Rated R for foul language.
He turned and kicked his computer, hard. That couldn’t do it or anything else any good, but it felt good to him. He was frustrated. That should have been old business for someone like him. He’d argued how many cases, settled how many disputes? This kind of frustration should have been just another brick in the wall. But it still irked him.
His latest client was to blame. Oh yes, was she to blame. Riley Bannock, eighteen year old acting sensation. She was trying to promote her new movie, Mermaid’s Divinity or Virginity or something equally shitty. Since when did you do a half naked photo shoot to promote a movie? Especially with someone who was supposed to be a role model, who used being a role model to sell half of her merchandise. It didn’t matter if she was wearing her tail from the movie; all that did was just make it even more absurd.
He sighed and leaned back in his chair. It felt like he was just retreading old ground. He felt tired, used. Somehow the prospect of dealing with Riley Bannock been drained of what little enjoyment it had. The computer screen sat there, blank, staring at him with an annoying face.
He turned away and looked out the window. The Pacific Ocean stretched out on the horizon. A few boats coasted around out on the blue water. He smiled. He would be out there later today. He was going to take his boat out for a few hours this evening. When someone considered what he had to deal with on a day to day basis, he deserved to be able to do that.
“Mr. Parcher?” his assistant, Mrs. Holiday, asked from the other room.
“Yes?” he answered.
“You instructed me to remind you to call Ms. Bannock about the photo shoot incident.” He had done that. Why he would need to be reminded about something this big he didn’t know. But he had learned early on to never take chances in this business.
“Yes, I did. Thank you very much.”
“Thank you sir.”
His assistant went back to work. He was satisfied with her. While Delia Holiday might not be much to look at, he had not hired her for looks. She had a professional attitude, and a reason to not screw up. From what he understood, she had two kids at home whose dad had run out on them. With whom he did not know, but for a brief moment he imagined her to be rather like Riley Bannock, big on beauty but not on brains.
He shook those idle thoughts off and picked up the phone. He pressed the appropriate number on his speed dial for Riley Bannock. He had to wait through three rings before somebody finally picked up.
“Uh, hello?” came Ms. Bannock’s voice.
“Ms. Bannock, this is Richard Parcher,” he said.
“Who?” she asked. She was really lacking in the intelligence department today. With all the frequent calls he had made to her in the past, you’d think she’d be at least a little familiar with his name.
“Your lawyer,” he said.
“Oh,” came the reply, short and annoyed. “What do you want?”
“We need to have a discussion about the Prime magazine shoot,” he said.
“Why?” she asked.
“Turn on the six o’clock news,” he said. “I don’t know what kind of reaction you thought you’d get from the shoot, but the kind you are getting isn’t very positive.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Let me read you something. Gold Talk put out an article on your recent debacle. Title: Teen Princess Must Be Dethroned. It goes downhill from there. And this is Gold Talk! They aren’t in the business of dethroning anybody! Everybody’s talking, Ms. Bannock, and they’re all saying the same thing for once.”
“So?”
“So? So you need to do something! Preferably issue an apology to your fans.”
“Why?” Riley Bannock’s voice was starting to become a little agitated.
“To salvage your career,” he said. “Some very influential people are calling for a total boycott of your movie. And these aren’t idle threats for once. If they do issue something, you can bet your little picture show is going to just break even, not earn you much of anything.”
“Just a sec,” Riley Bannock said. There were a few minutes of people talking in the background. He didn’t have to pay attention to know just what was happening. Riley Bannock was asking her friends for advice. This wasn’t a celebrity exclusive tactic. He was fairly certain that most girls her age, heck, most females in general, would rather not make a choice on their own. But he just got more frustrated. He knew what Riley Bannock’s friends would tell her to do. It would not be smart or professional.
“Okay,” Riley Bannock said. “Here’s the thing. You put out one of your little statement things for me. Tell all those f*ckers that it’s just art. Nobody gets mad at Michaelus or any of those sculpture guys for their naked statues.”
“It’s Michelangelo,” he said. “And it’s not the same thing.”
“Oh, yes it is,” Riley Bannock said.
