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Young Writers Society


Cherry Scented Poetboy



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85 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1040
Reviews: 85
Tue May 10, 2005 5:01 pm
Chanson says...



you think you are so
intelligent with your
obscure references to pop culture
and your convoluted metaphors
involving fairytale words that
sound good against the tongue
dream, future, love, cherry, rainbow,
things you know
nothing about but in your adolescent
arrogance have decided are within
you talents to explore.

well, let me tell you something real:
you are nothing more then an obscure poet
with a big head and the kind of
confidence in yourself
that grates against my skin with every word you say.

i am not a poet worth mentioning
but my poetry comes from a place
deep inside myself and i do not
try and ornament it with what i think
are sugar sweet metaphors in the hope
they will make people aware of my intelligence.
perhaps i am above average but
i do not shout it from the pages of my cheap notebooks
and underline it with those long words
that you consider so intellectual.

i am not writing this to say i am better then you.
we are equals and
i am an admirer of the way your poetry looks
on the ruled paper that litters
your hardwood floors and the concrete slabs
that lead the way to your apartment
but admiration does not always equal respect.

let me put it in words
that your pseudo intellectual mind
can appreciate:
one day, Icarus,
you will fly too close to the sun
and I will collect the wax in a
pretty rainbow tinted jar that smells of
cherries and spring dreams
and i will place a lable
bearing the word that brought such cruel punishment
in the days of Gods and thunderbolts:
Hubris.
"And Matt Muir. Matt Muir, he's the sweetest guy. Have you ever looked into his eyes? It's like the first time I heard the Beatles" Superbad
  





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701 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 10087
Reviews: 701
Wed May 11, 2005 4:55 am
bubblewrapped says...



I confess I'm struck dumb. Mostly by the disconcerting similarities between myself and said 'poetboy' LOL, but also because of the way you have expressed yourself so eloquently. Its impressive, to say the least. I havent read any of your poetry before, but I'll certainly keep a look out for it now. Kudos on a great piece!
Got a poem or short story you want me to critique?

There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it. (C D Morley)
  





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3821 Reviews

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Gender: Female
Points: 3491
Reviews: 3821
Wed May 11, 2005 5:15 am
Snoink says...



*high fives*

I hate lengthy stuff too... lengthy words and pretentious rhyming that is oh so sophisticated. GAG ME.

Anyway, it has somewhat ignited my creative fires. Good... I think.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D
  








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