Garnet on the Astral Plane

Finally, Potash had left. Ilias sighed, and brought the stuff back out, which he had hastily stuffed under his sink in the cabinet. Mari placed the coin on the table.

"So, where were we?" she asked.

"Memorizing the entire building's layout." He spread out a map.

"Right. I've got the first floor down. The upper floors are mainly offices." Mari hummed. "There may be secret passages as well. I saw a promising hole in the ceiling in a hallway corner by the break room."

"Bathrooms are a good place to hide."

"Indeed." Mari studied the map. "Also a good place to create a diversion."

"Yes."

Mari committed the map to memory. "You done, Ilias? We'll have to update it if we find anything else, of course, but..."

"I was done 15 seconds ago."

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay. What's next?"

"Memorizing people's schedules will take a bit of time. I can't be everywhere at once to watch."

"I've heard that Mid is on a mission in the physical plane, which will likely take a few months in the astral plane since time works differently here. So it's mainly Potash and the Ikrrr we need to worry about, as well as security guard rotations."

"Just Mid being gone does help. So far the best range of time would be on a darcday in the morning."

Mari nodded. "I know Potash tends to spend her time in the office or the training center, but the times can be unpredictable."

"Most of the time she schedules to be in the training room in the afternoon."

"Right. Except for those occasional bouts of extreme rage."

"Mostly cause by a guy who isn't here at the moment."

"Perfect." Mari thought for a moment. "Have you succeeded in scheduling lunch with the Ikrrr yet?"

"The earliest he can fit me in is in a month. It'll be a good amount of time to plan."

"Alright. Now, security guards. When the director was shot, it took them around three minutes to reach the scene of the crime."

"Considering we do not have a loud gun, we'll probably have longer."

"We could go undetected completely if I managed to slip a poison into his drink. However, I suspect the higher-ups in this place are more on guard after the director's death."

"in a months time they'll chill out. Lazy bastards."

Mari considered it. "Fair enough. We'll just hope this Ikrrr isn't paranoid. Or, rather, investigate him until we determine if he is."

"He's more sophisticated and crazy than Mid from what I've heard."

"Which is frustratingly vague. 'Crazy' implies erratic, though, which isn't great."

"Nope, and Mid was already erratic. Also I'll need my mask back for this."

"I'm sure you can manage to retrieve it before the month is up." Mari tapped a finger on her chin. "Do we want to be so recognizable, though? The agency is already very anti-Skater and now, from what I'm hearing, rather anti-Veilnom due to suspicions from the chemicals. I've tried to keep things quiet, but the others gossip."

He clenched his jaw. "True. I am rather attached to my mask, but I'll try to conjure up a new one if I must."

"...On second thought, it'll be fine if we leave immediately. I'm not entirely sure why I've been sticking around in the astral plane so long. But I think after the job and collecting the payment, there'll be nothing left here. Except the lab, but, well... I doubt they'd let an assassin use it." That was something she'd regret. But 50,000 diamonds was a lot of money, maybe enough to let her buy her own equipment.

"We won't be able to leave the astral realm yet. That would raise suspicion."

"Ah. That's right. We'd need to keep working for a while as well, then find some other excuse to leave. Possibly a family emergency?"

"That should do the trick. Well- if it's part of my family Sammy might want to come along." He sounded regretful when speaking his brother's name.

"...He'll never know, will he. About you." It was a statement of fact rather than a question. Ilias just clenched his jaw, any emotion about his brother withdrew from his face. Mari nodded slowly. "I think that's enough planning for today. I'll ask the other scientists about the Ikrrr."

"Yeah. Don't draw suspicion."

"Of course not." She scoffed. "See you, Eel."

"Later, Mare." He replied, looking over the papers over his table.

She rolled her eyes and left.

He was back at the taco place and ordering number nine. Being in the physical realm was so weird; he wasn't used to the lesser people's geometrical clothing. He'd have to buy some of that soon to not stand out as much.

The crowd at the taco place was a little different this time. Not quite as rowdy. They still chattered amongst themselves, but they seemed closer, not so much like strangers with each other. He sat down at the same table that he had before with the manager.

Soon enough, the laborer he had first met joined him. The laborer chewed a bit of taco while eyeing him, then said, "So ya made it here." He gave a grunt that seemed vaguely impressed, though Mid couldn't really tell.

"That I did, no assassins made a successful attempt." He said, as if talking about how nice the weather was as he took a bite out of his taco.

The laborer guffawed. Behind him, a few people whispered quietly, then turned a corner deeper into the cramped building. The laborer said, "Lis'n carefully, then. We'll be off soon."

"Where to?"

The laborer cocked his head as if listening. Then he stuffed the rest of the taco in his mouth and gestured for Mid to follow.

Behind the corner was a trapdoor in the dingy wooden floor. In front of them, a lady descended into the dimly-lit basement. The laborer followed without hesitation. Mid followed him, still enjoying his taco.

In the basement, a crowd of people was gathered. There was a small space in the center of the mob where a lady stood on a cement floor. Her sharp brown eyes scanned the room, noting the faces of those who entered.

A light flickered beside Mid as he found a space where he could see. Someone behind him coughed.

"There's a few new faces, none that haven't been approved. For the new people, welcome! I am Lillian Sphenis and essentially the new Jordan Fanner. Just I'm not dead because I decided to play a game with certain dangerous people." Her voice, while slightly accented, was clear and confident.

A couple people chuckled, and others muttered amngst themselves. The laborer whispered, "Jordan wen' off on a reckless mission, he did. Serves him right is what I think. Should've thou' of the movement first."

"Do I get any more specifics?" Mid whispered back.

The laborer spit off to the side. "Tried ta get into the astral plane. Fool of an idea."

"Sounds like it." Mid agreed.

Lillian Sphenis continued, "Here, our focus is equality. No matter your position outside this room, here, we have the same aims. Greater rights. Access to the astral plane."

"Hear, hear," someone called.

"Currently we're working on finding people who will support and fund education programs, and allow short field trips into the astral realm."

Interesting. So if this group wanted to expand access to the astral realm... how did assassinating a scientist come into play?

"Please inform me if you have contacts or ideas," she finished. "Now, feel free to discuss and get to know your peers."

Mid turned to the person on the other side of him. They were wearing grimy triangle-covered overalls. "So, how'd you find them?"

"My brother," they said softly, nodding to a man in front of them. "But others are recruited individually, or express interest in fighting for the lower classes and changing the government."

Mid nodded. "So what are you currently doing to help?"

"I deal with obstacles." The person grinned viciously, their shy appearance suddenly gone like a mask tossed away by the wind. Then they nodded at Mid and slipped away into the crowd. Mid waved, and then looked around for someone else to talk to, one that preferably didn't look like they really enjoyed dealing with 'obstacles' in a gruesome way.

By some contortion of the crowd, he found himself next to the speaker. A person dressed in pentagons was mentioning something about being a minor member of the ruling families and being able to possibly purchase one guest crystal.

"...But sneaking in a large group would be too much of a risk," she said. "I don't want to get fired, or-or disowned, or..."

The speaker comfortingly rested a hand on the person's shoulder. "We wouldn't ask of you something that would get you in trouble. If you can get just a single person, you, yourself that would be amazing."

She calmed herself down and nodded. "Yeah, alright, Lillian. Thanks."

"Of course Mariah." Lillian smiled. Then she turned to the people around her, including Mid. They made eye contact for a moment, and Lillian's smile broadened. "You look like a new face. Welcome!"

Mid grinned. "What, my hat didn't give me away? My face was that new?"

At the current moment he was wearing a bucket hat covered in geometrical ducks.

Lillian looked at his hat and laughed. "Well, the hat too. We don't often get members with such an... impeccable sense of fashion. How are you finding everything so far?"

"It amazing." He gave his best, most genuine looking smile.

"What kind of work do you do, and do you have any suggestions for improvements to this organization? Here, we welcome criticism, unlike the ruling families." Her eyes darkened briefly.

"Well, I like to dabble in a bit of everything, but I'm good with puzzles though. And being entertainment. But I mostly focus on the puzzles."

"Puzzles. Excellent. We do always need problem solvers and creative thinkers." She glanced around the room and beckoned an older man over. Mid nodded and tried to look as humble as possible, like he wasn't trying to get himself deeper into this place to blow them up.

The man strode over and nodded politely. "My name's Ernest. It's nice to meet you."

"Pleasure to meet you." Mid stuck out his hand to shake. "My name is Hairy."

"Well, Harry, I've got to say that you look like a delightful person, judging simply based on your hat." Ernest nodded appreciatively.

"Actually sir, it's the other spelling of Hairy. You could say that my parents had a sense of humor."

"H-a-h-r-y?" Ernest guessed.

"H-a-i-r-y." Mid replied.

Ernest looked at Mid with a look of utter pity. "That is not having a sense of humor. That is having a sense of cruelty and sadism. You poor child."

"Well, you for sure will never run out of topics to talk about because there's always jokes that can be made."

"That's hairy true," Lillian agreed. She winced. "Sorry. Anyways. I called Ernest over since you mentioned puzzles and planning. Ernest here has an interesting project he and his team are working on."

Mid perked up. "And it's something I could help with?"

Ernest rubbed his chin. "Yes. But first, we need to get you a better name. How about Ilias, like the movie star?"

Now that would be hilarious. "Are you sure I won't get mixed up with him though? How about an E instead of I? Elias?"

"Eeeeeelias." Ernest tried it out. "Sounds good, Eeelias. Okay. So the project is a small thing right now, but we're trying to plan something related to the astral port." He started walking towards a corner of the room, and Lillian turned to converse with some other members. Mid followed him, not seeing anything else to do.

There was a cluster of members in that corner. The cluster expanded to make room for Mid and Ernest.

Ernest clapped Mid on the back. "Everyone greet the newest member of the Pandemonium Planning Committee, Eeeeeeeeeelias!"

Mid waved and smiled. "Hello!"

There was a chorus of "Hello"s and "Welcome"s, and then Ernest cleared his throat. "So! Let's get to it, folks. Let's break into the astral plane."

"Alright, what's it look like so far?" Mid rubbed his hand together.

"Distractions. Distractions galore. We need more distractions," someone said enthusiastically.

"Is there a way to overload the power in the building?"

"Good idea. Trevil, could you look into that at work this week?"

Someone, apparently Trevil, nodded.

"We need a list of people to bring as well," another member of the planning committee called out. "And we need to organize them into teams."

Mid nodded along. Finally, he was getting somewhere. Now to send a report and then, depending on the Ikrr's advice (or not), scuttle their plans...

It took them a good week of planning, plus avoiding Agent Potash. Ilias, who went out scouting every so often, could never see the IKRRR's face completely, but he could tell that the two were related. Then again, they didn't see much of the face of their employer.

Mari crawled in the vents, waiting for Ilias who was grabbing his mask. She peeked down at the lab below. Sammy was there, running further tests on the substances. Veilnom was now under suspicion, and they were attempting to find clues in the exact chemical compositions of the recovered samples. To that, Mari rolled her eyes. One of them was unoriginal, another was mayyybe something Veilnom would use, a third was meh, and the fourth was completely unrelated. No one had deciphered the message yet.

As for where Mari was supposed to be... Well, she'd made the excuse of feeling under the weather and was supposedly in her room, binge-reading sci-fi novels.

She observed the lab for a moment, making sure nothing was out of the ordinary, before crawling onwards to the meeting spot: above an empty conference room. Her Veilnom mask was securely on her face, and she felt the comforting weight of vials of various sizes and contents.

By the time she got to the meeting spot, Ilias was nowhere to be seen. She waited for a few minutes. Surely he hadn't gotten caught. While she'd worked in teams before, the worry for her fellow coworkers never quite went away. Mari would give it one more minute and then track him down. A second after she thought that, he showed up, sure enough wearing his silver wolf mask.

"What took so long?" Mari hissed.

"Idiot who wouldn't leave the room."

"Ah." Mari motioned forwards. "Onwards we go, then. Here's to hoping there are fewer idiots in our future."

"Next time I'll just kill them."

"Sure, sure. Just don't make a mess. The janitors work hard enough as it is." The vents led them through twists and turns as they approached the Ikrrr's office. As usual when she was on a mission, Mari devoted around eighty percent of her brain to being alert to her surroundings and twenty percent to remembering their planning.



"The vents in the Ikrr's office won't be accessable, which makes it ironic that his door can be broken. That hall isn't very busy either." Ilias said, sharpening his knives.

"Or a quick slice through or pour of acid over the hinges will do. The fanciest locks mean nothing if the hinges aren't reinforced." Mari lounged back in her chair.

"That works too. I was planning on kicking the thing down though."

She rolled her eyes. "So dramatic. Sure, if you want to announce to the Ikrr that hello, some deadly people have arrived to assassinate you."

"Well, it would shock him for a good few seconds."

Mari considered that for a moment. "The element of shock or the element of stealth... Hm."

"Both would surprise. Just one's more fun."

"Ha! Fair enough. I'll take care of anyone who's close enough to hear, I suppose." A good throw of vial A would knock out any bystanders. Veilnom's mask filtered it, and Ilias had immunity to it as it was a commonly used gas.

"Cool. Don't let us get mobbed."

Mari saluted. "I'll do my best. Though surely you're used to getting mobbed, celebrity."

"Not when I'm in the process of commiting violent acts."

"Tsk tsk. Such a disappointment to your fans. Or wait-- no, I'd bet it'd brighten the halo effect around you."

Ilias gave a bark laugh. Mari smiled, then said, "Alright, next step..."



Back in the present, Mari looked down at the hallway. Indeed, in all the time they'd been crawing over it, only one person had passed through. She stopped at the vent just in front of the Ikrrr's office.

They waited in silence for a few moments. The hallway remained empty. Mari crawled ahead to check the vent in the office and, through a tiny gap, observed an indistinct figure moving about in the room. She crawled back and nodded to Ilias. Ilias opened it carefully, and crawled onto the ceiling. Mari followed. In a swift motion he walked up to the door, and kicked it hard. It yielded to his foot with a sharp crack and then a thump as it fell inwards to the floor.

