The Fateful Heart

"Eve?" Evaline heard Odeta whisper to the girls as she walked away with James. "Did he call her—" and then her voice was too low for her to hear.

Evaline chose to ignore that she heard that.

The rest of the afternoon went by lazily. She had some moments with James alone where they could talk without any prying eyes, but she also talked and helped out with various chores with practically all the other mages. Jared again, Raya, Maisy, Elrick, the teen girls again, Redwen, and even Nathan, but not for very long. She found him to be the hardest to talk to.

When she was with someone else, James seemed to go off alone, with Elliot to distract himself. When not with the mages, she tried her best to fill her time with him.

Evening came, and it was dinner time. Everyone gathered around the campfire again, practically in the same arrangement as lunch. It looked to be more soup, potatoes, vegetables, and other sides Evaline didn't recognize. The food smelled hearty and delicious, but James poked her to warn that there was meat involved. She didn't want to take the time to explain this to Maisy who was busily serving food left and right, so she ended up picking the meat pieces off and setting it on James's plate, which he happily ate. She wasn't really sure if she should be glad about that or not.

Conversation came by naturally, and thankfully, Odeta seemed to be giving the both of them the space that she wanted. Evaline knew she didn't want to stay at the camp, but she could understand why they all did want to stay themselves. It truly was like a family.

Eventually everyone finished eating, and conversation started to die down. Maisy asked the kids to grab the plates to clean, and then she and Elrick approached her and James.

They sat down on the log beside them, and Elrick had baby Leah balanced in one arm and his plate of food in the other.

"Do you like to dance, Evaline?" Maisy asked with a small smile.

Evaline looked up at her and felt a smile tug at her lips. "I do," she said. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, normally we like to end the night with a little music and dancing," she said. "Elrick plays a steady drum, and Nathan's a very talented flute player."

Elrick leaned in to Maisy's shoulder, and looked up at her adoringly.

"And Maisy's got the most beautiful voice in the world," he gushed.

Maisy smiled. "He's biased," she said sheepishly.

"And right," Elrick countered.

Evaline smiled watching the two converse. "That sounds nice," she said softly.

"You'll have to dance with everyone else," Maisy said. "It's a great time. Tiberius, you'll join too?"

James nodded quickly. His mouth was full. Of meat.

Elrick laughed, and handed baby Leah over to Maisy for a moment. Leah was getting a little fussy.

"Did you change her?" Maisy asked.

"Unless she went again--"

"No, you'd smell it," Maisy said, answering her own question. She put her plate in her lap and held Leah under the arms in front of her, and Leah seemed to perk up.

"I can hold her while you eat," Elrick offered.

"I think she just wants attention," Maisy said, holding Leah over her shoulder.

Maisy looked over at Evaline, then at her empty plate. "Would you mind holding her for a bit?" she asked.

Evaline looked between Maisy and Leah. "Oh, uh," she said, shifting her weight on her seat. "Sure. Yes. I can do that. But I don't really... well, I haven't really held a baby before."

"Oh, sweetie, it's not that hard. You just support the bum and the head, like this," Maisy said, quickly demonstrating, before holding Leah out towards her. James grabbed the plate off of Evaline's lap and put it in his.

Evaline nervously smiled, and she put her hands out in front of her. "Okay. I can try," she said quietly.

Maisy smiled, still holding Leah out. "You'll be fine." She waited for Evaline to take the baby.

Evaline gingerly took Leah, acting as if she were made of frail paper or glass, and then copied her demonstration of cradling her while supporting her head and bottom. "Like this?" she asked, looking up at Maisy.

"Perfect," Maisy said, before taking a bite of her food.

"Okay," she said softly, trying not to freak out that there was a tiny human staring up at her and breathing in her arms. "I can hold her until you're done eating."

"Thank you so much, dear."

James hurried to finish off his food, and even though he had more than Evaline, he managed to clear his plate moments after she got handed Leah. He set their plates on the edge of the log so they were out of the way, and found his attention captured by the baby in Evaline's arms.

Leah looked curious and caught sight of James peeking his head over Evaline's shoulder. James reached out his hand and stuck out a finger, and Leah seemed to instinctually be drawn to it, and wrapped her stubby little fist around his pointer finger, holding on tightly.

James smiled.

"You've got a strong grip," he said softly. To the baby, obviously.

Evaline looked up at him, brow raised and smiling. "I take it you have experience with babies?" she asked.

"A little," he said quietly. "Leah already knows this. You can see the wisdom in her eyes."

Leah, as if on cue, closed her eyes, and pulled his finger closer.

Evaline stared down at Leah's face, unimpressed. "I definitely see the wisdom," she said blankly.

James couldn't help but smile. It had been a while since he'd been around children, or families, or newborns. It wasn't something he ever thought he'd missed when he had it, but there were a lot of things he'd taken for granted before he became a wanted man. It was such a simple thing, but something about seeing Leah, in the first few precious months of her life, made him happy.

But it was a difficult life she was being born into. He was glad that she had such a strong family around her to take care of her. He understood why Elrick would be wary of anyone new. What they had was more than worth protecting.

"She doesn't seem to want to let go," James said, attempting to tug his hand away lightly.

Evaline stared at him trying to pull away, looking amused. "I think the baby is stronger than you," she said.

"She very well may be," James said, grinning up at Evaline.

"I guess you're just going to have to let her have your finger."

"I won't miss it too much," James said. "I have four more."

Evaline laughed. "Careful. You don't know what kind of magic she can do yet. You might very well lose it."

"At least I'd have a fun story to tell. Losing a finger to a baby."

