Hahaha. Somehow I feel like the 'spoiler' was aimed straight at me. It could be a haiku, all it needs is a keriji (I'll leave it to you to figure out what and where ).
From a technical point, I would replace 'fly' with something else ('float' perhaps?). I do not think it sits well next to 'butterflies'.
Nothing to critique other than that really. It's a great idea, cleverly executed. If I were you I'd ask Kylan for a review.
Stay classy,
K.
Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Uh, Lisa, the whole reason we have elected officials is so we don't have to think all the time. Just like that rainforest scare a few years back: our officials saw there was a problem and they fixed it, didn't they? — Homer Simpson
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