This was it. In the next few seconds, they'd earn enough money to sustain themselves for years. Mari tossed vial A into the room. Ilias walked into it, a knife appearing in his hand.

Mari walked in after Ilias. The Ikrrr gazed at them calmly. He was the spitting image of Mr. Elohel, from the blue cheese eyes to the wrinkled skin. "Welcome," he said. "You're late. Now, chop chop. Let's get this over with before all the empanadas at the dining hall are gone."

"Wh-" Ilias stopped talking once he realized he's back to being an assassin, and narrowed his eyes at the Ikrrr. Or should he say, Mr. Elohel.

Mr. Elohel stood up. Mari tossed a vial at him, but quick as a crystal shattering, Mr. Elohel shook a small canister and tossed it at the vial. They collided just above his desk. And, for the hundredth time that month, the world exploded.

Ilias turned around as it exploded. In just a few seconds, boiling hot water hitting both of them, and then the shockwave hit, throwing them both into the walls. Gravity oriented itself so that both were lying on walls. Mr. Elohel wasn't spared, as he laid on a different wall with a small self satisfied grin.

On the opposite wall from him, Veilnom hissed in pain, clutching one of her arms. Mr. Elohel, while laying on the wall, looked mostly unharmed. Ilias' ears rang, and all of his other senses in general were dulled except his sight, but he still stood up.

Mr. Elohel vaulted off the wall with uncanny grace and landed on the floor. Ilias walked back onto the floor, a bit wobbly. Hopefully unnoticeably. This was the second time of getting burned in his back by that liquid. It hurt, worse than a grenade in his face. Veilnom crouched on the wall and reached into a pocket with her unburned arm, likely for another vial.

"You've done good on your part, and I'll pay you, assuming you survive. Good luck, Mari and Ilias." He smiled. Ilias pulled out a knife and threw it at the accursed man.

The man jumped onto a wall again, knife thudding into the crystal next to him, then took out two canisters. He shook them, then tossed them in trajectories that would intersect each other. They detonated in the middle of the space between Ilias and Mari. Again, Ilias turned around, making himself as small as he could. He prefered to not have his mask melt into his face. A wave of scorching heat blasted his back. And like bomb routines, the shockblast knocked him all the way to the ground.

Once he got his bearings again, he noticed Mari next to him, stunned. Her fingers twitched against a vial and it seemed to take all of her strength to chuck it at Mr. Elohel. Mr. Elohel simply caught it.

"Tougher than you two look, huh? Knew I'd hired the right people." Now he just felt annoyed with that voice. Ilias growled as he turned around and chucked another knife at him.

Mr. Elohel dodged, transitioning to the floor again. Ilias saw it coming this time, and scored a hit in Mr. Elohel's leg. "Excellent, excellent!" Mr. Elohel crowed. "That'll make it more realistic."

"It would be more realistic if you were dead and we were gone." He growled.

"But then I would be dead." Mr. Elohel tossed Mari's vial at the ground, and an obscuring grayish-green smoke filled the room. Ilias got up, and started quietly walking.

"Exactly." Ilias flung more knifes towards him, and the areas around him without hitting Mari. He heard thunks, hitting walls.

"I don't much like being dead," Mr. Elohel mused. An indistinct figure moved in the smoke. Ilias threw 2 more knives, listening. Mari threw a vial that exploded upon impact, tossing up a sparkling substance that clung to the figure of Mr. Elohel. Ilias threw another knife at him, this time faster than before.

Mr. Elohel was quiet for a moment. Had it hit? When he spoke again, his voice was slightly strained. "Looks like I'll be missing lunch today. Let's end this."

"Let's."

Mari tossed a vial at the ground, releasing a white gas that reacted with the obscuring gas to clear the air in a matter of seconds. Mr. Elohel was behind his desk, clutching another canister.

Ilias threw his last knife when Elohel shifted. Perfect shot in the neck. Ilias took his time making his way over to the dying Ikrrr to finish the job, and he finished it using a knife he was able to pull out of the wall on his way.

"Job done. Let's go. Security is coming." Ilias replied casually, scratching at the floor real quickly.

Mari felt the side of the Ikrrr's neck for a pulse. None. "Good. And do you have to sign your work? We're not in elementary school, you know. No need to write your name on every assignment." She examined her arm. The skin was burnt a ruby-red. When she borrowed one of Ilias's knives and cut a flap from the side of her suit, the skin on her side was similarly vivid. Mari grimaced.

"Well you do it through middle and high, and even when you're an adult with paperwork. It'll add to the infamousy." Ilias winced. "I don't know how we're going to hide these burns."

"I have some salves in my room. For now, let's go before the guards arrive." She walked back to the hallway and jumped up into the vents again. Ilias was right behind her.

"Also, about the signing? You're a drama queen." Mari crawled through the vents in front of Ilias.

"I'm a king, not a queen."

"Drama king."

"Better. Thank you."

Mari rolled her eyes. Although she was in front of him, Ilias knew through her helpful commentary: "This is the sound of me rolling my eyes."

"I know, I can hear it rattling like crazy."

"Well, this eyeball-rattler has some stored-up and totally-not-stolen crystals to help heal your burns." Mari slipped down into her room.

"Great." Ilias followed.

Mari rummaged around in the back of a cabinet and pulled out a container with a creamy white paste. "Wash the wound, then put some of this on. I've got some rose quartz here too." She placed the supplies on the little crystal table. "We'll have to wear long sleeves for a bit, but the redness should fade in a day or so. Hopefully."

"I'm going to need a turtleneck sweater for that. Maybe a scuba suit."

"Ah. Call it a fashion statement. I'm sure you could pull it off, Ilias Ravioli." She smirked, cleaning her wounds using the sink.

"Of course I could pull it off." Ilias pocketed the items, and climbed back up into the vents partially. He wasn't about to question how many crystals she had and how she got them. They were being put to good use.

Mari finished rubbing the cream on her arm and side, then grabbed a few more rose quartz crystals from the cabinet. "Good. Now, this eyeball-rattler has a date with a very good sci-fi novel." Mari picked up a thick novel from the desk in her room. "See ya later, Skater."

"After while, Veilnom."

"That was a missed opportunity to say, 'Stay calm, Veilnom.'" Mari smirked at him, cracking open the book.

"That'll just make it sound like I'm calming a rage monster..." He muttered, smiling. He felt a feeling that flowed through his whole body, and it wasn't pain. But it was weird. It gave him strength and energy though.

"No, words aren't the way to calm a rage monster. Cookies are."

"Yes, exactly. I'm going to die and there's no cookies within a 500 mile radius."

"Tsk tsk. What a pity. I'll bring some to your funeral."

"So that way you don't mangle my corpse?"

"Indeed. Cookies can prevent the mangling of most everything. Certain kinds of bread rolls are acceptable as well."

"Well, it is just a shell after I'm gone so I don't mind. After while, Veilnom. I have noticable wounds on my skin I don't care to explain to the agents."

"Did you forget the scuba suit idea already? I bet Emerald-4 has artisans who can make one."

"I discarded it. I'll stick with the turtleneck and deal with the bald spot later."

Mari laughed. "Later, Skater. Find a better rhyme next time, yeah?"

Ilias groaned, and started heading for his room.

Potash looked at the mess of a room. Busted in door, explosive marks, knife marks, and one dead boss. And a signature. Skater's signature, to be precise. Potash's brow creased. Combined with the explosive marks and the residue of some kind of greenish-gray gas that was typical of the obscuring gases Veilnom used... Could the two assassins be working together? It's not unheard of that two assassins work together, but it's very rare. Rarer than rare.

"Have the lab run an analysis of the samples," she ordered. "James, organize a funeral for the Ikrrr." She paused to consider the Ikrrr. Or, well, his body.

The Ikrrr's vacant eyes were so different than the ones that usually sparkled with charm as he chatted with his bosses, or the ones that glinted with a sense of self-assurance as he directed his subordinates. Was she grieved at his death? She... wasn't entirely sure.

Potash gently closed his eyes, then left the crime scene. There wasn't much she could do until more information from the forensics team and the experts arrived. The Ikrr had been eccentric, at best. Mysterious. But did he deserve to die? YES, It was pointless to consider that.

"Lightness." Mid said softly from behind Potash.

Potash turned. "Lightness indeed." She analyzed him, then shook her head. "What has our agency come to? Two deaths in less than a month."

"Ones of higher rank none the less. When I get my hands on those assassins." he gritted his teeth.

Potash seethed. "You don't want to know what I would do." She knew a fire was blazing in her eyes, like sunlight glaring off the facets of a cut diamond. "Our security team should be better prepared."

"What's the point of having a job if you can't do it effectively?"

"Precisely. For once, you and I find ourselves in agreement. Shall we have a talk with the head of the security team?"

"For Once?" He snorted. "And yes, lettuce go have a little chat. Just let me get my hot pink wizard's hat first. Then we can be broccolioli rolling on our way."

Potash would never understand the different significances of Mid's wizard hats. But she acquiesced. "Five minutes. We meet outside his office."

Mid dashed off. Potash took the most efficient route to arrive at the office precisely one minute and fifty three seconds later. Mid arrived at four minutes and fifty nine seconds.

"Hm. On time, barely."

"Still on time. I like to be punctual. Now let's bash down some doors."

Potash raised an eyebrow. "Figuratively." She raised a hand and knocked.

The door opened to reveal a man with 6 day old stubble and a potbelly.

"Sir, with all due respect," Potash said disrespectfully, "you are incompetent. Where was your security team when the director and the Ikrrr were in the process of getting murdered?"

"Patrolling the halls." He grunted, scratching his face. "Where were you?"

"I came as soon as I heard the explosion, but it was too late," she said shortly. She didn't want to admit it, but... perhaps she hadn't come as quickly as she could have. Why?

"Which explosion?"

"The explosion from the Ikrrr's office?" She raised an eyebrow. "I don't believe someone's lunch popping in the microwave can be classified as an explosion, so, there weren't any other explosions around." Yes, she knew he likely meant whether it was the first explosion or not, but she had to attack something. And unfortunately, using him as a literal punching bag would probably get her fired.

"Well, if I recall correctly there were two explosions that came from his office." He burped into his hand. "Excuse me."

"You're not excused. The deaths of two of our members, and loyal, hardworking ones at that, are on your hands. Get your people in shape." Potash narrowed her eyes at him.

"You think I don't know?" His eyes blazed with anger. "I'm stretching out my forces as much as I can. They aren't on my hands, they're on the hands of the assassins who killed them."

"Hey, don't blame the assassins. We're supposed to have top-notch security. Twice in less than a month have we had 2 assassinations. That's on you. You're the security and you're allowing these guys in."

"We've watched every possible entry and exit point."

Potash sighed. They weren't getting anywhere with this belligerent chief of security. Perhaps it'd be better to speak with the new director. Their scientists could think up some traps, at the very least. Hadn't the previous assassin used the vents? And in this case, the security cameras hadn't caught anything. There wasn't evidence of tampering except for the one in the hallway right outside the Ikrrr's office, which meant Skater and Veilnom also had a way of getting around quietly. Potash hypothesized it all depended on the vents.

"It has to be an inside job." He shrugged. " We saw evidence of travelling through the vents. I'll see what we can do about the vents, maybe a system to incapacitate anything in the vents."

"That's precisely what I was thinking. Perhaps you've got a brain in that stone head of yours, after all." Potash immediately regretted that statement. "Apologies. That went too far. I appreciate the willingness to innovate."

"Well if I didn't have a brain I'd be dead. Have a good day." The head of security nodded curtly, and shut the door rather fiercely.

Well, Sammy wasn't much of a curser. He never used curses. But now he felt like cursing worse than a sailor. He was such an idiot! With everything going on he didn't think about putting Skater's mask in a secure place. Now that odious assassin has it, and he just killed someone wearing it. And Sammy couldn't help but feel like it was his fault.

Sammy had been running around for the past 15 minutes trying to find Agent Potash and Agent Midnight. He was a scientist, not an athelete. Everything hurt and he could taste something metallic in his mouth. Finally, he found them, standing outside of the office of the head of security. He stopped when he got to them, hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath so he could actually speak. But he was also impatient so... "He knew."

"What? Dude, your breathing sounds worse than a dying dogs." Mid said.

"Skater knew. He found his mask and then went to kill the Ikrrr."

Potash snapped to attention. "His mask? Where was it? What did he know?" She glanced around, then pulled the others into an empty conference room and closed the door.

Sammy sat down at a chair, and spoke fast. "So when I went back to Garnet-13 with Marisol, we found a scene of a possible fight. There was blood, and some chemicals, although some were pigment for whatever reason. But his mask, Skater's mask was left there. We took it back here and I kept it in my personal bag the only other person who knew other than Marisol was the assistant director."

Potash's lips thinned. "I see. And the assistant director didn't see fit to keep the mask in a secure place?"

Sammy shook his head. "She just said to keep it quiet so no one freaks out."

"Is no one around here competent?" Potash grumbled. She rubbed her temples. "We'll have to interrogate both of them. I sincerely hope whoever the new director will be has the guts and brains to deal with this mess."

A weird expression passed on Mid's face. Potash didn't seem to notice, as she was looking at Sammy.

"Thank you for the information, Sammy. Is there anything else you think may be relevant?" she asked.

"Uh, no that was it. But can I be fully in on the case?"

Potash glanced at Mid, raising an eyebrow to ask a silent question. Mid shrugged in a don't-look-at-me way, and spun his finger to motion Potash to answer Sammy. Potash sighed and stared at Sammy.

"Answer very carefully. Are hot dogs squaricanized tacos?"

Sammy stared for a second. Potash stared back. Her expression gave nothing away.

"What?"

"Are hot dogs squaricanized tacos?" She enunciated each word.

"I think you broke him Emily." Mid said from where he sat on the ceiling as Sammy just stared at her. What kind of question was that?!

"Ah. Well, technically Ilias broke him, then, since Ilias brought it up first." Potash glared at Mid. "Also, 'Emily'? Fine then, Hairy. Oh, that reminds me, I noticed you were absent for a while. On a mission?"

