How to Be an Evil Mastermind
By: That guy who looks like that other guy with the weird mustache.
Hello.
You have just opened "How to Be an Evil Mastermind". You have thus become one of “them”. Just by opening this book you have been automatically categorized and labeled, maybe even marked, as an evil mastermind, or as they are more formally known as “a person with a serious case of delusions and a split personality disorder.” This book includes guidelines for how to be, or become an evil mastermind, and what evil masterminds are actually for.
Now to begin we must first explain what exactly an evil mastermind is. This task is fairly easy, you just have to find yourself a dictionary and find the words “evil” and “mastermind”. However as an evil mastermind you are probably too lazy to do so, and therefore I will do it for you instead:
Evil = (Adjective) harmful; injurious: morally wrong or bad; immoral; wicked. (Idiom) The evil one or the devil; Satan.
Mastermind= (noun) a person who originates or is primarily responsible for the execution of a particular idea, or project.
This means that an evil mastermind is a harmful, injurious, morally wrong person who is primarily responsible for many devilish deeds, and most probably will be henceforth.
You are now ready to continue to page two… Why are you not at page two yet… Why do you insist on reading this instead of turning the page!!!?
Caution: The author of this book holds no responsibility of anything that might happen to you if and/or when you do as the book says. Some symptoms of this book may, or may not include: Chronic laughing; looking like an idiot; talking like a nincompoop and being a complete ass. Also some physical symptoms may include: tumors, brain cancer, radiation, heart failure and death. But don’t worry I’m sure you’ll be fine, just stay away from men dressed in white jackets.
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