Young Writers Society

So I'm in this one point in my book where the mysterious guy shares a really cool conversation with the MC when they're suddenly interrupted by an explosion on the temple they're in front of. Basically, it's like this:

[awesome monolouge]

BOOM [right after]

[explanation of where it came from and showing how it effects MG and MC]

I was thinking about just keeping the BOOM in there when I wondered whether there would be a better way to show instant reaction rather than akwardly going straight to the desription of the explosion, making it sound passive. Any ideas?

Go straight to the reaction, giving the explanation in bits as the MC finds out about it. (third person/first person) At least, that's how I would do it.

I just wrote a scene where:

Fucking niggers, he mutters before…
He presses the trigger and the guns goes off—
—cantthink—
––in his hand. It’s… misfire. It’s...
A roar of light and blood and grinding metal and the man hits the floor shrieking and now I’m thinking that I’m supposed to be dead but aren’t. Carl is laughing.
Me too.
Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you!

I know it's not actually a surprise explosion, but it's a surprise and since I'm writing in first person, it's easier to make it... surprising. Since a guy talking in first person narration is basically him thinking, then when something surprising like an explosion or a guy shooting a gun right in front of them happens, then the narration/thought becomes disjointed and difficult to follow.

Another part of the scene happens earlier when the guy with the gun appears out of nowhere and points the gun at them.

I’m thinking about Scrooge McDuck swimming in a pool full of gold. Can I do that with a bathtub and two thousand dollars? I’m thinking about big-ass plasma TVs playing nasty music videos, pumping 2-Pac and Ice-T on impossibly huge speakers, old school shit. I’m thinking about my grandfather’s medications and I don’t hear no gun going click behind me.
What I do hear is someone and I have no idea who it is, asking:
What the fuck is this?

So what I did is a long trail of thoughts that have nothing to do with the, you know, "surprise" which is a guy pointing a gun at the narrator, and then ended the thought with something else. So, it's surprising.

Right?

It surprises you.