"Yes, one I would like to get back on. It's connected to all of this and it's the last mission the Ikrrr gave."

"I see. Keep me updated, if possible. The more information we have to work with, the better." Potash turned to Sammy. "Also, the right answer is no. But, nevertheless, you're in. I'd decided before asking the question."

"What do you mean Ilias started that? Actually, don't answer that question. I don't want to know."

Potash smirked. "Good answer. I'l be in my office, taking care of the investigation of the Ikrrr's murder, at least until the assistant director chooses a successor for him. Someone's got to keep the teams organized."

Sammy stood up, took a deep breath, and opened the door. "Ladies first, especially when they're higher up in position in the hierarchy."

"Ha!" Potash shook her head, but walked through the door. "Mid, think the three of us can meet in a week? Astral plane time."

"Well for that much time I'll have to stay here for that week."

"Ah. Let's meet in a month, then. Hopefully there are no more murders before then."

"Agent Potash!" A voice called from down the hallway.

Potash turned. "Yes?"

The agent sort of just collapsed to the floor. "Two things. Do you want the good or bad first?"

"Bad," Potash said shortly. She offered a hand to pull the agent up. He took her hand.

"There was another murder."

Potash cursed. "Who?" She started stalking down the hallway in the direction the agent had come from, although her sharp voice was still clear. The agent scurried after her. Sammy struggled to follow and he was taller than her.

"Agent Keberling. The newest agent."

"Shattering sapphires. What possible motive could someone have to murder Agent Keberling?" Agent Potash murmured. Sammy trailed them down the corridor.

"No idea. Do you want the good news now?"

"Yes, please."

"You're the new Ikrrr."

Potash stopped short and the other agent nearly bumped into her. "What?" Potash blurted.

"The vote has been made. You are most suited to be the new Ikrrr."

Potash's deep brown eyes were wide. She looked as if she'd stopped breathing. And then she recovered and continued striding down the hallway. "Thank you for informing me. My first actions will be to thoroughly investigate the deaths of the previous Ikrrr and Agent Keberling."

"Of course."

"Get me the results from forensics and any and all eyewitness testimony. Then we'll make sure the head of security goes through with his plan to upgrade the vent defenses. And then..." Potash rattled off a long list of things to do.

The poor agent just nodded, and looked a little lost. "Yyyyyyyyes ma'am."

"Using your powerful position already are you, warlord?" Mid asked as the agent went off.

"Warlord Potash. I rather like the sound of that." Potash shrugged. "Someone needs to keep the order in this place. I might as well."

Mid nodded.

"No dying, understood Ikrrr Potash?" Sammy told her. He'd lost too many people he'd looked up to.

Potash smiled. "Noted, Sammy. I'll take dying off my to-do list."

Mid put his hands on Potash's shoulders, with a fully serious face. "You die, and I will become a stupid sack of meat and bones. I'll be brain dead."

Potash made as if to scoff, then looked at his expression. "...Well, we wouldn't want that to happen. No dying, then. You better not die either, Agent Midnight. Or you, Sammy. The agency would be wretched without you two."

"Hey, you've got my brother. I'm sure you wouldn't even be able to tell if I died if he took my place."

Potash put her hands on Sammy's shoulders, so the three of them formed an awkward triangle with one side open. "Your brother cannot distinguish lithium from potassium. We need you, Sammy. Banish that self-doubt, or I will punch it away for you."

Sammy laughed. He was warmed by that down to the core. "Thanks Potash."

She nodded and removed her hands, then looked pointedly at Mid's hands still on her shoulders. He removed his hands. Potash nodded again, back to business. "I've got a lot of work to do. See you two in a month."

"See you. Keep in touch." Sammy replied, nodding.

The burn was better. Less noticeable, at least. That was perfect, since Mari was called to Potash's office the day following the murder. She was instantly on red alert.

"Hello, Mari." Potash was sitting in her chair, her back straight as an iron rod.

"Hello, Agent Potash. Or, should I say, Ikrrr Potash? That's what the sign outside the door says." Mari cautiously took a seat. Surely she wasn't a suspect.

"Yes. I was... recently promoted, due to the death of the previous Ikrrr that I'm sure you know about." Was that a hint of suspicion? Potash continued before Mari could tell for sure. "Now, Sammy has informed me that the two of you discovered Skater's mask on your excursion to Garnet-13. Is this correct?"

Mari jolted in her seat. "Yes, that's right. We... we talked to Assistant Director Poutine about it."

"And the Assistant Director failed to inform anyone else." Potash said disapprovingly. "Is there anything else you two failed to mention?"

Mari thought back to that day. "No. Just the samples we're working on in the lab."

Potash stared at her for a long moment, and Mari hid her apprehension and stared back. Finally, Potash nodded. "Thank you, Mari. That's all."

Mari smiled. "Good to see you, Ikrrr Potash. We should get tacos again sometime. Hopefully without getting shot at."

Potash smiled faintly. "Yes, when I need a break from my mountains of work. Goodbye, Mari."

Mari waved and left, relieved.

When she entered her room, she could immediately tell that something was amiss. For one, there was a letter on her desk-- one she couldn't recall ever having seen before.

Marisol and Ilias.
You are enemies of the ROMEOs. Watch yourselves, we aren't finished here.

Mari stared at the letter for a second. Then she marched to Ilias's room. Ilias opened the door, and indeed he was wearing a turtleneck. He didn't look bad, in fact he kinda looked hot- Temperature-wise, of course.

"Did you get this letter?" Mari held it up. "Also, can I come in?"

"What letter? Yeah, come on in."

Mari entered, then spread the letter out on the table and waited as Ilias read it. Ilias kept a stoic face.

"Prank? Warning? Threat?" Mari examined the paper. "Standard printer paper. I might sneak into the lab to analyze it, but I doubt it'll tell me anything. The paper's not unique."

"Not a prank. Elohel said he was part of the ROMEOs. It's a threat. Meaning they're going to do their best to kill us."

"Well, what else is new?" Mari frowned at the paper. "Though I suppose it'll be different being targeted by an entire organization. Perhaps we could slip a hint about the ROMEOs to Potash or Mid? But without implicating ourselves... Hm."

"I don't see how we could."

Mari thought for a moment. "Me neither. Then we look for ways to avoid them for now. But considering they were able to reach my room... the words on the paper aren't the only message." They weren't safe. ROMEO was always watching. That was the real message. Ilias got up and started checking around his room.

Mari examined the ink on the paper. Standard ballpoint pen ink. She memorized the handwriting. Long downwards strokes on the 'y's and 'g's, rather narrow, rarely dotted 'i's.

An audible crunch came from her right. She snapped her head around. "What was that?"

"Bug." He held up it's crushed corpse.

"Ah." Mari thought for a moment, then tapped on the table. We need a new code.

Agreed. With what?

Numbers? Mari found a piece of paper and started scribbling down the digits from 0 to 9.

Zero... with open hand? Then tap the rest?

Mari nodded. Could type in morse code, or Circulian numerals

No. Don't think in normal, already created terms. We need something completely new.

Right then. Our own system it is. Mari grabbed another pen for Ilias. On the paper, she wrote, "More dots for 1, maybe. Fewest for 9."

How about we keep the tapping simple, but have multiple letters per number. Only people who are familiar with the make of the code can decypher it.

Mari nodded. She started writing down letters corresponding to numbers. Next to them, Ilias wrote taps.


0 - o; 1 tap, open hand
1 - i, j, l; 1 tap, 1 finger
2 - h, n, u; 2 tap, 2 fingers
3 - e, m, w; 3 tap, 3 fingers
4 - a, t; 4 tap, 4 fingers
5 - s, f; 1 tap, Fist
6 - b, p; 4 tap, 1 finger
7 - r, v, y; 3 tap, 2 fingers
8 - k, z, x; 2 tap, 3 fingers
9 - d, g, q; 1 tap, 4 fingers

Mari surveyed the sheet, then started tapping. 4 taps with 4 fingers, 3 taps with 3 fingers, 1 tap with a fist, 4 taps with 4 fingers.

Ilias stared at the sheet, decoding her tapping. 2 taps with 2 fingers twice, 1 tap with 4 fingers, 3 taps with 3 fingers, 3 taps with 2 fingers, 1 tap with a fist, 4 taps with 4 fingers, 1 tap with open hand twice, 1 tap with 4 fingers.

Mari smiled.

Needs improvement. He tapped in morse code, and then spoke out loud. "By the way, you never have told me, what friendship level am I currently on?"

Yes. "Possibly by adding another letter to 0, and making the more common letters quicker to tap." Mari looked at Ilias contemplatively. "So, you did help me with my first time in the astral plane, which got you to four. But then you had the egregious opinion of hot dogs being squaricanized tacos and you refused my bread roll, which dropped you to three. However, getting shot at together is quite the bonding experience."

Mari stared at him, then decided, "When you're at your best and not being annoying, you're at a five. For context, it usually takes at least a few months to reach that level, so you're not doing too shabbily for yourself."

"Well, like you said. Being shot at is quite the bonding experience. I'd say your also a level 5. If we're doing things in your scale of friendship, I'd say I have 3 more levels. One for family, one of really close people I'd trust with anything, and one that is reserved for only one person in particular."

"Fair enough." Mari nodded. "My system is always evolving. Roughly, there are likely also around eight levels, but it branches off with each level including classifications depending on factors such as longevity of the relationship, similar interests... I'm thinking of expanding it to decimals as well." She blinked. "Anyhow, that's off track." What do we do about the letter? she tapped in their new code.

How many different types of ink is there? He responded back in the same code after taking a few minutes to decode.

Mari thought, decoded, then stared at the paper. Many. This seems to be fountain pen bc varying thickness. Likely expensive.

There's only 4 ruling families that use fountain pens.

Oh? I recall the Burgers are fond of history and antiques, but which others?

The Musubis, Baby-Back-Ribs, and Tilapias.

Alright. That narrows it down a little. Mari looked at the letter and pursed her lips. For now, I suppose we stay alert. We can act when we have more information.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Mid's voice rang out. "Got a pizza?"

Ilias hissed and threw the papers into the nearest drawer in the kitchen before walking to the door while relaxing his expression.

Mari got out the coin and started spinning it on the table.

"I'm craving pizza," Mid continued. Ilias opened the door.

"We do not have pizza, so unless you have one you're willing to share since pizza does sound good, I suggest finding Potash. She might have one on hand."

Mid did a twirl, showing off his sparkly blue wizard hat. "Excellent idea indeed, my good sir. Care to join a lonely wizard on his stroll in search of pizza?"

"The lonely wizard requires some human companions? Where's your elves and dwarves?"

"The elves are currently waging war against space pollution and the dwarves are busy crafting warhammers in preparation for either Ragnarok or the next world war," Mid said pleasantly. "You two humans are my last resort!"

Mari rolled her eyes, then shrugged. "I mean, pizza does sound pretty good."

"We shall join your quest. No need to bring out the 500-page long contract, we know what we're getting into."

Mid flourished his floppy sleeves. "Wonderful!" Then he pranced onto a wall and danced down the hallway.

Ilias looked at Mari. Mari raised her eyebrows, then followed Mid. Ilias walked on a wall next to her.

A few minutes later, Mid stood on the ceiling in front of Potash's door. He knocked and asked, "Got a pizza?"

Suddenly the wall Potash's door was on became the floor, and all fell onto that wall. Except for Ilias, who was already standing on it.

Mari crawled over to the doorknob and twisted it, then hung onto the door as it swung open. She waved to Potash, who was picking herself up from the opposite wall from the entrance. "Hi there. We're going on a pizza run. Wanna come?"

Potash blinked up at her. "Well, seeing as standing on the wall makes working rather inconvenient, I suppose I'm inclined to join you."

Mid fist-pumped. "Yes!"

Potash jumped and caught the door to haul herself into the hallway. As she strolled towards the exit, she started rattling off a list of pizza places. "So there's one that opened recently on Citrine-5, and there's a great place specializing in fusion pizza on Sapphire-3..."

"Well, we've now got our guide who knows every fine grain of dirt and resturaunt in the plane." Ilias said. "Let's get on with the quest."

He despised this turtleneck sweater. Loathed it. But he dealt with it because he still had burns, some of them being 2nd degree burns. Tolerance or no tolerance, when your entire body is covered in burns it hurts. He felt like the universe's punching bag. Made to withstand a good amount of punches, but with someone who's hardcore they'll punch him so hard he'll tear and fall while spilling his guts out. Especially in the last few weeks.

Currently, he was walking on the side of businesses, along with everyone else. Well except Mid. He was walking on the ground. Because of course he was.

"So," said Mari, apparently trying to start a conversation. "It's been an eventful couple of weeks. And yes, this is an understatement."

Ilias gaped at her. "You. Don't. Sayyyyy."

Potash snorted.

"Actually, I do say. I also say I'd like some updates on what's currently going on in the agency. Congrats to Potash on her recent promotion, and to the both of you, how are you holding up?"

"The voting for a new director is coming up in a few hours, so we should get back before then." Mid replied.

Mari looked at Mid. "Sure. Are either of you on the ballot?"

"I've already been promoted to the Ikrrr, and that's busy enough right now." Potash replied. "There's Roberto's pizza, and The Leaning Tower of Pizza..."

"What about you Mid?" Ilias asked. "You think about running?"

"I'm quite content with walking, actually." Mid grinned, his wizard hat flopping to the side.

Potash rolled her eyes. "Yes, he's on the ballot."

"You're actually going for it? Also, Potato, who goes to a place called the Leaning Tower of Pizza? That's the corniest pizza place name I've ever heard."

"Well, is it any better than a vaguely New Circulean name followed by an apostrophe, an 's', and a 'Pizza'? And it's Ikrrr Potash, not Potato." She fixed him with a cold stare. "Potatoes are root vegetables. Potash is not."

Mari laughed. "I think potatoes are quite noble foods, Ikrrr Potato."

"Potatoes are noble, and healthy, assuming you don't load it up with butter." Ilias agreed. Well, he was doing it just to annoy Potash.

