Young Writers Society

Chapter One
The Canaby Sisters


The witches Madeline, Rose, and Sarah Canaby formed a circle, raising their right hands, and began shouting their names.

"MADELINE," a blue beam of sparkling light came from her hand and stopped five feet above them.

"ROSE", a red beam of sparkling light came from her hand and joined Madeline’s.

"SARAH," a green beam of sparkling light came from her hand and joined with Madeline and Rose’s. Just then, all of their powers intertwined and formed an orb that started to grow and electrify.

“It’s time for the spell of future sight,” said Madeline.

“Let us begin; there’s no time to waste,” said Sarah. With that, they began to say the spell in unison:

Future sight is what we inquire
Future sight is what we desire
Let us look through time and space
To see the holy chosen face

The orb cleared, like clouds moving to show the moon, and everything was still. The sisters watched to see the face they would soon be giving their powers to, expecting an adult, strong enough to take on all of their powers. They were shocked to see a mere infant, not even a month old in a small white and pink bed. They assumed it was a girl because of this and the name painted on top of the bed: Lily. To the Canaby sisters, this seemed like a whimsical, weak name, but they didn’t have a clue of how powerful she would become. Lily was the chosen one after all, born to the king and queen of Topia two weeks in the future.

The Canaby sisters were far from the land of Topia and had to act quickly if they were to bless the child with the gifts of inner sight, knowing, and control before midnight of her birth. These gifts were the powers of the Canaby sisters. Madeline had the gift of inner sight, a gift which saved her life in many occasions. She also saved others with this power, a powerful gift indeed. Rose had the gift of knowing, which was very useful in her past endeavors. She knew what every answer was without question; she had the most confidence naturally. Finally, Sarah had the gift of control, which was the most active power of the sisters. She could bend the will of others and make them do anything with ease, something not even the strongest of other spells could do. Sarah was the strongest of the three sisters and the most mature, which is why such a great power didn’t twist her soul or mind to evil.

The Canaby sisters were to leave immediately if they were to get there in two weeks time. Madeline, Rose, and Sarah packed their belongings in black leather trunks. They each put in their own personal spell book and a communication mirror in which they could talk back and forth if they ever separated. Also in the trunk were their unique gowns and other miscellaneous clothing. The last thing each of them carried was a collection of potions, from rapid healing potions to deadly exploding potions. The Canaby sisters were well-prepared for the long treacherous journey that was ahead of them. The last thing they had to do before going was to shrink their trunks so they could carry them more easily.

“Sisters” “said Madeline” “join me in the spell”

Make the desired objects shrink
The trunks are what we think
From big to small
From heavy to light
This is what we want tonight

The trunks lying on the wooden, dusty floor glowed with golden lights for a moment then shrank to the size of a rat. They picked up their trunks and headed down their creaky stairway and to the closet to get their flying staffs. The flying staffs were just thin wooden poles that were charmed by the Canaby sisters to fly, Madeline opened the closet door and reached through the collective hanged clothing and grabbed the staffs. She gave Rose and Sarah theirs and kept hers clutched in her hand. She looked around the room, saying goodbye to it and the house that she loved so much. Madeline, Rose, and Sarah would probably never see the Canaby Manor again if the prophecy that brought them to give up their powers had anything to say about it. Since receiving the prophecy a month ago through a seer the Canaby sisters questioned if they should give up their beloved powers to save the world a few hundred years in the future, but they knew they must.

Ready to go, they passed through the doorway of the manor for the last time. The air outside was a cold, breathless type of air that made the sisters weary, Rose knew that something wasn’t right. Just then Madeline gasped with her head looking up at the stars; the sisters knew she was having a premonition. In the moments of Madeline’s premonition Rose and Sarah stopped to look at their surroundings, there was a dark alley with a little torch on the wall to give a minor amount of light. Also there were a few buildings, but most of windows had broken out. Another distinct characteristic was an ominous dark figure about two hundred feet in the sky floating down towards them.

Madeline came back to normal and said “Sisters, hurry! I just saw our cousin Ruby coming to attack us.”

“We know that already,” said Sarah, “there she is," Sarah had her finger pointed at the figure they saw before.

Ruby was the evil member of the family that had betrayed them years ago. She had the power to freeze anything solid with a thrust of her hand, so the Canaby sisters where so afraid of her.

“Sisters, let's go, we have to leave before she comes near us” said Rose.

“NO, I’m tired of running from our traitor cousin; she killed our father, now it’s time to get even.” said Madeline, “I’m killing her like she killed our father, and if you don’t help me, you're just as much a traitor as she is.” Ruby was about fifty feet in the sky and still descending, and Madeline wasn’t going to waste time. She started to say the forbidden spell to kill a witch:

I call upon thee
To give me the key
To end a witches life
Strip them from strife
To end their ……

“NO!” shouted Sarah, "You know why that spell is forbidden, it puts an endless curse on you!"

"I don’t care!" cried Madeline "She killed our father for his power and now I’ll finally kill her, after all these years!"

“There’s an easier way.” said Sarah. She took her trunk from her pocket and brought it back to normal size with a wave of her hand. Then she unlatched the locks, flung the lid of it open and reached for a vial of exploding potion. Ruby was now on the ground about forty feet away from them, her long black hair and her pale white face shined in the moonlight. Her dark blue tunic hid her body in the darkness as she approached.

“Hello, my darling cousins.” Ruby said in a shrill voice. long time no see, eh?" she started to laugh. Sarah had the vial of exploding potion clutched in her hand, but Ruby was still unaware of it. All of the Canaby sisters looked at her as she came closer.

