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Nothing Like the Sun



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Mon Mar 04, 2024 11:11 am
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Liminality says...



Goals


  • Read 50 of Shakespeare’s sonnets (between preparation and across NaPo) (20/50)
  • Learn how to make cleverer turns with imagery and wordplay
  • Learn how to use a variety of structural techniques
  • Practice writing with purposeful rhythm
  • Write 15 poems
  • Follow at least 2 NaPo threads throughout NaPo


Index


1. You Change Me
2. In response to Sonnet 17
3. On Stretching Truths
4. Buck
5. For the Night is Good Enough
6. The Act of Holding
7. The Debt
8. The Fog Over the River
9. Colour Mixing
10. If You Give Me Sunshine
11. A Loving Person
12. Sketch
13. To a Sovereign
14. Deep Talk
15. And what's a colour? What a colour is.


Nothing Like the Sun - Poetry Scrapbook

Title from first line of Sonnet 130
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Mon Mar 04, 2024 12:56 pm
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EllieMae says...



Spoiler! :
I love these goals so much! I love how they aren’t just all number based. I can really see your focus on developing your skill and growing as a writer. That is really inspiring to me! Cannot wait to see your poems and hear about how your reading goes!
”Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forwards (so you might as well do Duolingo ).”


Was ailah2005
Then AilahEvelynMae
and is now EllieMae
  





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Mon Mar 04, 2024 7:42 pm
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AmayaStatham says...



Spoiler! :
I'm so excited to read all of your poems. You are one of my poem idols here on YWS and your poetry is always so simple yet so meaningful! Wish you luck Lim!
  





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Tue Mar 05, 2024 10:53 am
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Liminality says...



Spoiler! :
Thanks @AilahEvelynMae! Lifelong writerly growth is the dream :')

Thanks so much @AmayaStatham! I feel very honoured that you enjoy my poems!!

Best of luck for NaPo to both of you, too!

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Fri Mar 08, 2024 8:12 pm
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Ventomology says...



Spoiler! :
Shakespeare! You'll have to keep us updated on your progress reading through the sonnets! I can't wait to see your takes! Ahhhhhh!
"I've got dreams like you--no really!--just much less, touchy-feeley.
They mainly happen somewhere warm and sunny
on an island that I own, tanned and rested and alone
surrounded by enormous piles of money." -Flynn Rider, Tangled
  





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Thu Mar 14, 2024 8:45 am
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IcyFlame says...



Spoiler! :
I will never not look forward to reading your NaPo - good luck for the month!
  





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Sun Mar 24, 2024 8:41 pm
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Liminality says...



Spoiler! :
@Ventomology I'll do my best!!

@IcyFlame Thank you so much!!
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Mon Apr 01, 2024 6:05 am
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Liminality says...



1. You change me



Would you believe it if I said
you change the very shape I take,
at times like ocean scraping sand
and saving up the golden grains
for some other heart of mine
besides the one that loathes to move,
like wind you tear away the sheet
of fearful grey atop the cliffs,
these shoulders now unburdened
to carry skies I once could not,
at times like midday sun through clouds
a silent gardener of trees
that were -- perhaps those yet to be?
Just who you are to me I cannot say,
but if you change my lungs, I might, someday.


Spoiler! :
Inspo used from my scrapbook thread:
- Main challenge was: make a claim and support it with a good metaphor
- Run-on sentence and rhetorical question
- Final couplet is a Shakespearan sonnet-style couplet

Notes:
- A poem where the speaker compares themself to a landmass and the addressee to the weather. Not what I expected myself to be writing for NaPo, but it was an interesting exercise.
- This is only lightly edited -- I might have days where I edit the poem more, but lately I feel editing works better if you have some space away from the poem first.
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Wed Apr 03, 2024 5:58 am
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Spearmint says...