"I prefer mashed potatoes," said Mari. "With some butter. Or scalloped potatoes, or sweet potatoes... Cracks and shards, I'm getting hungry."

"Mashed potatoes are good tasting." He nodded. "According to the health book I read in school, it wasn't healthier than a potato loaded with butter though."

"Tsk tsk. Unfortunate. Why must the wants and needs of the stomach always be in opposition? What a pity." Mari shook her head.

"What tastes good is bad for you, and what is good for you tastes bad. It's quite a pity. Makes me wonder why I'm not fat yet. Maybe it's the explosions that keep happening every week."

"Ah yes, running from random assasins is one way to burn calories. Not one I'd recommend, but fairly effective."

"Yes, apparently it is. Helps get in some more muscle too."

"Screaming is a bonus. Your lungs get extra exercise."

"Yes, and you build callouses on your vocal chords."

Mari looked at him. "...Sure. Next you'll say the air gets a massage from the sound waves passing through it, huh?"

"Exactly! Now we're both on the same track of thoughts." He grinned.

She groaned. "I'm being corrupted. Someone give me a full reboot."

"Sure, why don't we just ask someone to set off an explosion in our face? Or maybe Potash has a taser."

"No tasers on me right now, but the Leaning Tower of Pizza is coming up right in front of us. Perhaps eating a good old pizza pie would do the trick?"

"A shot in the foot works too. But pizza would be a better option."

The gravity of the astral plane shifted again to its previous state, making the ground actually the ground. Ilias hit the ground, and all the air exited his lungs. He stood up, rubbing his spine.

Mari groaned. "Or make the gravity change again and throw us to the wall-- wait, the ground. Yep, that works too. I think I've been sufficiently un-Iliased now."

In front of them, a crystalline tower of pizza boxes leaned to the right, pointing towards the entrance of the Leaning Tower of Pizza.

"Well, that's anticlimatic."

Potash pointed upwards. "How's that?" The entire building listed towards the left side, nearly touching the top of the adjacent one.

"It looks like a disaster in the making," Mari commented.

"It would be better if it was an arch."

"With a keystone carved like a pizza slice."

"Don't forget the pepperoni to be carved out of it."

"Of course."

"Tough crowd." Potash tsked, then made her way through the entrance. Ilias followed, hands in pockets.

The interior of the restaurant was dimly lit and the chatter of diners filled the place. Soft music played from hidden speakers and the scent of cheese and dough wafted by. A host greeted them, then a waiter quickly led them to a table in the corner. Ilias got in the center of the circular seat that went around the table, of course. Mid sat on the ceiling. Potash rolled her eyes and slid into the seat, and Mari placed herself next to Potash, at the edge.

"So, favorite pizza?"

"Extra virgin olive oil, creamy sauce, mushrooms, sliced onions, spinach, dollops of ricotta cheese, and a drizzling of balsamic vinegar," Potash listed out. "Oh, and a sprinkling of chopped walnuts. On a thick crust. Baked until the cheese is golden brown but not burnt."

"That- is very specific." Ilias nodded, impressed.

"Yes. It's a shame that most places can't get it exactly right. I'll have to test this one." Potash clasped her hands on the table.

"Alright. Great!" Ilias smiled cheerfully. "And let's not scare away this place's customers if the food is good."

"Whyever not?" Mari asked. "If there are no other customers, we'll be served quicker. It's strategic."

"Yes, but if they don't have enough people, they sort of run out of business."

"You're rich, aren't you?"

"I don't give that big of a tip to keep an entire business afloat, jeez."

"Okay, then just poach the chefs away from the business. Hire one as your private chef and invite us all over for pizza nights."

"Assuming the food is good."

"True." Mari looked at the menu. "Alright, golden potato pizza or basil-tomato-garlic pizza?"

"You take one, I'll take the other."

"Okay, golden potato it is." Mari smiled. "What about you, Mid?"

"I'll take a margarita."

Agent Potash gave him a look.

"What? I'm thirsty and it's the only good looking thing on this menu."

"How about you have some margarita pizza as well then, hmm? As the Ikrrr, I do believe I outrank you, and I say our employees won't go hungry on my watch."

"I ate 5 tacos, 5 bread rolls, and 2 pieces of garlic bread when I was in the building. Also, I don't think your new ranking qualifies when we aren't working." Mid counted on his fingers.

"The Ikrrr is always the Ikrrr. It becomes a part of one's being. A part of one's soul."

"You've been in that position for what, 5 hours? Plus I might outrank you in a few hours."

"Hmmm. We'll see. You do have to make that speech first."

"Who are the other candidates for director?" Mari asked curiously.

"Marcell, Kylette, Kyleett, Kyleson... I think that was it? Wait no, Kyleter." Mid counted off.

"That's... a lot of Kyles." Ilias noted.

Mari raised an eyebrow. "Are they related in any way? Surely those names aren't a coincidence."

"That's what I'm wondering." Ilias agreed.

"Kyleett used to be named something else and was best friends with Kylette, but when Kyleett ripped off Kylette's name, they had a falling out." Potash's tone was like that of someone giving an informative report.

"Huh. What possessed this Kyleett to change their name?"

"Apparently the coolness factor of names starting with Kyle was 10.913 times higher than their original name."

"Huh. Ooookay."

The waiter finally arrived at their table. "Good evening. My name is Kyle, and I'll be your waiter tonight. Are you ready to order, or would you like some more time?"

Ilias just sort of hit his head on the table. This was hilarious. He heard the silverware shift as the table bounced. His head didn't even hurt.

"What would you estimate the coolness factor of your name to be?" Mari asked, barely keeping in her laughter.

The waiter looked at them and blinked. A snort escaped Ilias. "...Your orders, please?" Kyle finally said.

Potash cleared her throat and listed their orders.

Ilias peeled his forehead off of the table. He just couldn't keep a straight face with this. "But seriously, what would you estimate the coolness factor of your name to be?"

"I..." Kyle looked like he desperately wanted to leave but was forced to stay due to a sense of professionalism. "I don't know... three, I suppose?"

"Three out of?"

"Ten?" Kyle glanced around for an escape.

"What would you consider one, and what would you consider ten?"

"I'm sorry, but I have other tables to attend to." Kyle didn't look sorry.

"Hey! I swear this is the last question. Please?" Ilias put on his best pleading look.

"Fine, fine! Bord would be a one, and Syzalin would be a ten."

"Great! Thanks. 10 out of 10 on this waiter's service right here." Ilias grinned.

Kyle breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Well, I'm glad to hear that. Now, I really must see about the other tables. Have a good meal." He fast-walked off.

Ilias leaned back, and looked at the other 3. Mid was writing something on a notepad. Mari craned her head to try to look.

"What are you up to Mid?" Ilias called.

"Good pun! I'm working on my speech. So far I have 'vote for me, lol bai'."

Potash rolled her eyes. "Somehow you managed to pronounce 'bai' so that it's clearly distinguishable from 'bye.'"

"Of course! They are drastically different." Mid grinned. Ilias remembered these two when they were dragged out of the hospital. They seemed more friendly to each other he noted.

"But will either version help you win the most votes?"

"I think 'bai' would work much better. Very moving."

"Very hip. Very cool with the kids," Potash said dryly.

"Yes! I think I am well prepared."

Potash rolled her eyes.

"I'll vote for you," Mari piped up.

"So would I!" Ilias grinned. Mid grinned back.

"A whole two votes. Wow, your victory is practically guaranteed."

"Well, it's moral boosting. I'm sure it'll move everyone else."

Potash looked highly skeptical, but was distracted by the arrival of three steaming-hot pizzas.

Ilias started eating immediately.

"Hm. A solid seven out of ten," Potash remarked. "The cheese is slightly burnt and the crust isn't soft enough. Olive oil is good, though."

"At least it's clean." Ilias said through a mouthful of pizza.

"That should be a basic requirement." Potash sniffed.

"I've seen places that aren't."

"Then that's an immediate zero out of ten. Negative one if you get food poisoning."

"Oh I did. I don't rate the experience to be fun either."

"The potato pizza is pretty good," Mari commented. "Tastes clean. I think it's the lemon."

"Mine's good." Ilias added. "Could use some more salt though."

"Do parmesan cheese or red pepper flakes work as a substitute?" Mari pointed at the containers on the table. "Or hot sauce. They have mustard here too, for some reason?"

"I said salt, not spice."

"How about saltiness? I'm sure there's a person being salty around here somewhere."

"Uh huh. I'm anti-human meat. Sorry."

"What about human tears? Those are salty."

"Who here is crying?"

"If you make a terrible enough joke, I will."

"Alright. When does a dad joke become a dad joke?"

"...When?"

He grinned. "When it becomes apparent."

Mari stared at him. "Wow." She sobbed out a single tear and flicked it onto his pizza. "There you go. Salt."

Ilias took a bite where the tear landed. He chewed thoughtfully. It did taste better, so he nodded.

"You realize you could have just flagged the waiter down and asked for salt?" Potash said.

"Hey, we got a dad joke out of it," Mid replied.

"Yeah. A good one."

"I beg to differ."

"Hey, I got a tear, didn't I?"

"Yeah. Cuz it was awful."

"I still got a tear. Made the pizza wonderful."

Mari raised an eyebrow. "Well, glad my cringe-induced agony was helpful."

"Very. How many more tears can I get?"

"Depends on how hydrated I am."

"And how hydrated are you?"

Mari guzzled her glass of water. "More hydrated now."

"Great. Give me those tears."

"I feel like I should be getting paid for this. You can't just extort those tears out of me."

"Sure, I'll pay you later."

"How much, and how much later is later?" Mari asked suspiciously.

"It'll be a decent amount, and later is soon enough."

"Very vague. But fine." Mari forced herself to cry and dripped tears onto the pizza.

"Yes! Thank you."

Mari sniffed and dabbed at her eyes with a napkin. She finished another slice of her pizza.

Ilias continued to eat his pizza, which was soaked with Mari's tears.

Potash worked her way through her pizza, seemingly considering each flavor carefully.

Something in the atmosphere of the room changed. A few restaurant patrons started to whisper to each other. Then a group of old men stood up.

"Hm. I think we might have trouble." Mid said from the ceiling, still looking at his notepad.

"We are Retired Old Men Eating Out, and you have gravely offended us!" the center man declared. His graying hair was scruffy and he had more frown wrinkles than smile wrinkles. Behind him, a few families who were almost done dining hurriedly finished up and left.

Ilias leaned back, crossing his arms. Then decided to grab another slice of pizza. "That, was not intimidating. You've got to work on your phrasing. Just keep it as the ROMEOs."

"Yes. The acronym is fine, but no one can take you seriously when you say what it stands for." Mari stuffed another bite of pizza into her mouth.

"I'm dying of laughter on the inside. That's a great way to kill me, although it is fast and painless."

"Yep, I've heard dying of laughter isn't a bad way to go out."

The man to the left of the first speaker growled. "We'll make you die on the outside too. Just you wait! We'll have our revenge!"

"Alright, that's a little better. You should smile. That makes it much more terrifying."

A crazed grin crept onto the man's face, and he lunged for Ilias. The others crowded around Mari and Potash. Mid was apparently forgotten about.

Potash tsked and pulled out some crystals. She tossed a tiger's eye stone at them, and it released a blast that roared at the old men as it pushed them back. Tables and chairs clattered onto the floor. The restaurant manager looked on in horror, then hurried off, dialing the authorities.

Ilias rolled off to one side, letting the man crash into the table and seat. "Great, that was more terrifying. Good lunge, but don't lunge from so far away. I could have walked away in slow-mo and still escaped."

Potash's blast blew the old man right towards Ilias, and both went down rolling on the ground. From what he could see, Mid was yelling indignantly as he jumped into a crowd of the men, and Mari was punching a guy in the face. Nice punch, he was pretty sure he heard a crunch. Now, to get rid of the old man. He could get rid of the guy easy. But he didn't want to give anything away to the agents.

And unfortunately, while the attackers were all geriatric, there were more of them. A few others joined the fray, apparently from a further table. Just how many ROMEOs were there? There must have been over a dozen in this place, and the restaurant wasn't built to handle that many patrons in a scuffle. The new wave also had actual weapons. Super. Well, that covered it. He tossed off the old man.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mari getting shoved into what seemed to be a freezer, of all things. That wasn't good. But before he could see any more, an old man with an antique dagger stabbed at him. Out of reflex, he dodged it. Still sharp. He heard a thud. Not like a body falling or a rock against someone's skull. More like a door being closed. "Did a group of old guys rob a museum? Like come on, that's history not a child's toy."

Good part about not wearing a mask, he could quip all he wished. Bad part was he didn't want to give himself away, so he feigned inexperience and extremely good luck.

"This is an artifact that has been passed down in my family for generations! It is my right to use it!" Old Dagger Guy declared.

"Yeah, okay. One, it's old. It'll probably crumble to bits just by me flicking it. Two, you should take better care of it. I can see rust on it. You'll give me or yourself tetanus." Old Dagger Guy didn't like that, and attack even more viciously. Ilias was already getting tired of playing around.

A couple steps away from him, Potash neatly incapacitated two old guys with precise strikes to the head. She turned towards him as Old Dagger Guy screamed and stabbed at Ilias as if using a fork to stab at a stubborn grape that kept rolling away. Ilias continued to dodge. He pointed towards where he remembered the freezer to be in the back and yelled. "Mari needs a little more help I think!"

Potash nodded and ducked around a ROMEO, sprinting over to the freezer. Meanwhile, the ODG became more and more enraged. He was getting tired of thinking out the entire thing. "Stop flopping around like a slimy fish!"

"Ew! I'm not slimy. I'm far from perfect but I'm not that." At the next jab he slapped the blade out of the ODG's hand.

The ODG's face turned a concerning shade of red and he lunged at Ilias, fists swinging. Mid did something behind Ilias and three other old guys went flying past in Ilias's peripheral vision, landing across the restaurant. Fine, Ilias would bring his game up a notch. Ilias caught the guy's fists and slammed his head into the ODG's head. His opponent fell, but not without causing Ilias to see spots. Ow. A blue spot merged into a golden spot and- Ilias shook away the dizziness.

