I am Unwritten

9 posts
Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 4867
Reviews 35
I am Unwritten.
A few blank pages;
A picture unfinished;
A book missing its happy ending.

I am Undone.
A puzzel missing its peices;
A song without its lyrics;
A dance without the rhythm.

I am Undefined.
A riddel never solved;
A seed blown by the wind;
Three words unspoken.

I am Unseen.
A jewel within a stone;
A water pool beneaththe desert sands;
A gold mine hidden within a mountain.

I am Unexperienced.
A lamb against a lion;
An innocent mind amongst perversion;
A new life entering the world.

I am Unprepared.
A warrior without his sword;
A writer without his imagination;
A carpenter without his tools.

I am human, without God.
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened...
Before. ---Dare you to move by, Switchfoot---




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 230
Reviews 268
okay, Hi babygirl12! When I first saw the title, I thought someone re-wrote the real song by Natasha Bedingfield or they just chose the same title and wrote something familular to it. You suprised me! I love what you wrote! It's completly different than her song! Keep Writing! I love how you put a dicfferent Un word in every verse. Brilliant!
Nike :)
"If I look like a monster,' he says roughly, 'then no one will be surprised when I do monstrous things." - A.B. Poranek




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1349
Reviews 27
hello my name is James!
sorry but it is hard to not follow such talented people! lol well i totally get the sadness of you'r poem. it is sad , and emotional, with a great theme of being lost so i give you a thumbs up on this. once again i follow you because of you'r talent. YOU GOT GAME GIRL!




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 4867
Reviews 35
Thanks! : ]
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened...
Before. ---Dare you to move by, Switchfoot---




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 10870
Reviews 318
Since the poem itself is very nice, I am just going to correct the technical things. The things I fixed are in red. :)

babygirl12 wrote:I am Undone.
A puzzle missing its pieces;
A song without its lyrics;
A dance without the rhythm.

I am Undefined.
A riddle never solved;
A seed blown by the wind;
Three words unspoken.

I am Unseen.
A jewel within a stone;
A water pool beneath the desert sands;
A gold mine hidden within a mountain.

I am Inexperienced.
A lamb against a lion;
An innocent mind amongst perversion;
A new life entering the world.


Great job!




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 4867
Reviews 35
Thanks Abby!! : ]
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened...
Before. ---Dare you to move by, Switchfoot---




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 3249
Reviews 8
Hello Babygirl i don't know your name but never mind I'm Spy0h and I'm going to review this poem .
babygirl12 wrote:
I am Unwritten,
A few blank pages,
A picture unfinished, <<<<<< [color=#0000FF]I think you should re-think of that because you said I am unwritten and a picture is drawing :)

A book missing its happy ending.

I am Undone.
A puzzle missing its pieces, <<<<<< puzzle and pieces
A song without its lyrics,
A dance without the rhythm.<<<<<< I think you should write (without a song) :)

I am Undefined.
A riddle never solved,<<<<<< riddle
A seed blown by the wind,
Three words unspoken.

I am Unseen.
A jewel within a stone;
A water pool beneath the desert sands <<<<
A gold mine hidden within a mountain.

I am Unexperienced.<<<<< I think it should be Inexperienced
A lamb against a lion,
An innocent mind amongst perversion,
A new life entering the world.

I am Unprepared.
A warrior without his sword,
A writer without his imagination,
A carpenter without his tools.

I am human, without God.[/color]

Hope i helped,
Huthaifa
:)




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 3249
Reviews 8
And i forgot to say that i love it :)
:)




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 4867
Reviews 35
Thanks and yaah it is suppose to be Inexperienced...my bad...lol : )
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened...
Before. ---Dare you to move by, Switchfoot---



Oh my my, cowboys vs aliens - someone note the time and date, this is a historical moment (August Review Day 2025)
— Roxanne