3 haiku.

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A sidewalk ocean
broken softly by sky tears
drip-drop sounds like home



Gravel-studded road
flanked by horses and fences;
a place no cars go.



Nature's beauty will
not be confined to three lines.
I am still trying.




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Hello Mars! These are all very good. I love short poems, because they show that something doesn't have to be long to be artistic.

First poem: This one was perfect, and I absolutely love the analogy of rain being "tears of the sky". However, I don't understand your first line. A sidewalk ocean? What is that supposed to mean?

Second Poem: Good, but I think you meant 'roads' in the first line.

Third Poem: It was cute, although I disagree. Even though you are severely limited to what you can say in 3 lines, some of the most beautiful poems and stories can be the shortest.

Fantastic Job, Keep Writing.
PM if you have Questions.

All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them.

-- Walt Disney




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Marz Smarz,

How I adore haiku. And thee. :P

I'm quite particular when it comes to reading them, but I must highly credit you on these. It's difficult to cramp an entire measure of beauty into seventeen syllables.

On the first one, I really don't like the sky-tears analogy; way too overused that it's a boring cliche. Approach this differently, Marsie, bring your own flair and originality to the table.

To me, the gravel studded with 'flanked' after it sounds incredibly awkward. I'd tweak that -- probably kill the 'flanked' because it sounds off kilter from the rest of the poem.

And the last one is enjoyable. Very much so, dear -- I really enjoy your talent for haiku, and you should write more, please. It's refreshing to read, and you paint a full picture in yours instead of a clipout of some part.

Gold star; two thumbs up. ;)

June
"I'd steal somebody's purse if I could google it and then download it." -- Firestarter




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Your three haiku's are very simple, and sweet. The last one- about how nature cannot be captured in three lines made me smile. Because it's true- and yet people try, and do just that in Haiku's. And your first one about the ocean; I could practically see and hear it. Wonderfully done!



The strongest people are not those who show their true strength in front of us but those who win battles we know nothing about.
— Unknown