Potash was dragging a half-frozen Mari out of the freezer. She was shivering and had a beard of icicles. Mid was dispatching the last few ROMEOs. Ilias decided to go over and help Mid.

Mid danced on the ceiling, then abruptly kicked a ROMEO in the head. One of the last two remaining ROMEOs tossed a frying pan up at Mid.

"Hey Mid! Throw me that pan!" He called.

Mid gracefully caught the pan, flipped it around his wrist, then tossed it to Ilias. Admirable, almost like Ilias' own skill. He caught it in one hand and as one of the remaining old men lunged for him he sidestepped and whacked the man with the frying pan. Before the guy hit the ground Ilias chucked the frying pan in the direction of the last guy. Mid dropped a live chicken at the same time, ending with the frying pan decking the last guy and the chicken settling softly onto his prone figure. It clucked and wandered off. Ilias surveyed the unconscious bodies that littered the place. One seemed to be stirring, so he took the frying pan and whacked the guy. Hopefully he wouldn't have to play whack-a-ROMEO for too long.

"So much for trying to not scare away customers."

"C-can we hire the ch-chefs now?" Mari had wiped away the icicle beard, but she was still shivering slightly. "Also, that fr-freezer smelled like pizza, so I guess it wasn't all bad."

"I didn't get stabbed, so all's good here." He picked up the rusty old dagger the one old dude had.

"Good job not getting stabbed."

Potash strode over to speak with the owner of the restaurant. Mid picked up his chicken.

"So, did you have that in your pants the entire time?" Ilias asked him. The blade was nice. Just needed a good clean and sharpening.

"No, I have an encrypted connection to the chicken dimension. Sometimes my counterpart there sends me a chicken."

"Useful. What do you send him?"

"Yep. I send her eggcellent puns. Also some crystals sometimes. Chickens have teeth there and apparently chunks of quartz are a good snack."

"Huh. Okay." He didn't want to know what that chicken could do with bones. Crush them, probably.

Potash returned. "We'll have to take the ROMEOs into custody. I suppose the new Director will want to know who could be bold and foolhardy enough to stage an attack like this."

"Have you even ever heard of this group?" Ilias asked.

"I haven't, so I'm pretty sure I haven't done them any wrongdoings." Mid started to pet the chicken.

Mari innocently picked up her last slice of pizza and ate it. Potash sighed and started handcuffing the ROMEOs. She muttered, "So much for a break from work."

"Give me some of those." Ilias held out his hand.

Potash gave him a stack of five handcuffs.

"I'll need some more."

"Are they really all going to be used for handcuffing the ROMEOs?" Potash snapped on more handcuffs with efficient clicks.

"Yes. I'm not like that. Jeez."

Potash rolled her eyes and dropped more handcuffs into his hands. Good enough. he started handcuffing a group of the ROMEOs, sort of into one cluttered mass.

Potash stared. "And how do you suggest we bring that mess back to headquarters?"

"Get a van. Lay them in the back. Or have them walk all the way."

Mari facepalmed. "I don't think marching a group of old guys through the astral plane would be a great look for us, even if they did attack us first."

"Fine, a van it is. You'll still get their complaints though."

"Being complained at is better than letting them go and having their superiors try again, with better-trained attackers the next time." Potash snapped on the last handcuff.

"Agreed."

From the doorway to the kitchen, Kyle called, "S-so, do you want your leftovers boxed up?"

"Please and thank you good waiter. We're sorry to create such a mess in your resturaunt." Mid said from the ceiling. The chicken had disappeared.

"Yes, well, you could make up for it by giving us a five star rating?" he asked hopefully. "Or a donation. These repairs will be costly."

"Shall do!"

Kyle nodded and quickly boxed up the pizza leftovers. And then they left to rent a van. Well, Ilias was going to stay behind to watch the fellows until the van arrived. He held the frying pan in one hand. And he was left to his own thoughts.

Potash got the ROMEOs safely deposited in AD Poutine's office and left her humming there. It was her problem now, though of course, Potash would check in often. She was curious why exactly the ROMEOs had decided to attack them. And was she being overly suspicious, or had neither Ilias nor Mari looked entirely surprised at the ROMEOs? Possibly they had gotten used to being attacked after that other assassination attempt... She'd have to take them to therapy sometime.

Now, however, it was time for speeches. Potash seated herself in the second row with a good view of the stage and each candidate's face. Mid was last. Of course. Probably last minute making himself a speech.

Marcell was first. Potash swallowed a yawn as he yammered on. It wasn't horrible, but it was a little cliche with the "Transparency and the employees' well-being are my first priority, and I will balance that with maximum progress towards our agency's goals" and yada yada yada unrealistic promise here, slightly concerning vagueness there, etcetera.

Kyleett's speech was practically a rip-off of Kylette's. Kyleter's was better, more realistic and well-thought-out. The plans actually seemed feasible and reasonable. If Mid didn't pull out something stunning, Potash was going to vote for Kyleter.

Mid hopped up off of his seat, and unlike everyone else, he dressed just how he usually did which was under what was expected of agents.

"Vote for me. That's my speech, bye." He smiled. Hidden in the audience, Potash raised an eyebrow. "Kidding, kidding. You all know me one way or another, but most people here in this facility have talked with me at least a few times, some of you are even friends. But you all get the general idea of me. Some of you might think I'm running just because I was related to someone who was in the position. You should know, that just because one sibling can do something, doesn't mean the others can. I knew a family where one kid was very talented in music, but none of the others ever joined band. That's getting a little off topic but you get the gist. Back to the point."

In the audience, a few listeners shifted in their seats. Potash kept watching Mid. He paced a little, and his voice projected to the crowd well.

"Have you ever met someone who didn't like their job? How was that, to listen to them complain non-stop about it? If you don't enjoy your job, you don't perform it well. You hate everything that you do. That sounds miserable, and that person has a very unhappy life. I will perform my duties happily, which might include some skips and twirls. The reason so is because I care. I talk to everyone so that I can get to know you a little bit. Remember you."

Darkness, Potash thought. That's actually pretty good. Genuine, at least.

"I care, because I care about you, and everything about this branch. We're good at what we do because we care. Nothing can work if the people do not work, and whether you realize it or not all of you are the core of the branch. Without you, we wouldn't exist. We wouldn't be performing this vital role that we are today. You are my priority."

Potash leaned back in her seat. Mid had the right emotions down, but before she or some of the others would vote for him... She raised her hand. He looked at her expectantly, "yes Ikrrr Potash?"

"That's all well and good, but what are your specific policy ideas? In more detailed terms, what exactly do you plan to either keep the same or change about this agency?" There. She'd given him an opening to talk about more concrete plans, which, if taken advantage of, could sway others to his side. As for Potash... well, as Darkness would have it, she was actually inclined to root for him. Must've been visited by the Fool recently. Not Lightness-- she rather thought it was a good kind of crazy, and not the Lightness-touched kind.

"I plan to make a change in our security for one. They're great guys, but they lack the enthusiasm and the willingness to work hard. I spoke to the captain of the force, and I'm quite sure stubble and a beer belly does not give you the feeling that our security is top-notch as we used to take pride in."

Ah, now that was something Potash could support wholeheartedly.

"I would also like to work on our teams. Some of you are great, everyone knows each other and none of you are plotting to kill the other, maybe a prank. Others suffer from discord, which is where most of our fighting comes from. If you can't work in a team, that is not the career you should go with. Find something else. Oh! Three people leaving the room already! Good, hope you guys find something better. If something happens in a group, I will not hesitate to strand all of you in the group on a tiny rock until you solve your own problems. If you need a middle man, I will step up to the job, but I will not solve your problems for you. I plan to make sure the teams go through exercises together to build their relationships. I'll even shoot at you myself if it'll do the job."

The wording was classic Mid, but Potash could support the ideas behind them. She glanced around the audience, most of which seemed at least partially engaged in the speech.

"Yes, Agent Mirando?" He focused on a man near the middle, a few rows behind Potash. He was dressed in a crisp black-and-white suit, a bit like a dapper penguin.

"I'll vote for you if you make the cafeteria bring back every flavor ice cream. Especially spears-and-swords mint and jazzicus electrobass maximus."

"That will come back, and be a part of team exercises. I've tested it out myself and the facts conclude that this is quite a good way for a team to bond."

"Wonderful. Mid for Director!"

"Any more questions?" Mid asked, holding his head up as he looked around to see if anyone else had questions.

It didn't appear that anyone had further comments or wonderings.

"I suggest talking with the people around you. It's a good start. Thank you." He walked back to join the other candidates, who walked off of the stage to let the people vote.

Potash used her sunstone to vote, then left to go find Mid.

She found him in the cafeteria, sitting on the ceiling. She craned her neck upwards. "Hello, Mid. That was a good speech." Potash gave a small smile.

He grinned. "Both you and I know I half-Fooled it. But to reach this crowd I decided emotional argument would be best."

"And I think it worked. Of course, we'll have to wait for the results to come out tomorrow."

"Ah, such a far away time! I should be getting back to the regular plane though."

"Well, then time will pass faster for you. Good luck on your mission." Potash nodded up at Mid.

"Midnightravenguard The Glorious takes his leave to infiltrate a group led by psychotic maniacs plotting to destroy the world!" He pulled out a cape from his wizard hat, and attached it to his shirt.

Potash blinked. "...What a... lovely cape." Leave it to Mid to go all superhero in the middle of the cafeteria. "At least you don't have a raven beak." She immediately regretted saying that.

"Good idea!" He pulled out a plague doctor mask and put it on. "Better?"

Yep, she definitely regretted it. "Goodbye, raven.. plague doctor... superhero... soon-to-be director person."

"Soon-to-be director? Well we don't know that yet now. Farewell Ikrrr Potash, my good friend who wasn't very fond of me a short while ago. I do grow on people."

"Like mold." But Potash smiled.

"Yes, but I'm more pleasant and no one goes to the trash because of me."

"Well, unless you put them there. It would be a very Mid-like thing to literally 'take out the trash' when being attacked."

"HA! You know it."

"Indeed. Now, I'd like to say I'm not trash, but I will take my leave. See you around."

"Keep in touch, don't let anyone die while I'm out. Especially our celebrity and scientist."

"Noted. I'll do my best."

"Until we meet again!" He skipped out of the cafeteria, still wearing his ridiculous clothing.

Then Potash left for her reunion with her paperwork. Oh, joy.

(1429 words)

Sammy still wasn't over the incident with Skater's mask. He couldn't even find any helpful prints.

And furthermore, there had been the murder of the new agent, Agent Keberling, which he knew Ikrrr Potash was still investigating. Potash, Mid, Ilias, and Mari had all returned yesterday sporting a few bruises--Mari said something about freezers--, apparently having been attacked while out for pizza. What was happening to the safety of this agency? Things hadn't been this crazy in at least five years, perhaps ever.

He'd voted for Mid for director, of course. Sammy knew the dude cared, and hopefully he could actually do something about security.

For now, Sammy finished checking in on Mari, who was able to work despite shivering every so often as if remembering an unpleasant experience, and headed towards Potash's office.

Her office looked like a mess, which kind of surprised him. He remembered her areas to always be nice and neat, except for the gym where the remains of a punching bag would lie.

Potash was literally buried in paper. Only the few stray hairs at the back of her bun were poking through the pile of paper on her desk-- wait. That was concerning. Usually her bun was flawless, as if it had been 3D-printed. Were those a few grey hairs on her head too? Sammy hesitantly knocked on the doorframe.

It took a few minutes. But then a hand lurched out of the paper like a zombie rising from the grave. There was a groan that also sounded rather zombie-like.

"Uh, please don't eat my brains." Sammy tried to joke.

"I'm afraid I do need a brain replacement. May I drink your brains instead?" Potash's head followed the hand as she dug herself out of the paperwork. She looked, to put it nicely, like Lightness had just dealt her some heavy damage.

"I'd like to keep my brains intact, thank you. Not going to lie though, you look like lightness ran you over 3 times.

"Great. Thanks for the compliment, because I feel like Lightness ran me over five times." Potash rubbed her eyes and tried (unsuccessfully) to smooth her bun. "What can I do for you?"

"I was just checking in with you. I haven't found anything useful in the investigation with Skater, except that he for sure has travelled through the vents. Also here's what I've gathered so far about Former Agent Keberling." He handed her a folder. He did feel bad to add more paper to this room.

Potash flipped through it. "Ah, excellent. Thank you." She rummaged through a pile of paper. It looked like a snowdrift. "Here is the rest of the investigation... I'll add these notes to it. So far, we've found that Former Agent Keberling apparently was involved in certain... revolutionary groups. The kind that doesn't take kindly to members leaving and joining the government."

"The JULIETs? What is this, a mintspeare play?"

Potash gave a tired laugh. "Apparently so. Had no idea revolutionary groups were a fan of classic literature. In any case, this information will all go to the new director to inform them of measures that need to be taken to improve security. I won't have us losing another agent."

"Out of curiousity, who'd you vote for?"

"Mid. You?"

"Same."

Potash sunk a few inches into the paper. "I'm shoving this paperwork onto the next director, regardless of who it is. Anything else for now, Sammy?"

"Yeah, I think you should get some sleep. In a proper bed."

"I can sleep when I'm dead. Right now, there's work to do."

"Nope. I'm a scientist. I might as well be a doctor. You should get sleep. I'll drag in a doctor to order you to sleep if I have to. We need you, but we need you to have a full battery."

"Plug me in to the nearest outlet. The electricity will keep me alert and functional. I've been called a robot enough for it to be partially true, probably..." Potash sorted through more papers and scribbled notes on one before chucking a different stack into the wastebasket.

"Nope. You're not a robot, you're a human. You've never been blocked by a verification test yet, so go on. I'll carry you if I have to." Lightness that sounded weird.