"At the very least, this will make you look less like the posters. You can't have a mean face and lose a finger to a baby."

James scoffed, and Leah finally relented her grip, reaching up towards Evaline's face with grabby fingers. Her hands caught on Evaline's braid.

"Oh - we don't want that," James chided, pulling the baby's hands away before her fingers were intertwined. He pushed Evaline's braid over her shoulder, out of Leah's reach.

Evaline had scrunched up her face when Leah reached out with her hands, but she softened her expression and glanced over at him with a shy smile. "Thanks," she said quietly.

James smiled shyly in return and leaned away a little, so he was no longer hovering over Evaline's shoulder. Leah seemed to lose interest in Evaline's hair and returned her hands to her stomach and closed her eyes again.

"She seems relaxed," James commented.

"Do you think she's going to sleep?" Evaline asked, staring down at her face, trying to study her.

James glanced around the fire. With all of the ongoing chatter, the crackling of the fire, and the occasional clank of forks against plates, Leah would have to be a heavy sleeper. But he wouldn't put it past a baby.

"Maybe," he said softly.

Evaline seemed deeply focused, still staring at Leah and staying perfectly still. "Now I'm afraid to move," she mumbled.

"She'll be fine," James assured her.

Evaline paused, then slightly nodded and began to relax her posture. "Okay," she said, turning to look at him. "But it's your fault if she wakes up and starts crying."

James was ready to accept that blame, but before he could reply, Maisy turned back to them, now, with her hands free.

"Thank you so much for holding her for a moment," Maisy said. "I can take her back now if you'd like."

Evaline hesitated. "Okay," she said, looking back at Leah. "But will she wake up?"

"She's asleep?" Maisy asked. She seemed surprised.

"I... I think so. I'm not sure. Her eyes are closed. Maybe?"

Maisy drew near, kneeling beside Evaline and looking down at her daughter.

"She's finally sleeping," Maisy said in awe. "I don't know how you did it. Thank the gods. Okay. I'll just - I'll just pick her up veeeery carefully. Stay still, now, darling."

Maisy reached down with gentle hands, slowly cradling the baby and lifting her out of Evaline's arms. Leah barely seemed to notice, and Maisy looked relieved.

"It's a shame," Maisy said. "She's sleeping now, of all times, at the noisiest part of the day. I'll never understand it."

Evaline smiled, eyes gazing down at Leah's peaceful sleeping face. "I guess I have baby handling magic that I don't know about."

Maisy smiled in return and laughed a little. "I guess you do."

Then, they heard five beats on a drum, and the chatter started to die down as all eyes turned to Elrick, sitting on a log with a tall drum between his knees, and Nathan, with his flute in hand.

"Grab your partners!" Elrick cheered, starting a beat. Nathan picked up on a melody, and Maisy hurried over to her husband with Leah in tow.

As everyone started getting to their feet, James found himself looking over to Evaline.

Evaline was looking back at James, hoping that he could read in her eyes what she wanted to ask. She had led him in dancing before, but that was different. That was weeks ago when both of them were putting an act in front of each other. And now that she knew that James wasn't comfortable with touch, well, she didn't even know if he had enjoyed that dance, or if he enjoyed dancing at all.

She could just ask, but she wasn't prepared for the possible rejection. It already hurt that he had denied her request for a hug when she thought he needed it. As much as she'd brush it off saying it was no problem, she didn't want to face another rejection.

The others seemed to gather around finding their dance partner, and the words got stuck in her throat. She glanced around for a moment, but then looked back at him, deciding to ask with her eyes instead.

Do you want to dance?

James looked right back at her, and his normally hardened look seemed to soften. He briefly broke eye contact as he got to his feet, and then offered her his hand.

Evaline looked down at his offered hand, and she felt her heart flutter as she gingerly accepted it. She smiled as she held his hand for a moment before standing up herself, looking up at his eyes again. They seemed sincere, like he wanted to do this.

He returned the soft smile as he took her to the open field where the others were waiting, and where Elrick, Maisy, and Nathan were to play music.

They faced each other and James placed his other hand on her waist when the drums started softly ease into the melody with the flute starting the velvety harmonies. They met each others eyes, and she knew that this would be a conversation spoken without words.

The dance started slow at first, and it was simple. Some turns, some cross body leads, then and some push and pulls of connection. Maisy started singing, and the song slowly started to pick up. He seemed to be warming up.

He was faster on his feet, but Evaline had no problem catching up. She tried to smile and meet his eyes when she could, styling with her hands and adding a few unlead footwork patterns to tease him, as if saying, 'Come on, I'm getting bored, and I know you can follow better than this, so can you spice up your leading?'

James smiled and raised a brow for every little unlead styling pattern, and he seemed to detect her thoughts, moving on to fancier and more complex moves. During a buildup of the song, he quadruple spun her, and she looked up at him with a big challenging smile.

The song went back to the heavy upbeat melody, and he pushed her for a spin. And just because she could lead, she pushed him for a spin, which he followed. They both grinned, immediately finding each others hands again and settling back to rhythm.

The song was getting faster and faster, and James seemed to take this as a challenge to her silent taunts. She found herself practically jogging to keep up, and this seemed to not faze James.

At the back of her mind, she knew that he didn't hold back, especially since his leg was healed. He was truly giving this his best effort.

And it was fun to catch up and be challenged. She had missed a few of his leads, and every time, he would be smug about it, like he had won a challenge. But two could play at this game, and Evaline found herself backleading at first, but then leading some parts and spinning him in some parts, but he transitioned seamlessly. But for the most part, he was leading her along, all through the song, up until the very end.

