Young Writers Society

It's quiet and sleek
With fangs so sharp and long
It's so frightening

It comes out when your asleep
In the deep darkness of the night
It's so frightening

Be careful or it might creep
Around your bed tonight
It's so frightening

You'll be safe only when it sleeps
But when it wakes
And it attacks
It's so frightening

Only remains are left
Blood all over
As it crawls out to feast again
It's so frightening

This is undoutedly the best work you've written and posted here, in my oppinion.

The only thing that I think needs work is the last stanza. With the blood and remains thing, it just dosen't fit into the rest of the poem. The lines before it were all about dark, scary fear, not blood and guts everywhere.

But, again I liked this.

Yeah. Me TOO! I love this too! Good Job Rachel!!

~Lollipop~

Yup, this is the best so far, no question. I think the repeated line at the end made the poem a little laboured. I think you should've made it a different word for "frightening" (antonym, synonym, homonym, whatever) like terrifying, petrifying, etc. It was rather cool.

wow!
that was really nice rachael....i really liked the repitition of ''its so frightening''.
cool job lady...keep it up.

i don't mean to nag but u spelt my name wrong