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Young Writers Society


Need review-will return in few days!



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Gender: Male
Points: 5984
Reviews: 87
Sun May 11, 2014 3:49 pm
Alchemist says...



Hey there peeps. I have a first chapter of my story, called The Siege, labeled by the fantasy and mystery/suspense. I'm here becouse i need a rewiev on a specific thing.

I need opinions on character developement in this particular chapter Chapter one:No chance to succeed. Also opinions about the storyline would be appreciated. There is also a prologue you can but dont have to read to be able to review the first chapter.

This is a make or break chapter here, so whatever i do here i will have to go on with it for the rest of the story, and thats why i need help.

Have a nice day,

-Alchemist
  








"The trouble with Borrowing another mind was, you always felt out of place when you got back to your own body, and Granny was the first person ever to read the mind of a building. Now she was feeling big and gritty and full of passages. 'Are you all right?' Granny nodded, and opened her windows. She extended her east and west wings and tried to concentrate on the tiny cup held in her pillars."
— Terry Pratchett, Discworld: Equal Rites