The song ended with one last loud beat of the drum and Maisy and Nathan holding the same note, but James didn't seem to want to finish without a proper end. He finished his spin and then tugged at her to spin his way down into his arms where they ended as a dip.

She was leaning backwards, James supporting her back and the back of her head. They were both grinning and heavily breathing from the speed of the dance, but she only noticed that when the music faded.

They locked eyes the entire dip, but he lingered in this position even with the music stopping.

Evaline's smile started to fade as her heart started to beat in place of the drums. The joy of the music seemed to take away the playfulness, and now that there was only the sound of silence and their heavy breathing, she found herself being zapped with an intense desire to...

No. She couldn't.

She broke eye contact, looking down at his lips in thought.

She couldn't. Shouldn't. She shouldn't.

James slowly brought her up, and though the sun was going down, she could just make out his flushed face and the beginnings of an embarrassed smile.

Although she was now standing up on her two feet, Evaline didn't let go of his arms. Not until he did first. She was aware of the others whispering around them, but she was just... she didn't know if he'd let her get this close again. It was nice. It made her feel happy, and she wasn't quite ready to let go of that right away.

As if reading her mind, James finally loosened his grip, and Evaline could only stand there in front of him, watching him avert his eyes with a flushed face. She wanted to feel embarrassed too, but she wasn't. She was hopeful that maybe... he wanted to change his mind.

Most of the time, James thought things through. At least, that was what he liked to believe about himself. He tried to carefully assess situations, observe people's behavior, and make carefully thought out decisions based on his deductions.

But this?

It was like he'd run into the water without any oars, a boat, or anything to keep him afloat, and now he was drowning in the wave of panic that crashed over his mind the moment the music stopped. The moment Eve had looked to his lips, like she was asking with her eyes again, but this time for something more. Something he wasn't sure he was ready for.

Especially not in front of everyone else.

Desperately, he wished for something to grab onto to keep him from getting carried away as anxiety pounded in his chest faster and faster, but he couldn't think of what to do.

Chatter started to build up again amongst the mages, along with laughter and hearty cheers. A few more drum beats, misplaced. The small blanket of sound gave him the courage to say something to break the silence between him and Eve, which ended up being the first thing to come to his mind.

He realized though, that while he'd pulled away, he was still holding her hands.

"That's how I wished I could've danced the first time," he said, still catching his breath, not stopping to think how that might sound, or what it might imply until it'd left his lips. He wasn't sure if he wanted to facepalm or bury his head in the ground. Either would do.

Eve didn't seem fazed by his words. Somehow, even despite their earlier reaction of a simple tug of hair behind her ear, she looked unfazed by the whole dance. She looked down at their intertwined hands. "I wish your leg was healed earlier, too," she said softly.

James let out a shaky breath, and rubbed his left thumb over her hand. He swallowed, and gently pulled his hands away.

"We make a good team," he said quietly.

Eve's hands lingered in the air for a moment, but she slowly crossed her arms and looked at the ground with a wistful look. "I agree," she said quietly back, and he was beginning to see hints of pink rush to her cheeks.

"Thank you," he said quickly. "For... asking to dance. Even if it - you know."

Eve hesitated, finally looking up to meet his eyes. He was glad to see that she didn't seem to be upset. "No, thank you," she said back. "For letting me... dance with you, I mean."

James smiled, and released a small sigh of relief.

"When it's you asking, it's hard to say no to a dance," he said softly.

She looked away, trying to hide the sudden embarrassment that flushed her face. She attempted to do this by placing a hand on one side of her face, but James could see right through her.

She cleared her throat.

"I think others are watching us," she said in response in a low voice.

James glanced at the others. The girls had started helping Maisy gather the dishes, but Evaline was right. They kept glancing over at them.

Unfortunately, the moment James looked away, he saw Raya, of all people, approaching.

"Incoming," he whispered.

Raya walked up to them, but to say that would be a stretch of the truth. As she approached, she completely ignored James, and stopped in front of Evaline specifically, reaching out a hand to Evaline's shoulder.

"So, um," Raya said, cutting in. "We were talking sleeping arrangements. And I have space in my tent for one more, so I was thinking you could stay with me for the night."

"Oh. Yes. Sure, that's fine," Evaline said quickly, obviously distracted as she started to wring her hands in front of her, staring at Raya's hand on her shoulder. "I don't mind."

"Sweet," Raya said with a smile, before turning to look at James. The smile disappeared in an instant.

"You'll be staying with Nathan and Jared," she said plainly.

He didn't get a choice? She made that sound like a demand, not an offer.

"I wouldn't want to intrude--" James started.

"It's decided," Raya said sharply.

Well, okay then.

"Thank you," James said, with all manner of faked politeness. "For the hospitality."

"Yeah, sure," Raya bit back before turning back to Evaline. Her tone did another 180. "How about I help you get settled in, then?"

Evaline glanced back at James, but then nodded. "Okay," she said softly, and Raya immediately began to lead her away. As they made their way across camp, Evaline gave one last glance to James, using her other hand to give him a small wave.

Raya gave her a quick tour of everyone's tents so that Evaline knew which one was hers specifically. "It's the lighter blue color with the small flag in front," she said, pointing at the various features. She also went through how the other tents differed—Elrick and Maisy's tent was bigger and had two flaps for a door, for instance—but she spent almost no time talking about Jared and Nathan's tent, almost as if she didn't want Evaline to go in that direction. If she hadn't have known that James would be staying the night there, she may have been suspicious.