“You know,” said Ruby, "I enjoyed watching your father take his last breathe as I shoved the dagger through his beating heart. His eyes were so shocked when he saw that I had done it, he couldn’t believe it."

Madeline let out a shriek of hate that filled the midnight air,

“What are you going to do, Madeline? Hurt me?” said Ruby. "You never could defeat me, and now that I have your father’s power, or should I say, my power you’ll never defeat me!"

“You're right, Ruby, I could never defeat you by myself, but now I have my sisters with me.” said Madeline. “Sarah, the potion, now!”

Sarah threw the potion as hard as she could in the direction of Ruby but it was all in vain, Ruby thrust her hand at the potion and it froze solid, making a shattering noise as it broke on the hard ground. Ruby looked at the frozen, bottle-shaped potion that lay on the ground before her, "trying to get rid of me with a potion” Ruby snickered, "You’ll have to use more than that.

“Sarah, use your power, control her!” said Madeline.

“You know I don’t like to use it[/b],[/b] Madeline,” said Sarah.

“USE IT!” shouted Madeline. “USE IT NOW OR WE’LL DIE!”

“You wouldn’t dare control me, you couldn’t if you tried,” said Ruby, “once I’m finished with you three, I’ll have your powers and be the most powerful witch in the cosmos!” She started to raise her hand, and that’s when the sisters began to get scared. Ruby put her elbow back, and was starting to thrust when Sarah shot out a green, steady stream of light that engulfed Ruby and made her quit in her tracks, she was still and could not move or speak.

“Rose, Madeline, put your auras on Ruby, I think I have a way to get rid of her without cursing ourselves,” said Sarah. Without another word, a red and blue beam of light shot past Sarah and engulfed ruby, just like before all of their powers combined started to electrify and grow into an orb. Ruby was in the center of the force field type orb and couldn't get out; she was starting to regret coming here in the first place.

“Sisters,” said Sarah, “I think if we use our combined powers we can send Ruby into an astral plane that there would be no escaping from. We’ll have to improvise a spell. Repeat the spell after I get done, three times over should be enough.”

Energy in the orb
Vanish to the unseen
Go where the spirits scream
Forever you’ll live morbidly

Madeline, Rose, and Sarah said the spell three times in unison and with a bright glow of the orb and a cracking noise, ruby vanished. Although one thing stayed behind: the power to freeze things solid was floating six feet from the ground, calm. The Canaby sisters stood there quizzically, pondering what to do with it.

“I know what we should do with it.” said Rose. “We should bottle it in case we need it in the future, we could each have some.”

“Good idea.” said Madeline. “Good idea.”

The air outside was a cold, breathless type of air that made the sisters weary,

Chapter One
The Canaby Sisters


The witches Madeline, Rose, and Sarah Canaby formed a circle, raising their right hands, and began shouting their names.

"MADELINE," a blue beam of sparkling light came from her hand and stopped five feet above them.

"ROSE", a red beam of sparkling light came from her hand and joined Madeline’s.

"SARAH," a green beam of sparkling light came from her hand and joined with Madeline and Rose’s. Just then, all of their powers intertwined and formed an orb that started to grow and electrify.

“It’s time for the spell of future sight,” said Madeline.

“Let us begin; there’s no time to waste,” said Sarah. With that, they began to say the spell in unison:

Future sight is what we inquire
Future sight is what we desire
Let us look through time and space
To see the holy chosen face

The orb cleared, like clouds moving to show the moon, and everything was still. The sisters watched to see the face they would soon be giving their powers to, expecting an adult, strong enough to take on all of their powers. They were shocked to see a mere infant, not even a month old in a small white and pink bed. They assumed it was a girl because of this and the name painted on top of the bed: Lily. To the Canaby sisters, this seemed like a whimsical, weak name, but they didn’t have a clue of how powerful she would become. Lily was the chosen one after all, born to the king and queen of Topia two weeks in the future.

The Canaby sisters were far from the land of Topia and had to act quickly if they were to bless the child with the gifts of inner sight, knowing, and control before midnight of her birth. These gifts were the powers of the Canaby sisters. Madeline had the gift of inner sight, a gift which saved her life in many occasions. She also saved others with this power, a powerful gift indeed. Rose had the gift of knowing, which was very useful in her past endeavors. She knew what every answer was without question; she had the most confidence naturally. Finally, Sarah had the gift of control, which was the most active power of the sisters. She could bend the will of others and make them do anything with ease, something not even the strongest of other spells could do. Sarah was the strongest of the three sisters and the most mature, which is why such a great power didn’t twist her soul or mind to evil.

The Canaby sisters were to leave immediately if they were to get there in two weeks time. Madeline, Rose, and Sarah packed their belongings in black leather trunks. They each put in their own personal spell book and a communication mirror in which they could talk back and forth if they ever separated. Also in the trunk were their unique gowns and other miscellaneous clothing. The last thing each of them carried was a collection of potions, from rapid healing potions to deadly exploding potions. The Canaby sisters were well-prepared for the long treacherous journey that was ahead of them. The last thing they had to do before going was to shrink their trunks so they could carry them more easily.

