I wrote a novel about two years ago. I'm just now sending it into the editor, who is also my mom. We have strong political views in my family, which aren't necessarily new or anything. We like the idea of a limited government, no taxes, few laws, etc. In my novel, I hit upon politics a lot.
The story is that of a girl, who finds out she's the crown princess of this country. When her father is abducted, she takes up his royal duties. The guy (and his massive army) who abducted her father, declares war on her country when the girl refuses to hand herself, or her country, into his possession. At the same time, the government branches of the country are doing all sorts of crazy things. Things that are unnecessary and harmful. The girl sets out to disintegrate the government and bring it back, under her rule. (Oh, and the girl isn't a kid, she's more like seventeen/eighteen, and very smart.)
I'm concerned readers may think this girl is like a dictator. I tried hard to limit government involvement in this story, and no threats on their part. Here is an excerpt. I really want people's opinions on it:
On the desk in front of Roeyn were papers that had been given to her by the army leaders. They listed the number of troops each division had, as well as how many weapons and vehicles, and anything they might need to lead a full-scale attack within a week. Roeyn tried to calculate how many troops and weapons she had in her head, but the stress of the situation was too much. She rubbed her temples and closed her eyes for a second.
“How long do we have until Paldonia declares war?” she asked, turning her head slightly Cody’s way, although she didn’t look at him.
“Two days,” was his simple answer, and she covered her face with her hands, rubbing her eyes as she did so. She had been up since four that morning and had not gotten much sleep during the two days she had already been in Bernel.
“Captain,” she said, dropping her hands and looking at Friderick. “Please hand me the list of figures.”
Friderick obliged and handed her the list. She looked over it, reading the figures to herself. Twenty thousand soldiers, ten thousand handguns and rifles, five hundred armored cars and tanks, four hundred fighter planes and transports, two million rounds of ammunition, thirty thousand grenades, and a fleet of over a dozen warships. An army that could fit in the state of Rhode Island, and could only defend Svetzar if Europe was at peace and Paldonia wasn’t bent on destroying it.
Roeyn looked up at her army leaders. She looked at each in turn, sizing him up and trying to figure out how he lived his life. She knew that it wasn’t their fault that Svetzar’s army was so small and weak.
"Twenty thousand soldiers?” she said finally, running her eyes across the sitting men. “We’re going to defend Svetzar with twenty thousand soldiers? In a war that starts day after tomorrow, whether we like it or not?”
The army leaders said nothing. They looked at each other and sighed, staring at their hands. They didn’t know what to say. Neither did Roeyn, but she had to say something, because she was in charge. This was her arena and her situation to resolve. She would have to clean up this mess her father made.
But even as she thought about it, she knew that it wasn’t even her father’s fault. It had been the Senate’s fault, for bringing about the law in the first place. The Congress and House had both voted for it, thinking it would help their country by sparing their sons and daughters from dying in battle. It was a good reason, Roeyn had to admit, but when war was involuntarily looming on the horizon, it was definitely not going to help.
Roeyn picked up the list of figures once more and leaned back in her chair, studying it.
“Twenty thousand soldiers in active duty at this moment,” she said aloud. “A hundred being outputted from the military academies every month. How many are turned away?” She directed this last question to Captain Friderick.
“On average, half a dozen come a day,” was the answer. “Only about two of those are accepted. The others are sent home.”
“How long does the training last for?”
“Two months for basic training. Two months for professional training.”
Roeyn was thoughtful for a moment. She stared unseeing at the piece of paper in her hands. Suddenly she sat up and leaned forward on her desk.
“If six were accepted a day, that would be an average of one hundred and eighty soldiers a month. If the training could be cut in half, or even more then that, then we might be able to keep a steady supply of man power flowing in to fuel our army.” By the time she was done talking, she had stood up and was pacing in front of the windows.
“Your Majesty, there is one detail you seem to forget,” said Commander Romando, speaking up. “The war starts in two days. There is no way around that.” The subject of handing Svetzar over to Vice Rodrigo had already been silently resolved. “We will have to fight, either in offense or defense. Our soldier’s lives will be taken away at a quick rate of speed. How can we bring our armies up if they will be taken down even faster?”