The sun had fully set, and dusk was settling in. It looked like everyone was getting ready to sleep already, and they avoided any fires around the camp, so it was getting dark fast. Raya explained it was to prevent any needless wanderers from finding the camp at night, but they also had others on night watch just in case.

Raya was telling her how surprised she was that Evaline packed light, and she fluffed up some pillows before adding it on top of her bedroll that seemed to have one too many blankets for extra comfort. Evaline was tempted to go into the saddlebag and take out her journal and book, but she had a feeling Raya was talking about clothes or other personal items.

Suddenly Elrick peeped his head in the tent. "Hi Evaline," he said, smiling and nodding at her direction. "Can I have a quick moment with you before you head to bed?"

Raya and Evaline exchanged glances, but Raya gave her a soft nod, like she approved.

"Of course," Evaline said, exiting the tent. Elrick made sure to close it before he led her away, out of earshot from Raya and potentially anyone else.

"What would you like to talk about?" Evaline asked, but she had a sinking feeling she already knew.

Elrick smiled warmly at her. "First, I just want to say that everyone here has been so happy to have you around. I know we got off on the wrong foot with the ambush, but I'm glad it all worked out and that you were able to spend some time with us. We're like a family here, you know. Mages can always count on other mages."

Evaline simply nodded.

"Your experience today is pretty typical. We keep watch and work together as one unit. And of course, we have fun too. I hope you enjoy Maisy's cooking and singing as much as I do," he said with the same welcoming smile.

"I did," Evaline said, offering a small smile of her own. "Everyone here has been so welcoming. Thank you. Really."

Elrick nodded. "I'm glad. Really." He paused. "And I want you to know, we have a spot for you here. I know you're running for your life, but that can end here, if you'd like. We would be so happy to have you join our camp and our family."

Evaline paused, trying to figure out the words she had rehearsed in her head beforehand. Unfortunately, the dance with James made those words fuzzy.

Elrick seemed to continue talking anyways. He sighed. "But I'm afraid we only have room for one."

She let his words sit in her head as she slowly processed it. "You mean Tiberius," she said curtly. "He can't stay." That wasn't anything new, though. She figured that'd be the case if she did stay.

He nodded, sorrow washing over his face. "I'm sorry. We're a group of mages, and keeping the most wanted man in Nye around poses a great deal of risk to our group. If anything were to happen to Maisy, or Leah, or anyone here..." He briefly closed his eyes and shook his head. "We can't take any risks. I hope you can understand."

Evaline slowly nodded. "No, no, I do," she said, brows furrowed in thought. She was thinking about his words, but in a different context.

Outside of family, James didn't ever mention the people in his life. She hadn't directly either, but she had implicitly brought them up a few times before. Did he not have many friends or close people in his life? Were they not around because they were afraid of what could happen when they were with him?

She pushed the thought away as she realized she was spacing on Elrick's words again.

"Good, good," Elrick hummed, filling the silence and looking at her expectedly. "I am glad you understand."

"I'm not staying," she blurted out, then immediately regretted not saying it in a softer way. "I mean," she quickly backpedaled. "It's very kind and generous for you to offer. Really. I'll never forget your hospitality, and all the memories I've made here. I just..."

What was she to say? That she didn't belong in Nye? That she needed James's help to get back to Earth? That everything she had told them was a lie?

Evaline sighed. "I'm not ready to settle yet," she said, looking up him with firm eyes. "I still want to travel north. I'm not ready to... commit to a home. I don't know what that means for me yet."

Elrick hesitated and she could see sadness wash over his eyes. "I understand," he said gently. "You don't need to explain it to me. I just wanted to let you know the opportunity is there, if you so desire to take it." He offered a gentle smile. "I only wish you safety and happiness, Evaline. Wherever or whatever that means to you."

Relief washed over her and she gave him an appreciative smile. "Thank you, Elrick. For everything."

"It's my pleasure. Will you be leaving in the morning, then?"

"As soon as the sun rises."

He nodded. "I'll be sure to tell the others so we can all wish you goodbye." He glanced back at Raya's tent. "Well, I'll let you get a good night's sleep, then. If you change your mind, you're welcome to tell me in the morning."

Evaline's smile widened. "Thanks. But also... I can tell you, it won't."

He laughed, then gave her a quick pat on the back. "You never know."

They both said their goodbyes, and Evaline gave him a small wave, watching him trot to his tent in the darkness. She sighed. That simultaneously went very well and very poorly.

She headed back to Raya's tent, opening the flap and then closing it again behind her.

"Welcome back," Raya said, laying on her bedroll with her elbow propped up to support her head.

"Thanks," Evaline said under her breath, following her lead and laying down on her own bedroll. She grabbed a blanket and draped it over her. It was softer and slightly thicker than the one she was used to sleeping with every night.

"Are you comfortable?" she asked.

"I am. Thank you for making the bed. And for everything, really."

"It's my pleasure," Raya said with a smile in her voice. "I'm really glad you're here."

Evaline paused. Did Raya not know she wasn't staying either? Did Jared not tell her? Why couldn't this camp be more gossipy?

She sighed and bit her lip, knowing she just had to get this all over this. She copied her posture, setting her elbow on her pillow with her head on her hands so she can turn to see her. "Raya, you should know," she began.

"Know what?" She almost sounded too innocent.

"Elrick had a conversation with me..." Evaline started, but didn't get to finish.

"Don't worry, he has conversations with everyone." She let out a short laugh. "Every night, he checks in with someone new. It makes sense he checked in with you today to make sure you're okay."

