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Young Writers Society
A True Legend
Sun Oct 30, 2011 3:35 am
He was perched upon his very own cliff that admiring his work,he gazed out to the monument he had worked so hard on. It was made out of graphite so it was surely stuck for good,he noticed it had some rough edges but he'll tend them later. His objective as of right now is to fly across the valley to it. He lifts off,causing grass and trees to flap madly, he struggles to mantain a good balance but the wind seemed to want him brushed away as if he would taint their perfect winds.
As he landed at the monument he scratched in:
It was finished as of now the wind flew into the statues open mouth and made a low roaring noise as if it was alive,the small twig tucked in the teeth of it caught on fire and the wind blew it out to make it seem as if it was breathing fire.He was awestruck,he never thought it could be done,he was the only dragon able tomake the staue seem alive with simple natural resources.
As he admired his handy work there was a rustling from a nearby brush,and a small cat meowed and crawled from the shrub. G'rockle didn't know why he saw it but he saw the cat turn into a simaliar picture of himself. He was a medium sized, jet black dragon,he was lean so the wind could easily knock him out of the sky.They raise their claws into the air and wrestle to the death. G'rockle clawed his opponents face and it turned into fog and flew away.
Before he could say anything a giant black blob was flying in the air,then he realisez it called for help!
He leapt off the edge of the valley and flew back home, all of the sudden he got hit and went into a nosedive right at his dad's castle...
Last edited by
on Sun Oct 30, 2011 11:09 pm, edited 2 times in total.
The Tale of Me
Sun Oct 30, 2011 7:48 am
This sounds very interesting, not to mention different. I do have one recommendation however. One of the rules of fantasy world building is "don't call a rabit a smeerp", meaning: if something in your story is going to be recognizable to most of your readers, coming up with a new term for it is silly. Creativity is good, but male sure what your working with is uniqe enough to arrant it's own term (this is harder to do than it sounds, at least in the fantasy genre).
Similarly, unless there is a compelling reason to use G'wendelon and G'rockle as names rather than Gwendelon and Grockle, I would go with the latter.
I like the idea of a non-human proragonist. This is also something surprisingly challenging. I can't wait to see how this turns out.
Sun Oct 30, 2011 3:25 pm
Hello, Demon! 8D
Soooo I love fantasy. And honestly, this sounds like something I'd enjoy reading. You got me with them all being dragons. I loff dragons. <3
Structurally, as a novel summary, it feels like a laundry list of facts! But that's not really a concern until the novel's written and we know particularly what's going on.
So, yes. I love fantasy. I love dragons, quests, etc. It's really fantastic! I don't know much about the plot to give advice for, but as long as we keep this original from other fantasy-quest novels, you'll be okay. Name changes and race-changing the MC won't fully do it. Make sure this world is its own world, that no one can use it without obviously having taken it from you, and... have fun! These stories are ridiculously fun to right, so enjoy!
I make my own policies.
Mon Oct 31, 2011 8:25 pm
I really like this story. Fantasy stories have always fasinated me. I really like this it makes me want to read more. Keep writing
I was weeping as much for him as her; we do sometimes pity creatures that have none of the feeling either for themselves or others.
— Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights
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