“No it’s not, and here’s why. Michelangelo did not claim that he was a sweet little innocent girl. You however, do. As such, your entire career depends upon that image. It’s what people buy your merchandise for, what they buy your music albums for, why until now they would have gone to see your movie. You need to maintain your image. What you propose to do is not going to do that. You need to make an apology.”
“F*ck no! I’ve got nothing to be sorry for!”
“If you want to keep making money you do.”
“I can do what I want with my body! Besides, it’s not like you can see tit in any of the shots. They can’t prove it was a nude photo shoot.”
“The people at Prime can. And they would. They get more publicity if your movie goes down the tube because of them. You can bet they’ll be jumping all over this.”
There was another pause. He guessed that it was her just getting real pissed now. Great.
“Just what is everybody’s problem?” Riley Bannock finally asked. “I mean, can’t I just do one thing without everybody blowing up about it? They’re ***holes, that’s what it is. They’re all just a bunch of ***holes.”
“No, they’re your fans. They’re the people who want the same sweet innocence they saw when you were on the Disney Channel. And if you don’t deliver, they’re also the people who will dismiss you as quick as they can.”
“No they won’t,” Riley Bannock said.
“Yes they will,” he replied. “Ever heard of Corey & Cory?”
“No.”
“My point exactly. They used to be big back in the eighties. But then they just fell out. And they didn’t even do anything to make anybody angry. Whether you like it or not, the little people have a lot of power.”
“Whatever, they’ll just forget it.”
“They will forget. It’ll just be you they forget.”
“Okay, look. Just write up what I told you to write up and give it out. You’re my lawyer, that’s what I pay you for.”
“No, you pay me to maintain your image. For me to issue the statement you want me to would, in my eyes, be a breach of contract.”
There was more silence. She was past real pissed now. God have mercy on whoever had to spend the rest of the day with her.
“Make out the statement. Do it, and make it sound good. You can do that, can’t you? You can. Tell them they’re all wrong. They’ll believe it. They’ll believe me.”
Now he was past real frustrated. This was not going to get any farther. He wasn’t going be able to get her to see the logic in this thing. A thought entered into his head. For a moment he almost dismissed it. But a little voice in his head told him not to. ‘See where it would take you,’ it said.
“Is that your final decision?” he asked Riley Bannock. “Because if it is, then I will have no choice but to drop you from my clientele.”
“You wouldn’t dare,” Riley Bannock said. It was reflex, said without thought.
“I would, and I will. You are quite possibly the most difficult client I have ever had to work with, Ms. Bannock. You used to be my best one. But your antics as of late have been hard on me and all my employees. You are in danger of tarnishing my company’s good name. And that’s something I won’t have.”
“That’s nothing compared to what I’ll do to you if you drop me!” Riley said.
“Nothing you might do can affect me if I drop you. I’ve been in this business longer than you’ve been in yours. I have far more clout than you do, though you might not realize it. People will praise me for dropping you.”
He could almost feel Riley Bannock’s rage through the telephone. Good, he thought to himself, maybe this’ll show her to straighten up.
“Just shut up and make the statement!” Riley Bannock said. Then again, maybe it wouldn’t.
“Very well, I will make up a statement,” he said. “But it’ll say that Parcher Legal dropped Riley Bannock because of incompatibility due to her erratic behavior.”
“You’re just in this for yourself,” Riley Bannock said after a little pause.
“Who isn’t? Not everybody cares about you, though it might seem like they do. As of now, considered your contract with us terminated. Goodbye, Ms. Bannock. I’m sorry it had to come to this.”
He hung up the phone before she could say anything. For a moment he just sat there. What have I done? he asked himself. He had just dropped one of his biggest clients ever. It hit him, and it made him laugh. Until a minute ago, he had never thought he would do this. It was wild, random; something that lawyers specialized in not doing. And yet, it felt good. He honestly felt much better now. That afternoon boat excursion would be well deserved.
“Mrs. Holiday, prepare me a statement,” he said. “And in this statement, say that Parcher Legal has severed all ties to its former client Riley Bannock. Say that we have chosen to drop her because of incompatibility due to her erratic and foolhardy behavior as of late.”
He was a man of his word.
Gender:
Points: 15698
Reviews: 369