“Sisters” “said Madeline” “join me in the spell”

Make the desired objects shrink
The trunks are what we think
From big to small
From heavy to light
This is what we want tonight

The trunks lying on the wooden, dusty floor glowed with golden lights for a moment then shrank to the size of a rat. They picked up their trunks and headed down their creaky stairway and to the closet to get their flying staffs. The flying staffs were just thin wooden poles that were charmed by the Canaby sisters to fly, Madeline opened the closet door and reached through the collective hanged clothing and grabbed the staffs. She gave Rose and Sarah theirs and kept hers clutched in her hand. She looked around the room, saying goodbye to it and the house that she loved so much. Madeline, Rose, and Sarah would probably never see the Canaby Manor again if the prophecy that brought them to give up their powers had anything to say about it. Since receiving the prophecy a month ago through a seer the Canaby sisters questioned if they should give up their beloved powers to save the world a few hundred years in the future, but they knew they must.

Ready to go, they passed through the doorway of the manor for the last time. The air outside was a cold, breathless type of air that made the sisters weary, Rose knew that something wasn’t right. Just then Madeline gasped with her head looking up at the stars; the sisters knew she was having a premonition. In the moments of Madeline’s premonition Rose and Sarah stopped to look at their surroundings, there was a dark alley with a little torch on the wall to give a minor amount of light. Also there were a few buildings, but most of windows had broken out. Another distinct characteristic was an ominous dark figure about two hundred feet in the sky floating down towards them.

Madeline came back to normal and said “Sisters, hurry! I just saw our cousin Ruby coming to attack us.”

“We know that already,” said Sarah, “there she is," Sarah had her finger pointed at the figure they saw before.

Ruby was the evil member of the family that had betrayed them years ago. She had the power to freeze anything solid with a thrust of her hand, so the Canaby sisters where so afraid of her.

“Sisters, let's go, we have to leave before she comes near us” said Rose.

“NO, I’m tired of running from our traitor cousin; she killed our father, now it’s time to get even.” said Madeline, “I’m killing her like she killed our father, and if you don’t help me, you're just as much a traitor as she is.” Ruby was about fifty feet in the sky and still descending, and Madeline wasn’t going to waste time. She started to say the forbidden spell to kill a witch:

I call upon thee
To give me the key
To end a witches life
Strip them from strife
To end their ……

“NO!” shouted Sarah, "You know why that spell is forbidden, it puts an endless curse on you!"

"I don’t care!" cried Madeline "She killed our father for his power and now I’ll finally kill her, after all these years!"

“There’s an easier way.” said Sarah. She took her trunk from her pocket and brought it back to normal size with a wave of her hand. Then she unlatched the locks, flung the lid of it open and reached for a vial of exploding potion. Ruby was now on the ground about forty feet away from them, her long black hair and her pale white face shined in the moonlight. Her dark blue tunic hid her body in the darkness as she approached.

“Hello, my darling cousins.” Ruby said in a shrill voice. long time no see, eh?" she started to laugh. Sarah had the vial of exploding potion clutched in her hand, but Ruby was still unaware of it. All of the Canaby sisters looked at her as she came closer.

“You know,” said Ruby, "I enjoyed watching your father take his last breathe as I shoved the dagger through his beating heart. His eyes were so shocked when he saw that I had done it, he couldn’t believe it."

Madeline let out a shriek of hate that filled the midnight air,

“What are you going to do, Madeline? Hurt me?” said Ruby. "You never could defeat me, and now that I have your father’s power, or should I say, my power you’ll never defeat me!"

“You're right, Ruby, I could never defeat you by myself, but now I have my sisters with me.” said Madeline. “Sarah, the potion, now!”

Sarah threw the potion as hard as she could in the direction of Ruby but it was all in vain, Ruby thrust her hand at the potion and it froze solid, making a shattering noise as it broke on the hard ground. Ruby looked at the frozen, bottle-shaped potion that lay on the ground before her, "trying to get rid of me with a potion” Ruby snickered, "You’ll have to use more than that.

“Sarah, use your power, control her!” said Madeline.

“You know I don’t like to use it, Madeline,” said Sarah.

“USE IT!” shouted Madeline. “USE IT NOW OR WE’LL DIE!”

“You wouldn’t dare control me, you couldn’t if you tried,” said Ruby, “once I’m finished with you three, I’ll have your powers and be the most powerful witch in the cosmos!” She started to raise her hand, and that’s when the sisters began to get scared. Ruby put her elbow back, and was starting to thrust when Sarah shot out a green, steady stream of light that engulfed Ruby and made her quit in her tracks, she was still and could not move or speak.

“Rose, Madeline, put your auras on Ruby, I think I have a way to get rid of her without cursing ourselves,” said Sarah. Without another word, a red and blue beam of light shot past Sarah and engulfed ruby, just like before all of their powers combined started to electrify and grow into an orb. Ruby was in the center of the force field type orb and couldn't get out; she was starting to regret coming here in the first place.

“Sisters,” said Sarah, “I think if we use our combined powers we can send Ruby into an astral plane that there would be no escaping from. We’ll have to improvise a spell. Repeat the spell after I get done, three times over should be enough.”

Energy in the orb
Vanish to the unseen
Go where the spirits scream
Forever you’ll live morbidly

Madeline, Rose, and Sarah said the spell three times in unison and with a bright glow of the orb and a cracking noise, ruby vanished. Although one thing stayed behind: the power to freeze things solid was floating six feet from the ground, calm. The Canaby sisters stood there quizzically, pondering what to do with it.

“I know what we should do with it.” said Rose. “We should bottle it in case we need it in the future, we could each have some.”

“Good idea.” said Madeline. “Good idea.”

Another distinct characteristic was an ominous dark figure about two hundred feet in the sky floating down towards them.

“sisters hurry I just saw our cousin Ruby coming to attack us.”

To the Canaby sisters, this seemed like a whimsical, weak name, …

… but they didn’t have a clue of how powerful she would become.

