In three hours, she will be gone. Sometimes I worry that she is dying, But maybe she is finally getting her chance to live. Really live.
I like to imagine that the girl I am right now will soon be with her friends, 17 and 15 and 13 and 8 and 4.
Free at last, from every chain the future has shackled her in and every worry she cannot control.
Free from pain, finally. Free from loneliness. Free from stress. Free from the past. Free from whatever the next year holds. Because sometimes, forgetting avoiding, hiding, and leaving is easier.
So I like to think, 18 isn't dying, she is being born into freedom.
She can finally go back to being the girl she was, a year ago. She can return to her relationship with God and forgiveness and hope and health and everything I gave away, to become 19.
I love you, 18. I am so sorry for every way I have hurt you. I hope you can forgive me. I'll love you and remember you, Always and forever.
(ps: Tell 17 I miss her.)
”Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forwards (so you might as well do Duolingo ).”
Was ailah2005 Then AilahEvelynMae and is now EllieMae
hey ellie! i love all your poetry so far; you have such a beautiful way of writing and expressing emotions. i especially love 18 is slipping away from me. getting older and leaving past versions of yourself behind is something i think about a lot, and you capture the sentimental and bittersweet feeling very well. amazing job so far, good luck with the last few days of napo! <3
For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace. Romans 6:14 NIV
never apologize for standing up for what you believe in.
previously MomoandAppa, LordMomo, MomoMajesty, and dancingontheclouds
hey ellie!! ahh, 19 is so beautiful!! and the contradictions "who will never always love you"!! i always love your poetry and this napo is no exception!
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~l o v e r~
herb/tea/hour! He/She
projects: 5 acts (poetry) treading through abyss (novel)
ELLIE OOSDJODSFJLSDFJD YOUR POETRY IS SO BEAUTIFUL WHAT IN THE WORLD AHHHHHH Okay sorry for the all-caps, but I actually can't express how much I love your poetry.
and maybe my poetry sucks but at least when i write i am not alone like every other moment of my life.
<3333 Your poetry does not suck! You are actually my favorite poet on YWS ever. This poem was beautiful and the way you write emotions is actually breath-taking.
The one on April 12th about lemons was one of my favorites Edit: Another favorite is 18 is slipping away from me. but honestly so many others I have absolutly loved these are only a few that I wanted to mention!
You are trying to rescue the little girl you never saved. You are trying to show me that you are changed. You are trying to make me forget, or move on, Or understand, that the monster in my closet is finally dead.
To this day you are one of the only poets ever that has made me cry, and are the only one that has been able to do it multiple times. Thank you so much for sharing everything here, you are so talented and so kind and you are actually amazing. <3333
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." ~Dr. Seuss
Ahhh, Ellie >.> Your poem 18 is slipping away from me is so good!! It's deeply relatable as someone who just turned 19 and has always hated getting older >.> I hope you find nineteen to suit you well <33 Amazing job with NaPo this month!!
She/They/Fae
“the wist i knew would never allow a straight boy in their stories” ~Omni “Hi Omni can I request wist get the role mom friend :]" ~winter “ah yes, fear Wist's smile :) <- speaks of layers and layers of secrets” ~mint
I love the fact that every year, For the rest of my life, My birthday will be on the 21st day of NaPo. And every year, I can remember who I was, Every battle i fought to win, Every beast i did not slay, Every chicken i befriended, And every capybara i swam with.
”Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forwards (so you might as well do Duolingo ).”
Was ailah2005 Then AilahEvelynMae and is now EllieMae
Everything feels like a spectrum of Distortion to reality. I thought that God was freedom, The ultimate lens of reality, The all encompassing, embracing hug Of knowledge. But now, the unapologetically sinful Life I live, Feels like freedom, for the first time in my entire existence. My pendulum swings between Polar opposites, that cannot coincide. I am stuck on the spectrum Of distortion and reality.
”Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forwards (so you might as well do Duolingo ).”
Was ailah2005 Then AilahEvelynMae and is now EllieMae
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