Spoiler! :
excellent start to NaPo, Lim!! :D i love the way you write nature imagery ^-^ "for some other heart of mine" is also such a thought-provoking line, and "a silent gardener of trees / that were -- perhaps those yet to be?" has taken up rent-free residence in my brain =P also awesome job reading over a fifth of your goal so far!! you got this!! >:D
mint, she/her


.--. / ... ...- -.-. .-.. / - .--. ..- .- / .--- --- ...- .--- / .--- --- .--. .-- / .--. .--- .-.. / .--- -.-- .-.. .... -
=D
  





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Wed Apr 03, 2024 10:17 am
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Liminality says...



Spoiler! :
Thanks so much for the encouragement @Spearmint!! I'm glad you liked the tree line, that was one of my faves too :D Best of luck with your NaPo as well!
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Wed Apr 03, 2024 10:44 am
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Liminality says...



2. In Response to Sonnet 17



You will not warm your hands
with lines of verse, however bright
the image, however strong the tone.

You will not cook your meals
on underwater fires, even if they spark
a light in both your eyes.

You will not find your way
by means of metaphor, by torch
or beacon, firefly or moon.

But I still write you poetry
when we are out of kindling.


Spoiler! :
This one is thematic inspiration! I took the topic of 'poetry' and wrote poetry about it like Shakespeare did in Sonnet 17. I also tried to stick to a continuous motif of images - fire/heat/light. I did add in the "underwater" to represent the parts of poetry that are fanciful/unrealistic
(though you can have volcanoes/ heat underwater I guess haha).

I tried to use iambs in most of it, but it's certainly not iambic pentameter. Nonetheless, this one still sticks to a broadly sonnet-like structure.
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Wed Apr 03, 2024 6:55 pm
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AmayaStatham says...



Spoiler! :

As always your poetry is a delight to read Lim. XD I stopped by to say that I really liked that second one. It definitely stood out. ^^
  





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Fri Apr 05, 2024 9:11 am
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Liminality says...



Spoiler! :
Thanks for commenting, @AmayaStatham! I like that second one too :D
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Fri Apr 05, 2024 9:17 am
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Liminality says...



3. On Stretching Truths



The forest paled when it was stretched
across the desert sand and stone
and shuddered at my landscaping.

At awkward stones in grassy groves,
at how I tried to capture that
initial weave of green,
but only made the tapestry
a copy of the copied.

And all the maps I drew by hand
could never show each swaying tree,
as though a high-end textiles shop
were missing textures, missing hues,
and missing what the forest had
when it was bundled, thick and dark.


Spoiler! :
Based the technique off of Sonnet 24, where there are two things ('gaze'/body and 'looking at/ making paintings') consistently related to one another through figurative language, even if not explicitly via a simile. Here it is cloth/textiles and forests, plus a little extra in the title.

I brainstormed for this poem by writing down the following:

    Truths | stretched, like a fabric | like a terrain

    Beliefs | adjusted, like a fabric | landscaping

    Evidence | curated, like a fabric display / textile selection | mapped / map-making (i.e. highlighting particular landmarks and giving a certain perspective of the world)

    Familiar terrains and landscaping: forests, lawn grass, gardens, weeding, campus map

I also took inspiration from lines in an old poem of mine called 'One drop more': “Lyric lines are stretching truths across the desert gravel,/ Long mirages slowly shore their blue by one drop more.”

I think the rhythm of On Stretching Truths works best in the third stanza, but is a bit more awkward in the first two.
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Fri Apr 05, 2024 9:23 am
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Liminality says...



4. Buck



She bucks against the thought
of making a quick buck.
The only buck she follows
is the kind with antlers.
They wish she wouldn’t follow it
so closely.
Reindeer are shy.


Spoiler! :
Inspired by the wordplay in Sonnet 26:

To thee I send this written embassage
To witness duty, not to show my wit


I might have another try at this with a more serious-sounding poem.
she/her

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Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life... He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. It's ironic he could save others from death, but not himself.
— RazorSharpPencil