Young Writers Society

Deleted upon request.

The metal knobs on the church doors glisten menacingly under the intense sunlight and seem to be testing me of my determination.

I think it would sound better if you said "testing my determination".

I know I want to do this. But why my hands are shaking so much now?

Why are my hands shaking so much now? or you can add "I do not know" and the sentence will be fine.

Just her, in a simple white dress, sits quietly on a wheelchair, watching me with anticipation in her eyes.

Just her in a simple white dress sitting quietly on a wheelchair watching me with anticipation in her eyes.

I love the idea. Curiousity drove me on. The whole time I was reading this, a thousand possibilies to why the character would be nervous to enter the church exploded inside my head. You could work a little on your grammar though, but grammar can be fixed while a person's thinking can't. Good job and may the pen be with you!

-Crescent

Hi there! Let's get this review on!

But why my hands are shaking

you forgot an are...

statues of angels and saints watching upon me

watching over me makes more sense...

just her alone is the center of my world

not sure about this one, but I think you want to change her to she...

Just her, in a simple white dress

and again...

sits quietly

sitting quietly makes more sense...

even I have already love

forgot a though...and love should be past tense or get rid of have...

Do I wish that none of this ever happen

I'm not sure what you mean here. Past tense might clear it up a bit. Unless you didn't mean past tense, and then...you probably mean past tense.
I thought the part at the beginning where he's arguing with his hands was very funny.
I do have one question about it, though. Why is the guy walking down the aisle? Maybe, in this dying world's culture, that is the way it happens. Or the girl's wheelchair can't go down the aisle alone. But if you mentioned it in the story, I think it would make the whole thing clearer, because at the beginning I thought he was the bride.
Sorry I got so nitpicky. I really did like it! Keep writing!

Overall, I think this was very nicely written as far as the idea of being married under such pressure. Marriage is a pressure alone, but the idea that it's during a time of crisis is what makes it interesting.

I did notice quite a few grammatical errors and things though. They were pretty thoroughly scattered, so I won't bore your eyes by distinctly nitpicking every little error. But I will give an example of one of those minor things that just stuck out as I read through this.

I know I want to do this. But why my hands are shaking so much now?

I think you meant to write this as:

I know I want to do this(,) Comma but why are (place the "are" here) my hands shaking so much now?

[/quote]

This could have also possibly been written two other ways.
1.) "I know I want to do this, but why must my hands be shaking so much now?"
2.) "I know I want to do this, but why would these hands be shaking so much now?"

It's mostly a preference thing though. A few of your sentences are like this. There is also quite a few of these blaring errors that tended to disrupt the flow of the story. Some of your other reviewers might have picked a few of these out. But they're really not that hard to catch. I think if you went back through and reread this you would catch the majority of these mistakes.

That being said, I enjoyed your point of perspective from the man's view of things. It was well described and detailed for the most part. I could feel the anxiety of your character, and his conflicting thoughts were pretty nicely articulated. Your ending was also nicely tied up. His conflicing inner worry was resolved, and I suppose that was a basic element to your story. Good work.