They assumed it was a girl because of this and the name painted on top of the bed: Lily.

“Sisters” “said Madeline” “join me in the spell”

“Sisters, let's go, we have to leave before she comes near us” said Rose.

“You know I don’t like to use it, Madeline,” said Sarah.

“You know,” said Ruby, "I enjoyed watching your father take his last breathe as I shoved the dagger through his beating heart. His eyes were so shocked when he saw that I had done it, he couldn’t believe it."

The air outside was a cold, breathless type of air that made the sisters weary …

The witches Madeline, Rose, and Sarah Canaby [I would consider changing this to the sister witches] formed a circle[new sentence here otherwise its gonna get long] raising[change this to the perfect tense, so it becomes 'they raised'] their right hands and began shouting their names[new sentence again] MADELINE,[I would suggest putting a colon after each sister's name] a blue beam of sparkling light came from her hand and stopped five feet above them.[It seems kind of weird having an exact measurment in fiction, I think you should just put 'in the air above thier heads'] ROSE, a red beam of sparkling light came from her hand and joined Madeline’s. SARAH, a green beam of sparkling light came from her hand and joined with Madeline and rose’s. [s]Just then[/s][I don't think the 'just then' is nessecary, ruins the flow of the sentence] all of their powers intertwined and formed an orb that started to grow and electrify. “It’s time for the spell of future sight” “said Madeline” “let us begin there’s no time to waste” “said Sarah”. [I won't point out any of the speech mark problems, as a lot of people have said them already] With that they began to say the spell in unison:

The orb cleared like clouds moving to show the moon, everything was still.[What was still?] The sisters watched to see the face they would soon be giving their powers to,[New sentence] expecting an adult strong enough to take on all of their powers , they were shocked to see a mere infant, not even a month old in a small white and pink bed. They assumed it was a girl because of this and also a name painted on top of the bed which read Lily. To the Canaby sisters this seemed like a whimsical, weak name but they didn’t have a clue of how powerful she would become. Lily was the chosen one after all, born by the king and queen of Topia two weeks in the future.[I didn't really understand this bit :/]

The Canaby sisters were far from the land of Topia and had to act quickly if they were to bless the child with the gifts of inner sight, knowing, and control before midnight of her birth. These gifts were the powers of the Canaby sisters. Madeline had the gift of inner sight a gift which saved her life in many occasions. She also saved others with this power, a powerful gift indeed.[I would change sentence order, and put 'a powerful gift indeed' at the start of describing her powers then go onto to describe how it saved lives] Rose had the gift of knowing which was very useful in her past endeavors. She knew what every answer was without question; she had the most confidence naturally.[I thought breaking this sentence up with a semi-colon was a great idea but I would switch it to 'naturally she had the most confidence' it flows better]

Finally Sarah, [s]she[/s][unnessecary] had the gift of control, which was the most active power of the sisters. She could bend the will of others and make them do anything with ease, not even the strongest spell could do that. Sarah was the strongest of the three sisters and the most mature which is why such a great power didn’t twist her soul or mind to evil.[This sentence sounded childishly constructed] The Canaby sisters were to leave immediately if they were to get there in two weeks time.

[s]Madeline, Rose, and Sarah[/s][Just make this they] packed their belongings in black leather trunks[new sentence] they each put in their own personal spell book and a communication mirror in which they could talk back and forth if they ever separated. Also in the trunk make this a pluralwere their unique gowns and other miscellaneous clothing. The last thing each of them had in their trunk was a collection of potions including from[pick one, is it 'including' or 'from' it can't be both] rapid healing potions to deadly exploding potions.

The trunks lying on the wooden, dusty floor glowed with golden lights for a moment then shrank to the size of a rat. They picked up their trunks and headed down [s]their[/s]THE creaky stairway. And which creaky stairway? Where did it go from and to? creaky stairway and to the closet to get their flying staffs. The flying staffs were just wooden, thin poles that were charmed by the Canaby sisters to fly,[new sentence] Madeline opened the closet door and reached through the collective hanged clothing and grabbed the staffs.

She gave Rose and Sarah theirs and kept hers clutched in her hand, looking around the room she said goodbye to the room[I'm not too sure what you'd do here but having 'room' twice in the one sentence sounds bad] and the house that she loved so much. Madeline, Rose, and Sarah would probably never see the Canaby Manor again if the prophecy that brought them to give up their powers had anything to do with it. Since receiving the prophecy a month ago by a seer the Canaby sisters questioned if they should give up their beloved powers to save the world a few hundred years in the future, but they knew they must. Ready to go, the Canaby sisters passed through the door way of the manor for the last time. [I'd like more information about this prophecy!]

The air outside was [s]a cold, breathless type of air [/s][Simply: cold and breathless]that made the sisters weary,new sentence Rose knew that something wasn’t right. Just then Madeline gasped with her head looking up at the stars; the sisters knew she was having a premonition. In the moments of Madeline’s premonition[full stop] Rose and Sarah stopped to look at their surroundings, there was a dark alley with a little torch on the wall to give a minor amount of light.

Also there were a few buildings, but most of windows had broken out.[Another babyish sounding sentence] Another distinct characteristic[This made it sound essay-ish, the use of 'charateristic'] was an ominous dark figure about two hundred feet in the sky floating down towards them. Madeline came back to normal and said “sisters hurry I just saw our cousin Ruby coming to attack us.” “We know that already” said Sarah “there she is, Sarah had her finger pointed at the figure they saw before. Ruby was the evil member of the family that had betrayed them years ago. Ruby had the power to freeze anything solid with a thrust of her hand, so that’s why the Canaby sisters where so afraid of her.