Potash rolled her eyes. "I can fail a test right now if I have to." She stopped for a second. "Unfortunately, it does appear that my lack of sleep is causing me to lose control of my conversational abilities. I suppose working while sleep deprived is like working while drunk... Fine, fine. I'll sleep for a short while." She pushed some papers aside and contorted herself to step out of the dead tree warzone.

"An actual bed Ikrrr!" He called after her as she walked down the hall.

"Noted, Scientist!"

"Doctor to you at the moment!"

"Fine, Doctor. You do realize your Ph.D. isn't in medical science."

"It's still biological and chemical. I did take classes on health."

Potash waved and gave no response as she turned the corner, hopefully to a proper bed and not an armchair with work next to it. He hummed to himself as he headed back to his lab. ROMEOs and JULIETs... maybe it would turn out like it did in the plays.

Mari's sunstone beeped with an incoming message from the agency. She clicked on it.

Dancing penguins filled the gem. "Heads up, agents! Your new director is Midnightravenguard the Glorious!" A raven croaked and flew across the surface of the gem.

Mari smiled. A whoop came from somewhere near her room. Sounded like Ilias.

Before she could go track down Mid and congratulate him, her sunstone beeped again. This time, no animals decorated the surface. Instead, a plain text message scrolled before her eyes.

Sapphire-6. 3 today. - JULIETs

Ilias knocked on her door, in morse code. Mari opened the door and held up her sunstone displaying the message. She quirked an eyebrow. He groaned, and then shut her door. Mari waited. He didn't knock or open the door. Mari rolled her eyes and left her room. Ilias was right there on the floor, covering his face with his hands.

Seems like we're popular with revolutionary groups, Mari tapped in their code. They'd updated it to use one or two taps for each number.

0 - o, y; 1 tap, open hand
1 - i, j, l; 2 tap, 1 finger
2 - h, n, u; 2 tap, 2 fingers
3 - e, m, w; 1 tap, 1 finger
4 - a, x; 2 tap, 4 fingers
5 - s, f; 1 tap, Fist
6 - b, p; 1 tap, 3 finger
7 - r, v, t; 1 tap, 2 fingers
8 - k, z; 2 tap, 3 fingers
9 - d, g, q; 1 tap, 4 fingers

No. Just no. I don't care if they oppose the ROMEOs. They'd probably find a way to get a truce just to kill us. Ilias tapped back, still covering his face with his hands. He just sort of peeked through a crack between his fingers.

Fair enough. But... curiousity... And the ROMEOs do owe us money. If the rumors of these groups being at odds with each other are true, perhaps the JULIETs can do something. Though it is a stretch.

Look, we've found out what happens when we went with the ROMEOs. They were going to kill us, expose us. Who's to say they won't do the same? Also, I didn't get a message, so I see no reason I need to go.

The ROMEOs are running around like Fool-infused quartyx pieces after we killed their leader, attacking trained agents right in the open. And I... Well, there's something bigger here. None of these groups may seem focused on their own, but if they are truly able to overturn the government... I need to know. I'm a scientist. Discovery is what I do. Mari leaned back against the wall. An agent passed by in the hallway.

Ilias waited for the agent to be completely out of sight before responding. Look, the two associate with each other in some way, whether it be good or bad. I don't see any positive outcomes to this.

Jealous you weren't invited? Mari smirked. Just kidding. I'll go, and we'll see if I learn anything useful. Keep mapping the agency while I'm gone, yeah?

Fine. Don't point at me if you die, yeah?

No worries. My skeleton will be too busy being dead to point a finger at you. Mari smiled.

I'm sure you'd still find a way.

...I probably would. Mari stood up and brushed off her suit. "See you at the dining hall tonight, hopefully." If I'm not there, say I had a family emergency and had to go to the physical plane.

"Yeah, alright, hopefully is reassuring." He tapped. Yeah, alright.

"It means be hopeful. You do know what that means, right?" She added, Thanks.

"Nope!" He tapped again, That was beaten senseless and buried in the back yard of my master.

Mari frowned and sat back down. Your... master? She knew he'd had a rough past, what with those scars and chemical resistance and all. Could this master have something to do with that? What kind of Lightness-touched person kills poor innocent hope?

He uncovered his face, his expression one of realizing a mistake. Whatever you call someone who shapes a person into a ruthless assassin.

So it wasn't a choice for you.

He was silent on that, impossible to read. But it was clear that she wasn't wrong.

Mari looked at him for a moment. It wasn't for me either. It was a family business, in my case. But... my mother never mistreated me beyond a hard sparring session. She paused, clenching her hand into a fist. Is your master still alive?

I don't know. He's hard to find, even for me.

My mother employs some of the top hackers in the world. If you want him beaten senseless and buried in your back yard, it'll only take a sunstone call.

Ilias just shook his head. He's not reachable by hackers. He's not connected to anything. Uses disposables if he does send messages through sunstones.

Then a trap of some sort. Or... it could be better to move on if he's sure not to harm you again. I don't know. Mari shifted her sitting position. Again, Ilias was quiet. What could she do? Was there even anything for her to do? Why did she want to do something?

She took a deep breath. Then, simply, she tapped out, I'm here.

Thank you. Don't you have a meeting to go to?

Ehhh. I have time. Plus, I can bribe the taxi driver to go faster.

Just don't be late.

Okay, okay. Going now. Jeez, it's not like you're Mr. Punctual all the time. Mari rolled her eyes and stood up. Funny how her feelings towards Ilias could flip in the matter of a few seconds. I'll talk to you later.

Better not be a call that you're dying.

Haha. No, it'll be a call from my ghost saying that I'm dead, telling you to leave some bread rolls on my grave.

I'll leave you a squarican taco.

No. Do not. I'll haunt you forever.

Good. I'd like the company. Oh and what I mentioned? Stays between you and me.

Of course. That's not even a question, unlike the quality of my company. I don't think you want me to haunt you and make you mess up the lyrics to all your songs by randomly shouting, "BANANA PEELS!"

Ah, well then I can be famous for being haunted among my other titles.

Oh, great. Yeah, I can see it. The Ghost King or something equally cheesy. I'll go before my imagination comes up with other horrible nicknames to torture my dreams with. Mari stood up. She'd probably be okay. Yeah. Of course, there was the small chance the JULIETs would try to kill her on sight or one of the astral plane's rare extreme weather phenomena would sweep through, but she'd likely survive. Right? See ya.

Yep.

And with that, she walked to her second meeting with revolutionaries. How fun.



Sapphire-6 was a small-to-medium sized rock. Half of it was covered by an amusement park. Mari assumed the meeting would take place on the non-inhabited half, so she waited in front of the obsidiamaple trees, where she had good visibility over most of the isle.

There was a man walking in the park, who was followed by a few others of both genders. Mari watched them. It was nearly 3 in astral plane time. They talked in hushed tones, eyeing Mari.

Well, JULIETs or random strangers or not, it could hurt very much to be friendly, but she was going to do it anyways. "Hey there!" she called. "Nice weather today, eh?"

She was met by awkward stares. "Er, yes, wonderful day today."

Mari smiled at them pleasantly. Probably not the JULIETs, if they didn't seem to recognize her. Unless they were faking it? "Hope you have a great time at the park."

"Yes. We shall, we're performing today. A classic play by Mintspeare."

"Oh, how wonderful! Best of luck on your performance."

"Thank you." The man smiled.

Mari waved as they walked on. It was 3 on the dot now. She glanced around. No one was there except for the performing group. Hang on... a classic play... She groaned and chased after them. "There's no way you're the JULIETs."

"Ah, you're Marisol." The man didn't seem surprised.

"Told you she'd get the hint!" Another guy said. The women seemed to be holding back groans.

Mari rolled her eyes. "It was obtuse and unnecessary. But, well, here we are. I'd appreciate it if you could get to the point with this meeting."

"Wow, very to the point. Efficient. Well, we're against the ROMEOs, which have tried to kill you previously. You're in a government branch who's on the investigation, and we'd like it if you'd share with us what they know about the ROMEOs."

"Ah. You are right that they tried to kill me... But other than revenge, why should I? What are your objectives and capabilities? Do you really have the ability to protect the people who work for you?"

"I would think someone who's getting paid would ask less questions. You don't see us lashing out, do you?"

"I don't know if any payment is high enough to make up for all the risks involved. How do I know you all won't turn on me like the ROMEOs? And I notice you haven't answered my questions about your objectives." Mari studied the group, noting any identifiable characteristics about them.

"We would like change to the government. Pretty much the same as the ROMEOs. We're just more organized, and sane." The man smiled. "For one, we oppose the ROMEOs. Two, all we want is a way to get information about the ROMEOs. There's not that much risk to it, is there?"

"Knowledge is power. Power to die." Mari thought she could recognize them if she saw them again. "You realize the government is very entrenched in its ways? How do I know you even have any chance of success?" She adopted the most skeptical expression she could.

"That's a secret for us to keep. We have our ways. You now know of us. You really have only two choices. Comply or die."

"Hey, that rhymes." Mari thought frantically underneath her joking exterior. She wasn't keen on dying today, but complying could just as easily mean death tomorrow, if the ROMEOs found out, or the agency found out, or the JULIETs thought she'd become a double-double agent or something. "I don't suppose choosing 'or' works as an option?"

"You're testing the limits. You've got 1 minute." One of the members opened a metal door in the ground, and people filed into the room.

"1 minute until what?" Mari said, still stalling. Comply for now seemed least likely to lead to immediate death, but if they required proof of commitment or some other induction into the group, that would be a very gnarly situation. Should she take her chances with refusing? She'd gotten some info out of this already and had ideas for leads.

"Will you do it, or not?" The man asked impatiently.

"I won't," Mari said. And she braced herself for whatever was to come. The man just simply nodded. Then followed everyone else, and closed the door behind him. It klunked at it locked. The temperature dropped.

The winds started to pick up. There was a flurry of confusion at the amusement park as people sought shelter. All Mari had time to think was, Oh, Lightness.

And then the storm hit.



Storms were a rare occurrence on the astral plane, but when they formed, they were devastating. There would only be a warning of a few minutes, for those most sensitive to the signs, before the storm arrived in all its destructive glory.

Mari had a front-row seat to that scene. Oh, joy.

The gravity flipped, flinging Mari into the dim, dusky sky, before fizzling out all together. She hung in mid-air for a moment, screaming, even though she knew anyone close enough to hear would not help.

The wind whooshed by, carrying her out of range of Sapphire-6 altogether. The last thing she wanted was for the storm to deposit her in the middle of nowhere, unable to reach a rock.

She passed through a current of heat and cringed as it baked her. It was hot... so hot... Irrationally, the only feeling she had was empathy for the potatoes she'd roasted a few weeks ago. Before the skin could burn off her face, the wind tossed her into a current of cold and she shuddered, remembering the freezer the ROMEOs had shoved her into. She lingered there longer. Her fingers felt like they were going to harden into useless icicles and she would never be able to conduct experiments again or write or make things or- Something approached her, but she couldn't quite make out what it was. Nevermind, as it got a little closer, it looked like part of a carousel.

Mari had stopped screaming. Her horror forced her into absolute silence as she watched the chunk of carousel approach rapidly. Too rapidly.

It wasn't the lack of gravity or the wind or even the currents that terrified her most. It was the fact that she had no control over anything. Anything at all except her thoughts, and even those she was losing her grip on.

It would hit her in a few seconds. She couldn't use her ingenuity to whip something together in time, and none of her potions would be strong enough or fast enough, and so she could not escape this sticky situation as she'd escaped others in the past. There was nothing she could do but exist for the precious little time she had left. She hated it.

The carousel part flew downwards, a disaster avoided. Mari didn't move for a few seconds. Then the wind picked her up again. She sucked in a breath. Apparently, the wind was both her attempted murderer and her savior. She still hated it.

The winds sped up. A fleck of paint sliced across her face, going fast enough to draw a very thin streak of blood. Isles spun in Mari's vision and she prayed to Darkness that she wouldn't smash into one of them. She passed through coldness and then heat again. Soaking wetness and dryness.

She was so very exhausted.

Something hit her shoulder and a searing pain remained even as it passed. Probably dislocated. Oh hey look- a rock! And oh, it was getting closer!

A final gust of wind smashed her onto a lawn; she stopped rolling at the shrubs. She thought a few ribs might be fractured, but she was dizzy and disoriented and-- was the name "Ravioli" etched above the mansion's portico?

She was so very, very exhausted. She welcomed Darkness's comforting embrace.

"Darkness, look what the storm dumped in our yard!" Maho Ravioli looked through the window of their living room. It was hard to not noticed something big crashing into your yard.

"Wow, what a lovely present. Looks like a very beaten-up, battered, out of battery Spielanx." Oliver Ravioli joined his wife in peering down at the person who'd rolled up to their front door. From the looks of it, the Spielanx had six fingers, which was a decent amount in general but rather low for a member of the ruling families. He had eight himself, as did his wife.

"You just put down that sod too." She noted.

"And now I'll have to redo it. What a pity. Well, we should go drag them in for healing and an interrogation and all that good stuff." Oliver did a twirl as he headed towards the door.

"I'll get the taser." Maho joked.

"Thanks very much, gem."

"Not a problem, rusty wire."

He pouted. "Why must you add an unfavorable adjective to a perfectly good pet name?" He opened the door for Maho and stared at the questionable gift from the storm. Thankfully, the winds were dying down now, so it was safe to go out.

"It just still means I love you, for all the flaws you have."

"I love it when you use that wit of yours for something heartwarming instead of snarky."

"I never said I loved your flaws."

"And of course you go and ruin it again. I should just close my ears after you say anything nice, so I can savor it and ignore whatever comes after."

They walked across the lawn. "Yes, but I've learned to accept your flaws. That's not bad, I just don't love your flaws. They're just accepted."

"Fair enough, fair enough." Oliver squatted down next to the Spielanx. He gently rolled them over so they were face-up. From this view, she--he assumed from the hair, messy as it was--looked to be in even worse condition. "So. Dead or alive, you think?"

"If she's dead, she's not entering our home. If she's alive, waste no time picking her up and getting her inside, preferably one of the spare rooms. Ilias' room should have enough space for medical needs."