"Right," Evaline said slowly. "But this is different. Probably." She sighed. "Because he asked me if I was going to stay."

Raya paused, staring at her as she began to sit up straight. "And?"

Evaline bit back her tongue, knowing she shouldn't be as blunt to Raya as she was to Elrick, but she had a feeling she only wanted direct answers. "And... I'm not."

It was hard to see in the dim light, but she could tell Raya narrowed her eyes at her. "You're not staying?" she said in a steady voice, but she sounded almost hurt.

"I'm not," she said quietly. "I'm sorry. I know you probably wanted me to."

"Well, I..." Raya began, seemingly at a loss for words. "Yes. I do. But I don't understand. Why would you not stay?"

"I'm not ready to settle down yet," Evaline said, deciding to say the same thing she told Elrick for consistency. "I've enjoyed my time here, but this isn't for me. I'm not ready to find a home yet because I'm still trying to figure out what that means to me."

Raya snapped, sounding offended. "You think this isn't a good enough home?"

"No, wait, that's not what I—"

"I don't understand. I've been on the run for years. I know a good home when I see one, and I can tell you, there are going to be few opportunities, if any, like this for you in the future." She shook her head. "The Outlands is a lawless, chaotic mess. You won't find a mage settlement like that here."

Evaline panicked, not really sure how to explain this one. "I'm not planning on staying in the Outlands," she said as an abysmal excuse. "I'm traveling to Lettera."

"Outlands, Lettera, it doesn't matter," she quickly said back. "A camp like this is rare, Evaline. I need you to think this through. Please." She sighed. "I just don't want you to be in any more danger than you are right now, and here, with us, you'll be completely safe."

Evaline rubbed the bridge of her nose in frustration. It was starting to feel like she was arguing with the logical side of her brain. "Look, Raya, I know. I've thought this through. And I'm going to leave first thing in the morning. I'm not staying, but it's nothing against anyone here. It's a personal choice."

Her last sentence seemed to hang in the air, and Raya seemed to take it and run with it.

"Is it Tiberius?" she asked with sudden venom in his voice. "Is he the reason you don't want to stay?"

Evaline barely had time to respond.

"I don't buy your spiel," she continued, unrelenting. "Mages on the run aren't waiting for a 'perfect' home to appear, because we constantly fight and run for our lives. The world outlawed our existence, Evaline. We don't belong anywhere. If we see a good opportunity to settle down, we take it." She scoffed. "We don't pass it up and continue to run away."

Evaline stayed silent, suddenly feeling interrogated in this tiny tent.

"So?" she continued prodding. "Is it because of Tiberius? Do you love him or something? Is that it?"

Evaline let out a loud, awkward laugh, quickly sitting up straight with hands out in front of her like she was trying to calm her down. "Okay, Raya. No. Please. Just..." She sighed. "Just let me explain. Okay?"

Raya glared at her, visibly upset and not trying to be soften her eyes for her like she had been the whole day. Maybe she thought that, if she was angry, she could bully her to stay. She didn't know what was going through her head.

Evaline's mind raced to think of something. Anything. Any reasonable thing that wasn't alien sounding.

"I'm a time mage," she began slowly and softly, hoping her tone could help calm her down. "And you probably heard that my magic is based on my emotions."

Her heart thumped against her chest, and she was glad Raya was no longer interrupting her.

"Well. To be honest... I'm a terrible time mage."

She could hear her uncross her arms. "What do you mean?" she asked, voice softer with a bit of sympathy.

"I have awful control of emotions," Evaline said quietly. "Therefore, I have awful control of my magic. I feel like a fraud, sometimes."

"Hey," Raya called quietly, voice seeped with sympathy. "Don't say that. It's hard to train magic with a bloodline as rare as yours. I'm sure it wasn't easy not having a mentor figure in your life."

Evaline simply nodded, words still stuck in her throat, and Raya paused.

"But what does that have to do with not wanting to stay? Are you trying to find another time mage, then?"

Evaline widened her eyes, just a little.

Oh.

That was a perfectly good reason to say.

"Yes," she said quietly, heart racing as she reformulated her story. "My parents told me that there is a small settlement of time mages in Lettera. That's where I'm headed. Tiberius is heading to Lettera, I'm headed to Lettera, and that's why we're traveling together. That's it. That's all it is."

"Oh," Raya said softly. "I see then." She paused, darting eyes between her and the floor. "I'm sorry for blowing up on you. You have a perfectly valid reason to not stay."

Not that she needed a perfectly valid reason to stay, anyways. She had the freedom to do whatever she wanted.

Raya offered an apologetic smile. "I hope you find that time mage settlement, then. I'm sure they're good people. But if you change your mind, well..."

Evaline smiled back, relief washing over her body. "If I change my mind, I'll be sure to let you know," she said.

"I'm glad," she said back, laying back down on her bed again. "I won't tell the others about the time mage settlement, just to keep it a secret. Staying or leaving, I'm still happy you're here

Evaline followed suit, laying down on her bedroll.

"And Evaline?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for telling me the truth."

Few things in life could be compared to the specfic nuances of this moment: the awkward tension of being both a criminal, and someone considered other-than, being reluctantly welcomed into someone's private living space out of obligation instead of charity.

James found himself standing stiffly at the entrance of the the tent, with his blanket in hand, suddenly feeling very, very small.

It wasn't just because Jared towered over him, or even Nathan - though lanky - was a good few inches taller as well. The whole situation just felt like a was to force James into their circle, where he could be monitored and watched. It was like, without saying a word, they were still telling him they didn't trust him. The arbitrary laws of hospitality required them to allow him to stay, but it was like every moment Nathan looked at him, he was asking him to leave.