“Sisters lets go, we have to leave before she comes near us” said rose. “ NO, I’m tired of running from our traitor cousin; she killed our father now it’s time to get even.” “Said Madeline” “I’m killing her like she killed our father and if you don’t help me your just as much a traitor as she is.” Ruby was about fifty feet in the sky and still descending and Madeline wasn’t going to waste time. She started to say[don't use the infinitive here, use the imperfect] the forbidden spell to kill a witch:

Ruby was now on the ground about forty feet away from them, her long black hair and her pale white face shined in the moon light. Her dark blue tunic hid her body in the darkness as she approached. “Hello my darling cousins” “ruby said in a shrill voice” long time no see eh, she started to laugh. Sarah had the vile of exploding potion clutched in her hand that ruby had no clue was there. This sentence didn't make sense]All of the Canaby sisters looked at her as she came closer.

“You know” “said ruby I enjoyed watching your father take his last breathe as I shoved the dagger through his beating heart. His eyes were so shocked when he saw [s]that[/s][what] I had done [s]it[/s], he couldn’t believe it. Madeline let out a shriek of hate that filled the midnight air, “what are you going to do Madeline, hurt me?” Said ruby” you never could defeat me, and now that I have your father’s power, or should I say my power you’ll never defeat[different verb from 'defeat' perhaps? me!

“Rose, Madeline put your auras on ruby, I think I have a way to get rid of her without cursing ourselves” “said Sarah”. Without another word a red and blue beam of light shot past Sarah and engulfed ruby, just like before all of their powers combined started[use the perfect participle here as opposed to the perfect tense to electrify and grow into an orb. Ruby was in the center of the force field type orb that she couldn’t get out of; she started to regret coming there. “Sisters” “said Sarah” “I think if we use our combined powers we can send ruby into an astral plane that there would be no escaping from”. “We’ll have to improvise a spell” “said Sarah” ““repeat the spell after I get done, three times over should be enough”

wisemann210 wrote:Chapter one
The Canaby sisters


The witches Madeline, Rose, no comma and Sarah Canaby formed a circlecomma raising their right hands and began shouting their names MADELINE,"Madeline!" would look better. Plus, I prefer "Madeleine" but that's just preference/ a blue beam of sparkling light came from her hand and stopped five feet above them. ROSE, "Rose!" a red beam [s]of sparkling light[/s] came from her hand and joined Madeline’s. SARAH, "Sarah!" a green beam of [s]sparkling light [/s]came from her hand and joined with Madeline and Rose’s. Just then all of their powers intertwined and formed an orb that started to grow and electrify. “It’s time for the spell of future sight," said Madeline.
"Let us begin there’s no time to waste," said Sarah. With that they began to say the spell in unison:

Speech marks and perhaps italics here?Future sight is what we inquire
Future sight is what we desire
Let us look through time and space
To see the holy chosen face

The sisters watched to see the face they would soon be giving their powers to, expecting an adult strong enough to take on all of their powersno space before the comma , they were shocked to see a mere infant, not even a month old in a small white and pink bed. They assumed it was a girl because of this and also a name painted on top of the bed which read Lily. Awkward phrasing. Describe the cot altogether, don't mention that it was a girl. Say something along the lines of "a mere infant, not even a month old. It was lying in a small pink and white cradle, the name "Lily" expertly painted at the head."To the Canaby sisters this seemed like a whimsical, weak name One of them's called Rose . Sorry, I'm just being irritating born by the king and queen of Topia two weeks in the future. Huh?

The Canaby sisters were far from the land of Topia and had to act quickly if they were to bless the child with the gifts of inner sight, knowing, no comma and control before midnight of her birth. These gifts were the powers of the Canaby sisters. Madeline had the gift of inner sight a gift which saved her life in many occasions. She also saved others with this power, a powerful gift indeed. Rose had the gift of knowing which was very useful in her past endeavors. She knew what every answer was without question; she had the most confidence naturally.

Finally Sarah, she had the gift of control, which was the most active power of the sisters. She could bend the will of others and make them do anything with ease, not even the strongest spell could do that. Sarah was the strongest of the three sisters and the most mature which is why such a great power didn’t twist her soul or mind to evil. The Canaby sisters were to leave immediately if they were to get there in two weeks time.

Madeline, Rose, and Sarah packed their belongings in black leather trunks they each put in their own personal spell book and a communication mirror in which they could talk back and forth if they ever separated. Also in the trunk were their unique gowns and other miscellaneous clothing. The last thing each of them had in their trunk was a collection of potions including from rapid healing potions to deadly exploding potions.

The Canaby sisters were well prepared for their long treacherous journey that was ahead of them. The last thing they had to do before going was to shrink their trunks so they could carry them more easily. “Sisters” “said Madeline” “join me in the spell”

Make the desired objects shrink
The trunks are what we think
From big to small
From heavy to light
This is what we want tonight

The trunks lying on the wooden, dusty floor glowed with golden lights for a moment then shrank to the size of a rat. They picked up their trunks and headed down their creaky stairway and to the closet to get their flying staffs. The flying staffs were just wooden, thin poles that were charmed by the Canaby sisters to fly, Madeline opened the closet door and reached through the collective hanged clothing and grabbed the staffs.

She gave Rose and Sarah theirs and kept hers clutched in her hand, looking around the room she said goodbye to the room and the house that she loved so much. Madeline, Rose, and Sarah would probably never see the Canaby Manor again if the prophecy that brought them to give up their powers had anything to do with it. Since receiving the prophecy a month ago by a seer the Canaby sisters questioned if they should give up their beloved powers to save the world a few hundred years in the future, but they knew they must. Ready to go, the Canaby sisters passed through the door way of the manor for the last time.