"What if she's both dead and alive, like Crowdinger's chicken-"

The person blurted out, "Fried chicken!" Her eyes flew open, and she immediately closed them again. "...Ow."

"Either she's alive, or that's an impressive display of last energy going through her nerves."

"I'm... I'm alive?" It sounded like a question.

"Looks like you are, kid. Let's get you indoors." Oliver carefully picked up the girl and brought her to Ilias's room. Maho brought in a med kit as Oliver set the girl down on the bed. It was comfortable, and covered by a quilt.

She seemed to drift into unconsciousness again as they laid her down. Oliver called a doctor, while Maho tended to the cut on the girl's cheek. While both he and Maho knew basic medicine (Maho more than he did), getting a lookover by an actual doctor would probably be a good idea.



Turns out, the girl had a few fractured ribs, and a dislocated shoulder. That was actually impressive, considering she'd been out in a storm. Her skin would peel, but she was otherwise fine.

She was still sleeping in Ilias's room. The doctor had just left, after resetting her shoulder and giving recommendations for her recovery. Oliver and Maho were in the living room, far enough away from Ilias's room to not be heard unless they shouted. They sat on the couch facing the room, Oliver taking the armrest side and Maho squishing him as much as she could.

"So."

"Sewing is rather hard for me, actually," Oliver said. "Hurts my eyes." He grinned, knowing full well that wasn't what Maho had meant.

"You are great at sewing with words." Maho rolled her eyes. "What are we going to do with with the girl?"

"Ah, that I am! As for the girl..." He glanced towards the direction of Ilias's room. "I suppose she can use that room while she recovers. It's not like our kids visit often." He frowned for a moment. It seemed like both of them had left to become independent as soon as possible, especially Sammy... Oh, Sammy. He still had no idea where their eldest son was... When he'd left, he'd said that he wanted to remain out of the public eye. And, Oliver being a famous celebrity and lawyer and Maho being a government agent, it was rather difficult to maintain privacy around them.

Maho sighed. Oliver knew she wished their kids would speak with them more often. "We haven't seen Ilias in a year and we haven't seen Sammy in twenty three. Ilias wasn't always the same though, not after that one friend of his got lost in the woods."

"Who even gets lost in the woods these days?" Oliver shook his head sadly. "I always thought it was a cover-up for a murder, though of course I never told him that..."

Even then, Maho was still looking for their lost child. Oliver still saw glimpses of her as she worked on it when she was able to, tears on her cheeks. It fractured his heart.

They were silent for a few moments. "Let's shove the conversation back on track. The girl."

Oliver nodded. "Right. We'll have to question who she is when she wakes up. Doesn't look like a familiar face to me, but she could be a minor member of one of the families."

Maho nodded. "And get her back to said family."

"Yes. She looks old enough to be independent, but still, I'm sure there are people who'll be worried about her." He stood up. "Sounds like a good plan. Assuming she's not an assassin sent to kill us or anything, of course. This would be a rather convoluted way to assassinate us though." He laughed.

"Well that's quite an interesting entrance for an assassin. If you were one I have no doubt you'd do it."

"Undoubtedly. Though I'd try to stick the landing before fainting. Landing face-first on someone's lawn? Not the most graceful way to announce your presence, though it does have its own brand of drama."

"I'd say landing face first is about as graceful as you'll get."

"Wow. 39 years of marriage and you still insult me every five minutes."

"Of course. You married me me thinking it would die down?"

"No. That would be ludicrous. Almost as ludicrous as me failing to complain about it but somehow still carrying on with the conversation. Anyways, what do you want for lunch tomorrow?"

"Is that a question you have to ask?" She smiled and tilted her head.

"Nope! Because I'll be making alfredo pasta!" Oliver grinned back.

"That's for dinner. Tacos for lunch tomorrow."

"Fine, fine. Tacos are good too, though not as good as pasta... I trust you have the flavors picked out already?"

"Of course. What?" She eyed him. "No argument?"

"Oh? Do you want one?" He raised his eyebrows. "Because I can gladly oblige."

"What do you think?"

"I think you either assume I'm a mind reader, or you enjoy testing me."

"I think you don't need to think about that."

"I think you thinking I don't need to think about that is yet another test. One that I will gladly fail with flying colors!" He nudged her a little. "Also, as much as I appreciate you being a spielanx heater next to me, I am feeling just a little squished. Like the insides of a banana at the bottom of the trash can, feeling the pressure from the scraps above it. Squishhhhh."

"Please, you're not feeling that. Here's what it feels like." So, she sat on him.

"H-hey!" Oliver grunted. "I was... only saying... that's what I felt like..." He wheezed. "...Not encouraging you to... actually model that pressure." He tried to shove her off. She stubbornly remained, tilting her head up to grin at him. Oliver attempted to frown, but couldn't keep a grin from tugging at his mouth.

"Okay, then..." He clutched at the armrest. "If you won't move, I will..." He scrabbled at the couch for a grip and attempted to slither out from beneath Maho. He moved approximately one centimeter. She moved slightly, just enough so he was unable to escape.

Oliver collapsed against the couch again with an exhausted groan. "Really... need to work on... my arm strength..." he gasped. "The victory is yours, milady. This banana gives up. Please have mercy."

"You should work on your lung strength." She grinned up at him, looking at him with her loving eyes. Loving and mildly terrifying. Just a bit.

"That too." He looked up at her, trying his best to imitate their dog's pleading eyes. "May I have my freedom?"

She gave him a peck on the cheek and slid back beside him.

Oliver sucked in a few large breaths, savoring the air. "Free! I'm free! Oh air, how I've missed you!"

"You said the same thing when I got you out of prison. Now let's get tacos, pasta can be tomorrow's lunch."

"Shhhhhhhh we don't talk about that." He grinned at her. "Sounds good to me, my dear trash compactor."

"Shall we, said trash?"

"We shall."



The next day, Oliver was making alfredo pasta in the kitchen. Maho stood at the doorway of Ilias' room, keeping an eye on the girl, and Oliver. She eyed him as if he'd burn the place down, which was totally unfair. He'd only burned pasta twice!

This time, he wouldn't burn it. He stirred the pasta noodles. They seemed soft enough, so he drained the water he'd boiled them in, then added the sauce. Ahhhh, the creamy scent was absolutely scrumptious.

Oliver made two plates, though there was still quite a bit of pasta left, so he could heat some up if the girl wanted some later. He garnished them with just the right amount of shrimp, a sprig of alfalfa, and a pinch of lemon salt and pepper.

He slid them onto the table expertly. Maho smiled, and left her post at the doorframe to sit down and eat. Time to be judged by the very critical judge. He watched very, very carefully. On the one hand, if she insulted his pasta, that would basically be an invitation to a duel for honor. On the other, if she liked it, then he'd have an excuse to celebrate with some coffee from that place he'd wanted to try for a while. On the third hand, if she was merely neutral, he could use his sunstone to order tacos, then leave her to eat the tacos while he ate all the pasta himself. Was he leaning towards the third hand? Maybe.

"Not bad." She took another bite. "We should have guests more. You always seem to cook better."

Hmmm. That was rather in-between the second and the third hand. Perhaps a little bit of coffee? "Even better than usual, you mean," Oliver responded with a wink. He dug into his pasta and melted with happiness. The noodles were cooked to the perfect texture-- soft but not soggy. The sauce had just enough saltiness and creaminess, and the shrimp and hint of lemon added freshness to it.

There was a bark outside the door and a thunk. Maho rolled her eyes and got up. "And where was the dog when a spielanx landed in our yard?"

"Hiding in the doghouse, probably." Oliver laughed. "Felidae is many wonderful things, but I think a blade of grass would make a better guard..."

"It was your idea to get a dog." She scowled and let the German shepherd like dog in.

"Yes! And Felidae brings us so much joy, doesn't she?" Felidae trotted over to the table and Oliver leaned down to scratch behind her ears.

"Yes, cleaning the floor is very fun." She sat back down.

Oliver grinned and took another bite of pasta. Felidae settled down under the table. "It's good exercise. And don't you love sliding across a freshly polished floor in socks? Well, I do, at least."

"I love watching you fall." Maho continued eating.

"Brutal." Oliver shook his head sadly and tsked.

"Hilarious."

"Uncalled for and insulting. I don't fall that often."

"Please. You fall at least once a day."

Oliver clutched at his heart. "You wound me with your unfiltered honesty! I'm afraid the injury is near-fatal."

"Oh poor you. Grow some darkness touched skin."

"Ouch. Not even a bit of pity. Woe is me! Felidae, you're the only one in this house who truly cares for me." Oliver fed a bit of shrimp to their dog.

"Dont teach the dog poor manners! You know we don't feed her at the table."

Oliver pouted. "But... but her eyes... So cute and pleading... How can one resist them?"

"Grow skin."

Their guest wandered into the room. "What's this about growing skin?" She winced in pain. "Wish I could grow healthy ribs instead." Ah. While their doctor was skilled, especially with rose quartz, not even she could completely heal fractured ribs in a day, not to mention the exhaustion and the other scrapes and bruises. The girl would likely be sore for at least a week.

Maho scowled at the dog. "You couldn't tell us she was up? Come on and sit down, Ollie will get you some pasta girl."

"Gladly!" She took a seat at the table and smiled. "Thank you so much for helping me. That storm..." She shuddered. "0/10 experience, do not recommend. Oh, and I'm Mari, by the way."

"Nice to meet you, Mari." Oliver spun a plate of warm pasta in front of her. Her eyes widened and she eagerly tried a bite.

"What got into your mind to be outside in a storm?"

Mari looked disgusted as she finished chewing. "Trust me, it was not intentional. I was distracted and didn't notice the signs until it was too late."

"Hey. How's the pasta?" Oliver smiled and watched the newest member of his culinary audience. That disgusted expression better not have been for his pasta.

"Oh. It's good!" She gave a thumbs-up. Hmmm. Not the most enthusiastic, but acceptable. Oliver nodded. Mari swallowed and said, "I saw the word Ravioli outside the house. Are you really Maho and Oliver Ravioli?"

"The only ones in the entirety of both planes. You don't seem like someone completely accustomed to the astral plane, so who brought you?" Oliver knew that look. Curious looking mostly, but deep in she had a glint of, what would he describe it as, wariness? That would suffice.

Mari looked at them for a moment, then chewed another bite as if stalling for time. Finally, she swallowed. "So, funny story, that. It was your son. Ilias."

Maho raised an eyebrow at Oliver. Oliver waggled his eyebrows. Ilias... Huh. He was sure there was an interesting story there. Maho tapped. How rude, didn't visit. Sends a girl to us through a storm. I might go kill him.

Mari coughed abruptly, then covered it up by taking a sip of water. Huh. Oliver hoped she didn't accidentally choke on his food.

Oliver spun a fork through his pasta as he replied, Just temporarily, please. I would like some grandkids someday.

Please. When have you seen him with a woman? She talked to Mari. "So how'd you meet Ilias?"

An awkward expression passed across her fact for a split second, and then she smiled. "We're distant cousins, actually. My dad married into a branch of this family, and he keeps bragging about how we're distantly related to celebrities like Ilias. We just kinda ran into each other and hit it off."

Maho shifted to sit more at the corner of her chair. A sign Oliver learned meant she was suspicious.

"That sounds like a great story! Please, do give us more details." Oliver smiled.

Mari laughed. "It's rather embarrassing. It involves getting chased through the astralport by paparazzi, me being called Maria, and throwing up on the astralplane... All over Ilias, of course. His expression was priceless." She smirked.

"Sounds like something that Ilias would get himself into." Maho admitted, smiling.

She laughed. All traces of the brief awkwardness from before were gone. "That's not even all of it. He thinks hot dogs are squaricanized tacos. Not to speak ill of the absent, but that is an egregrious opinion."

"I wonder where he got that from." Maho gave Oliver a pointed look.

Oliver blinked innocently. "What? I've only done my fatherly duty in educating him as to the ways of food."

"So it was you behind it, huh?" Mari pointed her fork at Oliver.

"Guilty as- wait. I'm not guilty. Innocent as charged."

"Prove it! He didn't get it from me!" Maho glared at Oliver.

Oliver smiled back. "Oh, I'm not saying it wasn't from me! I would indeed like to claim the credit, and can pull out the powerpoint presentation again for proof."

"Why... do you look proud of that?" Mari gave Oliver a look.

"Because I'm right."

"They created both foods years before they even met!" Maho exclaimed.

Oliver waggled a finger. "Ah-ah-ah. Surely there were some bold travelers who started the cultural exchange before it was officially documented. Or the squaricans are lying about when hot dogs were invented."

"Please." Maho rolled her eyes.

"You're welcome."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Affirmative."

"Negative."

"Positive."

Mari watched the two as she ate her pasta. She seemed entertained.

"Nein."

"Sí."

"No."

"Yes."

"Eat your pasta."

"Yes." Oliver shoved a bite into his mouth and chewed merrily. Maho eyed him. He winked. She looked back to Mari.

"Well, we can contact Ilias to come pick you up after this meal. Consider us holding you hostage to get him to try to visit us."

Mari laughed. "Sounds good to me! In the meantime... would you happen to have any baby photos and/or elementary art projects of his?"

Maho grinned, seeming to take a liking. "Of course."

(3014 words)

Okay, he admitted it. He kind of regretted not going. Now Mari was missing, which he was covering up, and he felt guilty. Then again, she wanted to meet with revolutionaries. Not his problem. But he failed to mention the storm. When not training, he paced in his room, watching his comms while planning. His private one went off, which surprised him because the only people who knew that were... his parents. It was his father, of course. He waited a second, and answered.

"Yellow?" He asked, a code.

"Green. There's someone here. She's been staying in your room and eating our food."

"Mari?" He asked, perking up.

"Oho, so you do know her!" He could hear his father's laughter through the phone. "Don't worry, we like having her as a guest, though some of her food-related opinions are regretfully incorrect. You should come pick her up though, before we make her start paying rent."