The tent was cozy. Simple. The floor had been covered in a thin blanket, and everything else sat on top of it. There were supplies - clothes, personal belongings - piled in the back of the tent, though most of it was put away in woven baskets. He couldn't help but wonder how long it took to obtain all of those things, out here in the desert.

Three bedrolls were laid out on the floor. Two of them looked used, with blankets and pillows atop them like a bed half-made. The bedroll in the middle - because of course it was in the middle - looked like it had just been laid out, with one pillow at the head, and a blanket already there for him.

He almost felt embarassed for bringing his own, but he hadn't expected to be provided with anything.

Jared closed the flap of the tent behind them, and pushed past James. He couldn't stand up straight under the roof of the tent, so he looked eager to flop down onto his bed.

Nathan, though, stood to the side, observing him.

"Welcome to our humble abode!" Jared said, putting his hands behind his head.

"You'll be sleeping there," Nathan pointed, even though James had already figured that out.

"Thank you," James said with a nod. He tossed his blanket over to his bedroll and then took off his shoes. He made the short walk to his bed mat in silence, noticing the other two quietly got ready too.

Nathan untied his hair and let it down, and Jared changed his shirt. Whatever else they did, James stopped looking. He laid out his blankets for himself and started to crawl under them, ready to sleep in silence and be comfortably ignored.

But then Jared sat down, and looked down at him. James watched the thoughts form in Jared's mind out of the corner of his eyes before he even said them.

"Comfortable?" Jared asked.

Small talk. Great.

"Yes," James answered, eyes flicking to Nathan, who had also sat down, on the other side of him. James didn't like feeling surrounded like this.

"I bet it beats camping outside all the time," Jared assumed.

"You get used to it," James said.

"When the weather's bad, though," Jared said. "It can get pretty nasty."

Nathan sighed. "Are you seriously going to talk to him about the weather?"

"Well not the current weather," Jared said. "Past weather. Future weather. Hypothetical weather."

"I'm content talking about no weather and just sleeping," James suggested.

Jared and Nathan exchanged a quick look, and that was when James realized the weather talk was probably meant to build up to something.

"Okay, so I wanted to ask something," Jared said.

Any time someone prefaced a question with a warning about the question, it was never an enjoyable question. James tried to brace himself for the unknown.

"I noticed how you kind of hesitate. Carrying things. Moving in general, sometimes. Is it some kind of past injury?"

"Yes," James said, jumping at the first reason that was suggested, glad Jared came up with it first. "I had an accident a few years ago. Haven't been the same since."

Jared and Nathan made eye contact again, but James couldn't tell what kind of conversation they were having with their eyes. Not while he was still lying on the floor under his blankets. It almost felt less vulnerable than sitting up between the two of them, where he'd be subject to their direct line of sight. Besides, that would mean interrupting their silent conversation.

Then again, maybe he should.

"So I was thinking--" Jared started. "Nathan's a healing mage."

James saw Nathan give Jared a pointed, wide-eyed look, but Jared kept going.

"Maybe he could heal it for you, so you're not in pain anymore. Seems like an awful thing to have to live through that every day, especially for years. And you're still so young, too. Besides. It'd be the right thing to do, I think." He paused, looking up again to make eye contact with Nathan.

"Right?" he asked.

Nathan stared back. "Rrrrrright," he said through his teeth.

James appreciated the thought. Jared, trying to make amends for the cold shoulder everyone had been giving him. Trying to be kind even though they clearly didn't like him. But James already new his answer. He wasn't going to accept the help.

"That's very kind of you to offer to help me out," James said. "But don't bother. I'm sure since it's an old wound - well, it's already healed naturally." He glanced at Nathan. "Your healing magic wouldn't work on it. It works better on new wounds, right?"

Nathan had looked a little annoyed and disinterested during this whole exchange until James started to refuse the offer. Nathan narrowed his eyes at him.

"Are you saying I can't do it?" Nathan asked.

"Since when did you know about how magic works?" Jared asked, their questions overlapping. "You're not a mage."

"I can do it," Nathan said, clearly gaining a stubborn determination out of his offense.

"I'm not saying you can't," James countered. "I just don't want to waste your energy or your time. Seriously, it's fine. Just forget about it."

"You haven't even seen healing magic before," Nathan accused.

"Come on, it really isn't that big of a deal," Jared said.

"Which is why I think we should just drop the issue entirely!" James said, forcing a smile, and poking his hands up out of the blankets in surrender.

"I'm going to do it," Nathan said, like he had something to prove.

"That's really not--"

"Show me where the past injury was," Nathan demanded.

"Look, I just don't--"

"Show. Me. The In-jur-y."

"Like I said, you don't--"

Nathan groaned in frustration and looked at Jared.

"Bring him over here, please," Nathan said wearily.

James was suddenly overcome with the very strong, very familiar urge to run.

He shot up out of his blankets, but Jared's arm hit him in the chest. James tried to slide out from underneath it but Jared grabbed the back of his shirt and yanked him to the ground. Already, James could feel his blood pulsing from his head to his toes, like his whole body had a heartbeat. He grabbed for Jared's neck and tried to yank it to the ground, but his attempt was stopped short when Jared's fingers dug into his side, pushing him to the floor.

The cry James attempted to bite back was involuntary, and as Jared held him down, James felt a chill run through him.

Everything was so loud. Jared and Nathan's faces were blurry, and their voices echoed, like they were bouncing off of cave walls and melding together, incomprehensible. He was shaking, and it was happening again. They were going to cut him up into little pieces until all that was left was a shred of himself.