The air outside was a cold, breathless type of air that made the sisters weary, Rose knew that something wasn’t right. Just then Madeline gasped with her head looking up at the stars; the sisters knew she was having a premonition. In the moments of Madeline’s premonition Rose and Sarah stopped to look at their surroundings, there was a dark alley with a little torch on the wall to give a minor amount of light.

Also there were a few buildings, but most of windows had broken out. Another distinct characteristic was an ominous dark figure about two hundred feet in the sky floating down towards them. Madeline came back to normal and said “sisters hurry I just saw our cousin Ruby coming to attack us.” “We know that already” said Sarah “there she is, Sarah had her finger pointed at the figure they saw before. Ruby was the evil member of the family that had betrayed them years ago. Ruby had the power to freeze anything solid with a thrust of her hand, so that’s why the Canaby sisters where so afraid of her.

“Sisters lets go, we have to leave before she comes near us” said rose. “ NO, I’m tired of running from our traitor cousin; she killed our father now it’s time to get even.” “Said Madeline” “I’m killing her like she killed our father and if you don’t help me your just as much a traitor as she is.” Ruby was about fifty feet in the sky and still descending and Madeline wasn’t going to waste time. She started to say the forbidden spell to kill a witch:

I call upon thee
To give me the key
To end a witches life
Strip them from strife
To end their ……

“NO!” “Shouted Sarah” you know why that spell is forbidden, it puts an endless curse on you!
I don’t care cried Madeline she killed our father for his power and now I’ll finally kill her, after all these years! “There’s an easier way” “said Sarah” she took her trunk from her pocket and brought it back to normal size with a wave of her hand. Then she unlatched the locks, flung the lid of it open and reached for a vile of exploding potion.

Ruby was now on the ground about forty feet away from them, her long black hair and her pale white face shined in the moon light. Her dark blue tunic hid her body in the darkness as she approached. “Hello my darling cousins” “ruby said in a shrill voice” long time no see eh, she started to laugh. Sarah had the vile of exploding potion clutched in her hand that ruby had no clue was there. All of the Canaby sisters looked at her as she came closer.

“You know” “said ruby I enjoyed watching your father take his last breathe as I shoved the dagger through his beating heart. His eyes were so shocked when he saw that I had done it, he couldn’t believe it. Madeline let out a shriek of hate that filled the midnight air, “what are you going to do Madeline, hurt me?” Said ruby” you never could defeat me, and now that I have your father’s power, or should I say my power you’ll never defeat me!

“Your right ruby I could never defeat you by myself but now I have my sisters with me” said Madeline” “Sarah the potion now!” “Yelled Madeline”. Sarah threw the potion as hard as she could in the direction of ruby but it was all in vain, ruby thrust her hand at the potion and it froze solid making a shattering noise as it broke on the hard ground. Ruby looked at the frozen bottle shaped potion that lay on the ground before her,” trying to get rid of me with a potion” “ruby snickered” you’ll have to use more than that. “Sarah use your power, control her!” “Said Madeline” “you know I don’t like to use it Madeline” “said Sarah” “USE IT!” “Shouted Madeline” “USE IT NOW OR WE’LL DIE”.

“You wouldn’t dare control me, you couldn’t if you tried” “said Ruby” “once I’m finished with you three I’ll have your powers and be the most powerful witch in the cosmos” “shrieked ruby”. Ruby started to raise her hand and that’s when the sisters began to get scared, ruby put her elbow back, and was starting to thrust when Sarah shot out a green, steady stream of light that engulfed ruby and made her quit in her tracks, she was still and could not move or speak.

“Rose, Madeline put your auras on ruby, I think I have a way to get rid of her without cursing ourselves” “said Sarah”. Without another word a red and blue beam of light shot past Sarah and engulfed ruby, just like before all of their powers combined started to electrify and grow into an orb. Ruby was in the center of the force field type orb that she couldn’t get out of; she started to regret coming there. “Sisters” “said Sarah” “I think if we use our combined powers we can send ruby into an astral plane that there would be no escaping from”. “We’ll have to improvise a spell” “said Sarah” ““repeat the spell after I get done, three times over should be enough”

Energy in the orb
Vanish to the unseen
Go where the spirits scream
Forever you’ll live morbidly

Madeline, Rose, and Sarah said the spell three times in unison and with a bright glow of the orb and a cracking noise, ruby vanished. Although one thing stayed behind, the power to freeze things solid was floating six feet from the ground, calm. The Canaby sisters stood there quizzically pondering what to do with it. “I know what we should do with it” “Said Rose” “We should bottle it in case we need it in the future, we could each have some”, “Good idea” “Said Madeline” “Good idea”.

wisemann210 wrote:The witches Madeline, Rose, no comma and Sarah Canaby formed a circlecomma raising their right hands and began shouting their names MADELINE,"Madeline!" would look better. Plus, I prefer "Madeleine" but that's just preference/ a blue beam of sparkling light came from her hand and stopped five feet above them. ROSE, "Rose!" a red beam [s]of sparkling light[/s] came from her hand and joined Madeline’s. SARAH, "Sarah!" a green beam of [s]sparkling light [/s]came from her hand and joined with Madeline and Rose’s. Just then all of their powers intertwined and formed an orb that started to grow and electrify. “It’s time for the spell of future sight," said Madeline.
"Let us begin there’s no time to waste," said Sarah. With that they began to say the spell in unison:

Speech marks and perhaps italics here?Future sight is what we inquire
Future sight is what we desire
Let us look through time and space
To see the holy chosen face

The sisters watched to see the face they would soon be giving their powers to, expecting an adult strong enough to take on all of their powersno space before the comma , they were shocked to see a mere infant, not even a month old in a small white and pink bed. They assumed it was a girl because of this and also a name painted on top of the bed which read Lily. Awkward phrasing. Describe the cot altogether, don't mention that it was a girl. Say something along the lines of "a mere infant, not even a month old. It was lying in a small pink and white cradle, the name "Lily" expertly painted at the head."To the Canaby sisters this seemed like a whimsical, weak name One of them's called Rose . Sorry, I'm just being irritating born by the king and queen of Topia two weeks in the future. Huh?

