The little village was barley barely [barley is a type of grain...] even that. He could see maybe twenty small tepees beside the creek, and they were all tiny looking as if to only hold two people.[Just a suggestion, but consider rewriting the last sentence. You state that the tepees are small, tiny, and look as though they could only hold two people. If you wanted to simplify the description, you could just stick with the part about their judged capacity. It is a nicely succinct description.]
Damien would forever know those dark black eyes.[Technically, black is as dark as it gets. Consider using something like 'dark gray', 'coal-colored', or just 'black'.]
That is my name now. [should be a comma, not a period]" he said solemnly.
Damien nodded, [this should be a period instead of a comma, as 'he nodded' is an action, not a speech tag.] "Of course. How is she?"
110,043 Literary Works • 586,615 Reviews