Young Writers Society

I have a point in my story at which the main character throws up in shock and disgust. I kind of have to include it, but I can't seem to find a way to describe it tactfully and still describe the moment well. Suggestions?

The best advice I can offer is put yourself in your character's shoes. Think back when you were last sick. What exactly did your body do? How did it respond? What was the very first thing that happened to you, before you tossed your dinner?

I think you'll find if you relate something specifically that happened to you, you're readers should be able to connect with your character, thus the story becomes more interesting.

For me, I personally feel intense headaches, then my throat hurts like crazy for at least a day. Eventually, my sense of taste disappears. For example, when I'm sick to my stomach I can't taste milk real well. Milk tastes almost sour, even though the date is fine. As for what happens to my stomach, I'll spare you the details. Unless you actually want the details, lol. If that's the case, PM me.

Unfortunately, we've all puked. But the unique thing is our bodies all respond in different ways, like me for example. Losing my sense of taste?

I threw up only hours ago... Funny... (Ate a big lunch, and then ran track...)

But, yes, remember back to a time when you've thrown up. Usually one's body jerks violently and one gets a headache. But I can't tell you how to describe the actual "blowing chunks" part tastefully. It leaves someone with a sore throat and a bad taste in their mouth, and losing your taste isn't uncommon. That stomach acid is crazy. XD

Well, since the throwing up part has already been covered, I shall try to help with the phrasing-it-tactfully part. What sort of story are you writing? Is it in first person? I mean, there may be conventions to be followed, etc. But basically, there are a few different ways I can see this playing out:

1. Character runs off into bushes/another room/turns aside and throws up. This is good in third person, for obvious reasons, since we get them out of the way while all the unpleasant stuff happens.

2. Character's stomach heaves. Now, I've read this before; it usually works. To emphasize the fact that they actually threw up, have them wipe their mouth afterwards or something. Again, probably more third-person, although it could work in first person if you're clever enough.

3. Drop tact. Tact is useless. Go all out. Describe it in lurid technicolor. Then edit out the over-graphic details until you're left with a descriptive and truthful but not nauseating account of throwing up.

That's all I can think of at the moment, but PM me if you like and we can brainstorm. I have nothing to do for the next two days [does little dance] MAHAAHAHAH...uh, yeah.

Thanks guys! Bubblewrapped, your "lurid technicolor" comment made me laugh and say "ew". I think I may just try starting out vile and then narrow it down as much as possible. My story is third person which is pretty effective. I haven't thrown up in a while so... thanks for the... um... reminder. Yeah.

What's a good thing to say though? I've seen vomit and throw up used... what would be more preferable?

Just me, but... throw up seems more like a term that should be reserved for dialogue. Vomit sounds more formal.

...spew also works, lol.

And yeah, vomit sounds very stiff. Maybe in formal stories?

I find that talking about bodily functions usually hurts the story more than it helps.