They peeled away his shirt like it was a layer of skin and he froze, having forgotten that he was still fighting, struggling, wrestling in vain to get away.

All of the bandages were exposed, and it was no use anymore. He hadn't even had a fighting chance.

What would he have done?

Fled the camp? Run out of the tent? That was what he had wanted to do, no matter how awkward it might've been.

But now he just sat there, Jared's arm behind his back - half to prop him up, half to keep him in place - being stared at by two bug-eyed mages who clearly, hadn't expected to find James riddled with bandages all over.

Jared ripped his arm away and James fell to the floor with an "oof."

"Jared!" Nathan scolded.

"What?! I'm sorry! I didn't know!"

"You can't just drop him to the floor like that! He's clearly hurt!"

"I thought it was just like, one thing!" Jared said defensively.

Nathan shoved Jared away and leaned over James, scanning him. James didn't feel present anymore. He wished none of this was happening. He wished he could hide.

"I'm sorry," Jared repeated.

"Okay, so the old wound thing was a lie," Nathan muttered. "That's fine. That's fine."

"Tiberius, are you okay?" Jared asked.

"Clearly, he's not okay," Nathan answered. "Look at him."

"Can you stop talking about him like he's not right here?" Jared asked.

Nathan sighed, and tried to meet James's eyes.

"Tiberius," he said.

James looked at him, but he didn't respond.

"Tiberius," Nathan said again.

James had a million things he wanted to say, but none that he wanted to say out loud to two strangers.

"What?" James finally said, emotionless and hollow.

"You've got a lot going on, here," Nathan said. "Which one's the most pressing injury? I don't have the energy to heal them all. But if there's one causing you a lot of pain, or if there's one that's not healing right, maybe I can help with it."

James grit his teeth. Pick just one? But wouldn't all of them tell the story he didn't want to tell?

James swallowed hard, and he started to sit up. The two men backed away a little, but they still felt too close.

"One travels down my arm," James said in monotone. He didn't wait for them to respond. He started unwrapping his forearm.

Nathan drew near again, and James pulled away, before realizing it didn't make sense to. Nathan was just trying to look at the wound he was going to heal.

And no, James had not picked the worst wound. He didn't want them to see that.

This one, compared to the others, was very minor. It was one of the first cuts Reed had dug into his body. A test run, as he'd called it. To get a feel for his pain tolerance.

Nathan took a look at the shallow wound, shared a look with Jared, and then nodded.

"Alright. Hold still, then."

That, James could do.

Nathan took in a deep breath and gingerly placed his fingers around the still-healing skin on James's arm. His face set into a deep focus, and a white glow started to emanate from the tips of his fingers. The light stretched up his palm, and then Nathan laid his whole hand down, flush with James's skin. James could feel a penetrating warmth, like the sun itself was touching him, and yet, it didn't burn.

Slowly, Nathan drew his hand across it, and when his fingers slid away, what was left, was a thin scar.

James flexed his hand.

"Does it feel better?" Nathan asked quietly. He sounded weary.

James nodded.

"It looks better," Jared said softly. "Do you think you can do another?"

Please, please say--

"No. I'm sorry, I'm not strong enough yet," Nathan said sadly.

"It's fine," James said automatically, like it was a shelved response. "Thank you."

"It's the least I can do," Nathan said. "Especially after I... well, I haven't been very kind. None of us have, really. But especially me."

Jared reached out and patted James lightly on the shoulder. This time, with a gentle touch. Like he was afraid to hurt him.

On the one hand, James was glad that Jared withheld his strength. On the other hand, he didn't want to be touch at all in the first place, and more than ever, he just wanted to go to sleep and forget all of this happened. But he didn't know if he'd be able to.

"Here's your shirt back," Jared said, almost like he was embarrased, and he handed it to James.

"Do you need help getting it back on?" Jared asked.

James shook his head. He didn't need people treating him like he was made of glass.

"No, thank you."

He slipped back into his shirt himself, and both Nathan and Jared pulled away, finally giving him space.

"Maybe in the morning," Nathan said. "I can try to heal you a little more."

James laid down and pulled the blankets over him.

"Maybe," he said, closing his eyes.

"See you in the morning," Jared said quietly.

"Goodnight," said Nathan.

And then Jared blew out the candle of their little lamp, steeping the inside of the tent in darkness.

It was nice to get a full night's rest.

By the time early morning came, Evaline was full of energy and ready to go. She had a pleasant chat with Raya, who was clearly becoming softer towards her ever since she made up the whole time mage settlement story, like she was honored to be sharing this big secret with her. But Evaline thought nothing of it, and they both continued to share laughs and stories as they left the tent and began walking around the camp.

If their relationship hadn't been founded on lies, she might have even dared to say they could have been good friends.

Evaline, James, and Elliot were at the edge of the camp, packing things up and ready to go while everyone else gathered around them. Or rather, around Evaline.

"Don't go, Evaline!" Odeta pouted, hugging her waist. "You just got here!"

Evaline smiled, patting her head. "Sorry Odeta, but we all have our paths to follow. And yours is to stay here and make sure the other girls stay out of trouble."

It didn't take long to find out that Odeta failed to see the irony of things sometimes, and using this logic against her seemed to work since she pulled away and nodded.

Bethany and Masil gave her the side eye.

"I'm just saying that," she whispered to them, hand over the other side of her face so Odeta wouldn't see her lips. "You really need to teach her boundaries."

They both giggled, glancing over at her.