The Canaby sisters were far from the land of Topia and had to act quickly if they were to bless the child with the gifts of inner sight, knowing, no comma and control before midnight of her birth. Rose had the gift of knowing which was very useful in her past endeavours. She knew what every answer was without question; she had the most confidence naturally.

Finally Sarah, she had the gift of control, which was the most active power of the sisters. She could bend the will of others and make them do anything with ease, not even the strongest spell could do that. Sarah was the strongest of the three sisters and the most mature which is why such a great power didn’t twist her soul or mind to evil. The Canaby sisters were to leave immediately if they were to get there in two weeks time. You might want to play around with this paragraph. Your wording is awkward and there’s a great deal of telling instead of showing. The last sentence doesn’t tie in with the rest.

Madeline, Rose, and Sarah packed their belongings in black leather trunks. They each put in their own personal spell book and a communication mirror in which they could talk back and forth if they were ever separated. The last thing each of them had in their trunk was a collection of potions [s]including[/s] from rapid healing potions to deadly exploding potions.

The Canaby sisters were well prepared for [s]their[/s] the long treacherous journey that was ahead of them. The last thing they had to do before going was to shrink their trunks so they could carry them more easily. “Sisters,“ said Madeline. “Join me in the spell.”

Speech marks and italics here Make the desired objects shrink
The trunks are what we think
From big to small
From heavy to light
This is what we want tonight

The trunks lying on the wooden, dusty floor glowed with golden light[s]s[/s] for a moment then shrank to the size of a rat.

In the moments of Madeline’s premonition Rose and Sarah stopped to look at their surroundings, there was a dark alley with a little torch on the wall to give a minor amount of light. Good example of showing, not telling

Another distinct characteristic characteristic? You know as I do that you can come up with a better word than that was an ominous dark figure about two hundred feet up in the sky floating floating? Shouldn't you try a more agressive word? Hurtling, plummeting, soaring? down towards them. Madeline came back to normal and said "Sisters, hurrycomma I just saw our cousin Ruby coming to attack us.”

Always a new paragraph when someone new begins to speak.“We know that alreadycomma here” said Sarah."There she is." New line

Sarah had her finger pointed at the figure they saw before. Ruby was the evil member of the family that had betrayed them years ago. Ruby had the power to freeze anything solid with a thrust of her hand, so that’s why the Canaby sisters where so afraid of her.

“Sisterscomma letapostrophes go, we have to leave before she comes near uscomma” said Rose.New line.

“ NO, I’m tired of running from our traitor cousin; she killed our father now it’s time to get even," said Madeline. “I’m killing her like she killed our father and if you don’t help me you're just as much a traitor as she is.” Ruby was about fifty feet in the sky and still descending and Madeline wasn’t going to waste time. She started to say the forbidden spell to kill a witch:

Speech marks and italics, commas at the end of each line too.I call upon thee
To give me the key
To end a witches life
Strip them from strife
To end their ……

“NO!” shouted Sarah. "You know why that spell is forbidden, it puts an endless curse on you!"
"I don’t care," cried Madeline. "She killed our father for his power and now I’ll finally kill her, after all these years!" new line
“There’s an easier way," said Sarah. She took her trunk from her pocket and brought it back to normal size with a wave of her hand.

Ruby was now on the ground about forty feet away from them, her long black hair and her pale white face shined shone in the moon lightone word.

“Hello my darling cousins," Ruby said in a shrill voice. "Long time no see, eh?" She started to laugh. Sarah had the phial, not vile of exploding potion clutched in her hand that Ruby had no clue was there. All of the Canaby sisters looked at her as she came closer.

“You know," said Ruby. "I enjoyed watching your father take his last breathe no "e" on the end as I shoved the dagger through his beating heart. His eyes were so shocked when he saw that I had done it, he couldn’t believe it."

Madeline let out a shriek of hate that filled the midnight air. "What are you going to do Madeline, hurt me?” said Ruby. "You never could defeat me, and now that I have your father’s power, or should I say my power. new sentence. You’ll never defeat me!"

“You're rightcomma Ruby I could never defeat you by myself but now I have my sisters with me,” said Madeline. “Sarah the potion now!” try just "she yelled". You don't need to mention her name again as she was already speaking. and new line here.

Sarah threw the potion as hard as she could in the direction of [b]Ruby but it was all in vain, Ruby thrust her hand at the potion and it froze solidcomma making a shattering noise as it broke on the hard ground. Ruby looked at the frozen bottle shaped potion that lay on the ground before her. "Trying to get rid of me with a potion," Ruby snickered. "You’ll have to use more than that."new line.

“Sarah use your power, control her!” said Madeline. New line here.

"You know I don’t like to use it Madeline,” said Sarah. New line.

“USE IT!” shouted Madeline. "USE IT NOW OR WE’LL DIE”.

