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Young Writers Society


Need review-will return in few days!



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87 Reviews


Gender: Male
Points: 5984
Reviews: 87
Sun May 11, 2014 3:49 pm
Alchemist says...



Hey there peeps. I have a first chapter of my story, called The Siege, labeled by the fantasy and mystery/suspense. I'm here becouse i need a rewiev on a specific thing.

I need opinions on character developement in this particular chapter Chapter one:No chance to succeed. Also opinions about the storyline would be appreciated. There is also a prologue you can but dont have to read to be able to review the first chapter.

This is a make or break chapter here, so whatever i do here i will have to go on with it for the rest of the story, and thats why i need help.

Have a nice day,

-Alchemist
  








It had a perfectly round door like a porthole, painted green, with a shiny yellow brass knob in the exact middle. The door opened on to a tube-shaped hall like a tunnel: a very comfortable tunnel without smoke, with panelled walls, and floors tiled and carpeted, provided with polished chairs, and lots and lots of pegs for hats and coats—the hobbit was fond of visitors. The tunnel wound on and on, going fairly but not quite straight into the side of the hill —The Hill, as all the people for many miles round called it—and many little round doors opened out of it, first on one side and then on another.
— JRR Tolkien