“We will refrain from fighting as much as possible,” was Roeyn’s answer. “If we must fight, it will be on the defensive. We’ll focus on staking out strongholds where we can easily shoot down our enemies defenses with little harm to ourselves. That’s all we can do. We can’t fight openly with Paldonia’s armies, because they are much bigger then our own. At least, until we have strengthened ours to the best of our ability.” Without waiting for a reply, she turned to Friderick. “Can it be done?”
“We will start accepting everyone who comes,” answered the Captain. “If we try hard enough, we may be able to fit the training into a single month. But there is another question that needs to be resolved. What about the law your father signed? It can’t be undone, and as long as it’s present, we’ll be heightening output illegally.”
“Leave it to me to take care of the Senate,” was Roeyn’s subtle reply. “You focus on bringing our armies up to strength.” She reseated herself. “Now, we need to form a plan to get things moving before the shooting starts.” The army leaders straightened in their seats, ready to follow any command. “I’ve already ordered strongholds to be staked out on the border with Paldonia. Surveyors are dealing with the other borders, in the off chance that our enemy will try attacking from a different direction. I need all of you to mobilize your troops, at least two thousand each. We’ll need back up if it is needed. General Lewell, you’ll be in charge of arranging the troops along the Svetzar- Paldonia border. Commander Romando, I’m giving you command of the ammunition banks and army vehicles. They need to be carefully hidden. General Verimore, I need you to send out the request for an up in aircraft manufacturing, and I want you to mobilize your air force and get it ready for immediate combat. Corporal Thompson, you need to mobilize your navy and have them patrol the French and Italian coast.” She looked at each one in turn as she spoke and then ran her eyes over them all. “I need everyone to be ready for combat by day after tomorrow. Am I understood?”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” was the group reply and Roeyn nodded.
“You may leave, then,” she said. “Await further orders.”
The men rose and departed immediately, heading off to carry out their separate duties. When they had gone, Roeyn once more sunk into her tired self. She leaned back in the big chair, feeling very small.
“You may leave as soon as possible to deal with the military academies,” she said to Captain Friderick. “See how many you can get without even trying. I’ll put a bulletin in the paper to see if I can get a few more. I won’t bring about the Draft unless it’s absolutely necessary. I won’t sacrifice my people’s lives like that.”
“Nor should you have to,” said Friderick, bowing to her. “I will carry out your command. Is there anything else you would like me to do?”
“If you could prepare my car for me, I would like to go see Senator Long.”
“As you wish, Your Majesty.” Friderick bowed again and turned, leaving the room and closing the door behind him.
Roeyn looked at the bookcases, deep in thought. She found herself staring at a picture of Edward and Lesiley on their wedding day. She closed her eyes and suddenly the day came back to her. She could remember everything that had happened, and most vividly in her mind was the British royal family. And then she had an idea.
“Find me the contact information for William of Edinburgh,” said Roeyn suddenly to Cody, though she didn’t turn to him.
Cody stirred and opened one of the desk drawers. Roeyn did not open her eyes, though she could hear him. He pulled out a thick notebook and thumbed through it for a minute.
“Ah, here we are,” he said finally. “Do you want his residence in Toronto? Or London? Or Edinburgh?”
“Where do you think he’d be?” asked Roeyn, opening her eyes and looking up at Cody.
“Probably in Toronto, since he said he’d be there for a while to keep an eye on Peter.”
“The Toronto number then,” replied Roeyn, closing her eyes again and leaning back in the chair. “Tell him I need to ask him another favor. Ask him if he has any spare troops he’d be willing to mobilize.”
Cody looked at Roeyn for a moment, shocked at her nerve. She opened one eye and returned his gaze. Then she closed it again, her face unchanged. Cody shook his head grimly. He picked up the phone and dialed the number. And all the while, he couldn’t help but think what a crazy idea this was.
In this story, the girl eventually does bring about the Draft, which was very hard for me to write. I felt is was necessary, though. Critical opinions are greatly accepted at this point. Do you think the politics are too controversial? If so, how should I change it? I don't want my mom completely freaking out, and I have no choice in my editor. She has to read it.
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