"You think I did anything? If anything, she's related to Mom. I wouldn't mind you making her pay rent. Have fun with her!" click. Ilias hung up. He'd have to ask her about why she made such a large rock jump, instead of said destination. Only conclusion is something went wrong, and he could crow about how he was right. As he was getting ready, an alarm sounded. Right, the drill. Meaning he'd be stuck for about an hour. How rude, delaying his time to annoy Mari. Good thing was he'd be able to come up with some good quips to say.



He knocked on the door, which he stood at for 5 minutes without being noticed. It opened after a few seconds.

Oliver poked his head outside. "Hey Ilias! Mari is in the living room. Come on in!"

"Heyyy! I brought someone with me, and I don't think friend would be the right term but I think you've met him." Ilias grinned, and motioned for Sammy to come from behind the door.

"Oh, is it the mail delivery guy-" Oliver's eyes widened. He stared at Sammy as if seeing Darkness incarnate. He blinked, then blinked again. "S-Sammy? Tell me you're not a scarily accurate lookalike Ilias found." If this was the Stormlight Archive, an awespren would be bursting around his head.

"The one and only!" Ilias beamed.

Sammy smiled shyly. "Dad, I-"

Oliver made a high-pitched squealing noise and rushed out of the house to wrap Sammy in a bear hug. He sobbed and squeezed his son tighter until Ilias could swear he heard something pop. Ilias tried not to laugh.

"Lightness sake, what kind of sound is that?" Maho asked, walking towards the door.

"The sound of a father embracing his long-lost son!" Oliver reluctantly released Sammy, who turned to face Maho with an embarrassed expression. Ilias made jazz hands to present his brother.

He blinked tears out of his eyes. "Uh. Hi, Mom."

She made a sound similar to Oliver, but more stifled and hugged him to the point of something else popping. Sammy seemed to be wincing and grinning and crying all at the same time. Quickly, Oliver joined the hug again and pulled Ilias in too. Ilias allowed it. He looked up to see Mari, who'd appeared in the doorway of the mansion.

"What's- oh." She saw Sammy being hugged to death and smiled. "I'll just go back inside. Enjoy your reunion." She hummed happily. Ilias extracted himself from the group hug, and went over to Mari.

"Told you so." He hummed once he caught up.

"What'd you tell me?" She feigned ignorance. "That I'm the coolest? No, actually, I don't remember that, though I do agree with it."

"That you'd be accepted, duh." He walked up the stairs.

"...Oh. I thought you were going to tell me off for going to the meeting, but this is much nicer." She smiled.

"Well, that too, but I thought we were still faking. So, what happened." He poked his head into a room. Storage, great. He walked in.

Mari grimaced. "I may or may not have gotten caught up in an astral storm..." She followed him.

"And you're still in one piece." He whistled, impressed.

"Yes. Your parents are very kind." Mari looked around at the boxes. "Especially for showing me your baby photos."

Ilias groaned. "Well then, I'll just go kill someone."

"Woah woah woah." Mari lowered her voice and whispered, "Make sure it's someone I don't like."

"I haven't decided whether it'll be my parents, you, or me." He looked into a box. Photos...

"None would be best. But if you have to choose, I think you would be the most unlikely to stay dead for long, and thus the logical choice. Besides, your father makes too good pasta to die, your mother is too cool, and I'm me." Mari peeked into the box. "Ooh, I don't think I saw those ones."

"Wow, you like people you've only known for what 2 days more than me? I'm wounded. These are of old dead people."

"Mhm. Gotta step up your game, Ilias. Your parents are winning the popularity polls right now. And old dead people? Sounds fun." She blew the dust off of one photo. "Who are they?"

"No Idea."

"Well then, let's go ask my new favorite people!" Mari marched off with the photo.

"You didn't answer me."

"Hmm?" She glanced back at him.

"What did you do to get left out in a storm?"

"I uh, may have turned them down. Apparently they didn't like that. Like, jeez, learn to take a rejection, folks."

"Uh huh. More details? Or you forget?"

She tapped on the wall. More organized than the ROMEOs. Similar goals tho.

what did they want? He tapped back.

Info on the ROMEOs.

why didn't you tell them?

"Well, it was one of my New Year's resolutions to stop overcommitting myself, and I thought I wanted to stay away from" crazy revolutionary groups that attempt assassination as if it's a weekly club meeting "from now on." Mari switched between speaking and their tapped language fairly smoothly. They were both gaining fluency.

Ilias wasn't going to get any more from her, and walked out. But before he did he tapped. glad you're alive.

Mari paused, then huffed a surprised laugh and called after him. "Thanks. Hey, your popularity ratings just went up in the Marisol-polls."

Ilias just kept on walking.

A few seconds later, Mari caught up, now with a few more photos in her hands. "Are your parents and Sammy done with the hugfest/hugtorture yet?" She glanced through a window towards the front of the house.

"More than likely now feeding him no matter how much he's already eaten."

Mari laughed. "Well, they can talk and feed Sammy at the same time." She corrected course towards the dining room.

"They'll definitely be drowning him in questions."

"Ah. Maybe I'll listen first then. Nothing like a good interrogation."

Ilias shook his head. "Poor Sammy."

"Well, he did stay away for decades, didn't he? They're just making up for that lost time, all at once... Like an huge earthquake after the fault hasn't slipped for a while..." Mari entered the dining room. Ilias went and sat down by the extremely nervous Sammy, who gave him a grateful look. There was a ginormous bowl of pasta in front of Sammy.

Across from them, Oliver steepled his fingers. "So. Sammy. What have they been feeding you at work?"

"Uh. Food? Bread rolls, salad, burgers sometimes..."

"You mean pizzas, not burgers. Anyways. What do you do for work?" Oliver motioned for Sammy to eat.

"I'm a chemist. I work in a lab, and it's been amazing." Sammy took a small bite of pasta.

"Where do you work?" Maho asked.

"It's classified."

"Oh, government business, I see."

Sammy nodded. Ilias started to zone out. He did mean what he told Mari. He hated people growing on him. It would bite him later, wouldn't it?

Next to him, Sammy answered question after question. How could his parents even think of all those questions? How long had they dreamed of this? ...He knew the answer: since the moment Sammy had left.

Back in the physical plane again. A bit more difficult to walk on ceilings, unfortunately. He was back with the planning crew. Looked like they were almost done planning. He had gotten better clothes to blend in, and the people could forgive his absence under the excuse of "his wife and son had been caught up in the shooting inside the bright red home, and needed help recovering from their shock and injuries".

"Hey there, Eeeeelias." Ah, right. Mid's fake name. He glanced up and saw Ernest, the man in charge of the Pandemonium Planning Committee, waving him over. "We mostly have the teams organized for our Day of Pandemonium. Who's excited to break into the astral plane?"

The others whooped and cheered. Mid cheered with them to blend in.

"Now, we'll have to find a crew to fit you into..." Ernest scanned some papers.

"What do you need?"

"Ah, we could always use more people on the distraction crew!"

"Sign me up!" He replied immediately, not allowing the man to continue listing spots.

"Sounds good. We leave in four hours, so get briefed before then." Ernest pointed to a cluster of people-- probably the distraction crew.

"Thanks!" Mid trotted over to his group. He quickly got caught up with their plans.

The level of activity in the room doubled as the clock inched closer towards the astralport infiltration time. Now it was T-minus five minutes.

"ARE WE READY TO TAKE FREEDOM?" Someone yelled, and everyone cheered. Little early, wasn't it? But Mid cheered with.

"YEAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"



Potash sat in her office with Sammy, waiting on Mid, of course. But he wasn't always this late. Had something gone wrong with the mission? Her fingers itched for her sunstone, though she knew he wouldn't answer it if he was still undercover. She could ask someone who walks by her office hall...

She opened the door and was immediately hit in the face by a sheet of paper.

Potash scrabbled at the paper on her face and whipped it away. "Invasion!" the person behind the paper gasped out. "At the astralport!" They gathered up their papers and sprinted off again.

"This building is going on lockdown," a calm voice announced. "Please remain calm."

Potash quickly slipped into her office before the door shut. Why did she get the feeling this all had to do with Mid?



An hour later, she heard noises. Yelling. Then rumbling. Earthquake? Stampede of unicorns? No. People. They started banging on the door, and Potash shared a glance with Sammy.

Before they could move, the door crashed inwards. Huh. It wasn't supposed to do that. Potash got into a fighting stance and shoved Sammy behind her. A very large crowd of people swarmed into the room. Fists did not go well against a big crowd... she was pressed against her desk, and a cloth covered her face. Chloroform....



Mid was great at being a distraction. His loud clothing definitely grabbed people's eyes. They were dazzled by his style, of course. Not starry headed from the club he carried at all. Nopity nope. Unrelated, but swinging a club was fun.

The other members of the crew pulled off dance moves and other stunning things (totally not related to maces, nope), buying the other crews a precious few minutes of absolute chaos. At some point, someone grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side.

"Come on!" He followed.

"What's going on?"

"We're pulling out!" Mid would have spoken, but he was whacked from behind. He saw stars, and did not faint in awe at their style. He wore the loud, glowing look better.

"Banana peels," he mumbled.



After listening to the rest of Sammy's interrogation and stories about Ilias's family history, Mari just wanted to sleep. Her injuries still hadn't healed, and while she loved listening to stories, she figured her energy was getting used up by the process of healing.

So, she bid Ilias a quick farewell when they arrived at the agency. He mentioned something about getting pizza as she wandered towards the dorms.

She was in her room when the building went into full-on panic and lockdown mode.

The lights went out. She went onto the defensive, but she was just... so tired... Ah. Her ribs were aching again.

There was a quick jab to her neck and she collapsed.

Well, now Potash could check "get kidnapped" off of her "things i never wanted to do" bucket list. She came to slowly, trying to observe her surroundings. Ugh, her head hurt. Had they dragged her around like a sack of potatoes?

She looked to be... in a child's bedroom. Potash frowned at a teddy bear. It frowned back. Her wrists, waist, and ankles were tied tightly to a chair. Unfortunately, it was a child's chair and about yes times too small for her. She tried to get up, chair and all, but found that the chair was lashed to a heavy dresser quite thoroughly.

Well. Apparently her kidnappers were either fond of childrens' toys, or they were on a budget and this was the only place they'd found to stick her in. Now, if only one of them would walk in the door so she could interrogate them...

Perfectly, the door opened. In came a woman with a tray of food. She closed the door behind her.

Potash memorized her appearance. No one she was familiar with. "Hello there," Potash said pleasantly. "Lovely weather we're having, isn't it?"

"Fabulous. I thought you'd be hungry when you woke up so I brought food." The woman smiled very nicely.

Potash immediately grew even more suspicious. "Why thank you. I'm not hungry at the moment, but perhaps later. I'm Agent Potash, and you are...?"

"Ome Zwerd." She set down the platter of food. "Pleasure to meet you Potash."

"Likewise, Ome. How's your day been?"

"Not very well, how's your's?"

"What a coincidence. My day's been awful."

Ome smiled sadly. "Well I do suppose yours has been worse than mine. You'll understand though. I should go."

"Ome, wait! Please, just tell me-- why am I here?"

"Because the government is corrupt." Ome replied softly. "Few will stand up to fight."

Ah, an anti-government group, then. They likely kidnapped her for her knowledge and position. Potash nodded. "Farewell."

Ome slipped out of the room with a nod. And Potash settled down to think.



Mid had the worst headache ever. Where did the guys get a club? More like how did they hide it so well. He decided that should have been truck sized with how much it hurt. He was in a very boring room, which was filled with photos. Probably dead people. Hm. No photobombers. Even more boring. Was that a kid strapped to a table or a cat? That sure was an ugly cat then. He was strapped to a rather comfy chair though. It was a little tight around the chest, his wrists and ankles were numb so he couldn't tell. Overall, it was very cheery.

The door opened and a woman entered with a tray of food.

"Excuse me, is that your great grandpa's cat there or a kid getting tortured?"

The woman blinked and turned her head to see the photo. "...It's my great great grandpa's cat, actually."

"Did he get ran over?" Mid squinted. "I can't see very well from here."

The woman wiped a tear from her eye. "How did you know? Rest in peace, Fluffysparklesunicorniusmagicusthetwentyfirstpartthree."

"I love that name."

"Thank you." The woman set down the tray close to Mid. "We figured you'd be hungry."

"You got something for headaches? Like your skull just got bashed in pain relief?"

"Ah, yes. One moment." She left the room, then arrived more than one moment but less than one minute later. "Here." She handed Mid a small cup with a pink liquid in it.

"Never seen this before. Also uh, my arms are sort of tied up. You sure this won't kill me?"

"Right. And yes, it's been rigorously tested and is well known to be safe in the scientific community." The woman poured the liquid down Mid's throat. Wheee, a tunnel of darkness!



Mari was rather intrigued by how she'd been kidnapped. Might have to take notes, just in case. She was ready with a list of questions to ask when a woman entered her room.

"Hey! I'm Mari, and I have to say, I bet you all do the kidnapping thing better than I do. Oh, is that food? So I was right to feed my kidnappee... Unless that food actually does have something else in it. Then that's not quite what I did." Mari beamed at the lady.

The woman seemed surprised. "Oh uh... it's just a normal sandwich. I'm Ome."

Darkness! She'd done everything right, down to the food item! "Hi Ome. Now, first question: what did you inject into me to knock me out? I don't have much of a headache, surprisingly."

"Just the norm we use." Ome offered the sandwich to Mari's mouth. She hesitated a moment, then chomped down on it. She was hungry, after all. Ome seemed happy about it.

"Hm. What's the main chemical compound? May I speak to your head chemist and compare notes? I bet they'd appreciate the test subject's records of their experience."

"I can try, he's usually hard to reach."

"Oh, that would be wonderful! Thank you!"

"Of course." Ome smiled, offering another bite. Mari took a large bite and finished off the sandwich.

"Anything else you need?"

"My freedom, but I suppose that's not a possibility right now?"

"In the future, yes. Soon I hope." Ome headed to the door.

Why did that concern Mari more than it reassured her? She stared at the door for a while, troubled.

(906 words)