A/N: I have so many other things to do, to redo, and such, but I really wanted to write this. I sobbed like a baby writing this, so don't say it's a retarded piece of p**p. I have feelings to and that would hurt!
Through the Glass
I stand there and joke, to try to make her smile, to let her see that nothing will change. But everything does. It doesn't matter what I do. The Earth still turns, the hours still go on, and there's nothing I can do.
I sit by the steps every Friday, alone. Sure, Cassandra sits by my side jabbering on about the latest gossip and relationship issues, but she just ticks me off. Sometimes I just want to smack her and say shut up, I don't care! But today seems perfect. I don't make eye contact and I can think to myself without any comments to her.
I imagine her sitting there. She sits there with her face bright and her brown eyes shining. Her hands go to that folder and I smile. She smiles and laughs at my comments. She even put some couples in there for me, even if she doesn't approve of my selection. I can imagine her pushing her hair to the side and yelling at me for doing something stupid. My "girlfriend," my "wifey," my best friend, my "mom" when I've misbehaved, I want to see her there.
I remember the last time I saw her, introducing me to her grandmother. I know more about her than her ex-boyfriend did. Still I'm nothing to her but a friend.
I want to hold her hand. I want to love her. I also want to see her smile and hear her laugh. I want to see her have fun and believe in her religion so devotedly. I want to be by her side and see that happen.
Would I say I love you? Never in a million years. She would never believe me anyway.
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