"What?" Odeta protested. "What'd you say to them?"

Evaline laughed and shifted her attention to Red as they continued to bicker in the background. He looked up at her with big sleepy eyes.

"I hope you'll remember me when you grow up," she said as she kneeled down, poking his nose. "I'll sure remember you."

He giggled and then ran up to Raya's leg, right next to Evaline.

"I'm glad I got to be the first water mage you met," she said to her with a smile.

Evaline smiled back. "I'm glad I got to be the first time mage you met," she said back, and they both came in for a long hug.

They pulled away and Raya looked like she wanted to say something else, but then Jared and Nathan came running over. Evaline noticed that they briefly talked and gave something to James, but she didn't get a chance to see or hear.

"It was lovely meeting you, Evaline," Jared said, smiling and giving her a firm pat on the back. "If we ever meet again, I'll be sure to show off my water magic instead of carrying buckets."

Evaline laughed, but didn't get the time to react.

"Sorry about your friend there," Nathan mumbled to her, barely giving eye contact.

"Nathan!" Jared scolded, elbowing him.

"What? I thought she'd appreciate an apology too."

She and Raya just stared at the two of them.

"Is this what they're usually like together?" Evaline whispered to her.

Raya nodded and smiled. "This is why I need another girl like you around. I have to deal with this constantly, nonstop."

Chatter died down, and Elrick and Maisy insisted in giving them some supplies, even though they were still pretty packed from the previous town's trip. Still, they insisted and gave her a big hug.

"We'll be careful not to ambush you in the future," Elrick joked.

"I'm so glad you stayed for the night, even if it's just a little while," Maisy said as she pulled away, baby Leah still in her arms, looking up at Evaline with wide eyes. "You know where to find us if you ever want to come back."

They shifted their attention to James. Elrick simply held out his hand for him to shake.

"Take care of Evaline, now," he said with a forced but gentle smile. "We both hope you have the safest travels."

She and James both hopped on to Elliot, and Evaline gave them one last wave before James clicked his tongue to signal Elliot to run.

They rode in silence for a little while, and the mage camp was long behind them. Now, it was just the two of them, plus Elliot, for who knows how long.

Evaline couldn't help but feel like something had changed between them now. The mage camp almost felt like a dream, like a sudden unexplainable shift that happened to their life and relationship. She wondered if he felt the same and would shake it off, or if he was going to continue being his normal stoic self.

And there was nothing wrong with that, but... well. She did want to explore more of the James from the mage camp.

They put some distance behind them, but they didn't ride for very long. James slowed Elliot down to a stop and then instructed her to jump off so they could continue walking. They did exactly that, and for too many seconds, silence filled the air as they walked down the beaten path.

Right now, he did seem a bit quiet and low-spirited, but considering their circumstances, she didn't think much of it.

Evaline wasn't comfortable with this silence.

"So," she began, hands behind her back as she followed along his side. "That was an experience."

James looked over at Evaline.

Ever since he'd woke up, he felt like his head was in a fog. He kept waiting for it to clear, but maybe he just needed to ride it out a little longer. Talking might help clear it away since silence didn't seem to be helping.

He tried to smile, but he didn't want to force it.

"That's a good way to put it," he said with a weak laugh.

Evaline slightly nodded, looking up at James, then back forward again, then back at James as she tried to figure out something natural-sounding to say.

"What were the chances of that happening, anyways?" she asked with a slightly forced laughed. "To get ambushed by mages, of all people. And then being drowned in their hospitality. You're lucky I was there, otherwise you'd be part of the ground by now."

James stared out ahead of them and nodded slightly.

"Yeah," he said with a breathy sigh. "It definitely went a lot better than I thought it would."

He glanced back at her.

"You... had fun, I hope?"

Evaline's smile faded as his words and body language were registering in her mind.

"Yeah," she said in a faraway voice, thinking. "I had fun."

Now that she finally had time to talk to James, she could tell something was off. He did seem more aloof before, but she could tell from his words that he seemed distracted, like he wasn't fully there.

"Are you feeling okay?" she asked, trying to not her worry steep into her voice, but it was harder than she thought.

James had to pause - at least, in his mind.

For a moment, he wished he'd hidden it more. He could've pushed the feelings aside and pretended nothing was wrong, like he usually did, without thinking. Why was he letting it leak through now? He didn't like people noticing... but with Evaline... he didn't mind it as much.

Still, though, he felt exposed. Again.

"I..." he started. "Sorry."

He sighed.

"I don't know how it went for you, but last night was just... weird for me."

Weird wasn't the right word.

"I know their hearts are in the right place, but I'm glad we left."

Something happened, and James wasn't giving her all the details.

Evaline watched him, no longer able to hide her worry. Weird, he said. Something weird, last night. It made him glad to leave.

She paused as the gears in her mind started to put things together. He stayed with Jared and Nathan, and before they left, they gave something to James, and Nathan apologized about James to her.

She thought he apologized to her because he didn't like his character. Did they do something to him?

"James..." she said slowly. Calmly.

"Did they hurt you?"

James looked away. He pressed his lips together and breathed in.

Evaline would want to know. He didn't have to go into full detail. He didn't even have to think about it, really. He could detach himself from it like he always did. Right?

"No," he said carefully like he was walking on egg-shells for no one. Maybe he was for himself.

"...Not exactly. Not on purpose."

James said no, but then backtracked and said that it wasn't on purpose. So... they did hurt him? Maybe by their magic? On accident? Maybe that was possible?

Anger and betrayal started to rise to the surface.

"Who?" she asked in a cool, monotone voice.