“You wouldn’t dare control me, you couldn’t if you tried,” said Ruby. This statement is slightly contradictory. Shove in a "besides," perhaps? Would make more sense. "Once I’m finished with you three I’ll have your powers and be the most powerful witch in the cosmos,” shrieked Ruby. She started to raise her hand and that’s when the sisters began to get scared, they weren't scared already? Ruby put her elbow back, and was starting to thrust when Sarah shot out a green, steady stream of light that engulfed Ruby and made her quit quit is a very childish word to use in the context in her tracks, she was still and could not move or speak.

“Rose, Madelinecomma put your auras on Ruby, I think I have a way to get rid of her without cursing ourselves,” said Sarah. Without another word a red and blue beam of light red and blue beams of light, surely? shot past Sarah and engulfed ruby, just like before all of their powers combined started to electrify and grow into an orb. Ruby was in the center of the force field type orb that she couldn’t get out of; she started to regret coming there. “Sisters," said Sarah. “I think if we use our combined powers we can send Ruby into an astral plane that there would be no escaping from." New line.

“We’ll have to improvise a spell," said Sarah. “Repeat the spell after I get done, three times over should be enough."

Speech marks, italics and commasEnergy in the orb
Vanish to the unseen
Go where the spirits scream
Forever you’ll live morbidly

Madeline, Rose, no comma and Sarah said the spell three times in unison and with a bright glow of the orb and a cracking noise, Ruby vanished. Although one thing stayed behind, the power to freeze things solid was floating six feet from the ground, calm. The Canaby sisters stood there quizzically pondering what to do with it. “I know what we should do with it," said Rose. "We should bottle it in case we need it in the future, we could each have some." New line.

“Good idea,” said Madeline. “Good idea”.

"Let's go to the shops."

"Let's go to the shops," said John.

"Let's go to the shops," said John. "I want to buy some ice cream."

"Let's go to the shops," said John.

"I want to buy some ice cream."

Anne looked at the boy. He was tall and he had black hair and blue eyes. He smiled. "What do you want?" he asked.

Anne looked up at the tall boy. He smiled at her and flicked his black hair. "What do you want?" he asked, his blue eyes meeting her own.

wisemann210 wrote:Chapter one
The Canaby sisters


The witches Madeline, Rose, and Sarah Canaby formed a circle, rais[s]ing[/s]ed their right hands and began shouting their names. MADELINE! A blue beam of sparkling light came from her hand and stopped five feet above them. ROSE! A red beam of sparkling light came from her hand and joined Madeline’s. SARAH! A green beam of sparkling light came from her hand and joined with Madeline and Rose’s. Okay, you just used the excast same verb three times in a row. Big writing no-no. [s]Just then[/s] All of their powers intertwined and formed an orb that started to grow and electrify. Two problems: this is a run-on sentence, either divide it into two or add punctuation. Electrify is not used correctly, I don’t think. Maybe try it crackled with electricity or something. “It’s time for the spell of future sight,” [s]“[/s]said Madeline[s]”[/s] When a new person talks start a new paragraph. “Let us begin; there’s no time to waste,” [s]“[/s]said Sarah[s]”[/s]. Don’t use said so much. Try replied, urged, added, something different. With that they began to [s]say the spell in unison[/s] I think chanted would be a better word here:

Future sight is what we inquire
Future sight is what we desire
Let us look through time and space
To see the holy chosen face Very creative

The orb cleared [s]like clouds moving to show the moon,[/s] and everything was still. Don’t start two sentences with the same word. Mix it up. The sisters watched to see the face they would soon be giving their powers to. They were expecting an adult strong enough to take on all of their powers , No space before the comma. and they were shocked to see a mere infant, not even a month old, in a small white and pink bed. [s]They assumed it was a girl because of this and also a name painted on top of the bed which read Lily.[/s] This sentence is unnecessary. Reduce it to something like Lily was painted on top of the bed. We’ll get that it’s a girl without you telling us. To the Canaby sisters this seemed like a whimsical, weak name, but they didn’t have a clue [s]of[/s] how powerful she would become. Lily was the chosen one after all, born by the king and queen of Topia two weeks in the future.

The Canaby sisters were far from the land of Topia and had to act quickly if they were to bless the child with the gifts of inner sight, knowing, and control before midnight of her birth. These gifts were the powers of the Canaby sisters. Madeline had the gift of inner sight a gift which saved her life in many occasions. She also saved others with this power, a powerful gift indeed. Rose had the gift of knowing which was very useful in her past endeavors. She knew what every answer was without question; she had the most confidence naturally.

Finally Sarah, she had the gift of control, which was the most active power of the sisters. She could bend the will of others and make them do anything with ease, not even the strongest spell could do that. Sarah was the strongest of the three sisters and the most mature which is why such a great power didn’t twist her soul or mind to evil. The Canaby sisters were to leave immediately if they were to get there in two weeks time. Okay, this is choppy. This is just a suggestion, of course, but here’s an idea of how to make it flow better:
…if they were to bless the child with the gifts, the powers of the sisters before midnight the night of her birth. Madeline had the gift of inner sight, and it had saved her life and the lives of many others before. A powerful gift indeed.
Rose had the gift of knowing, which had turned out very useful in past endeavors. She knew the answer the every question without doubt; and naturally was the most confidant of her sisters.
Finally, Sarah had the gift of control. Hers was the most active power of the sisters. She bend the will of others and make them do anything she wished with ease. Not even the most powerful spell could do that. Sarah was the strongest and most mature of the sisters; she alone could be trusted with the great power and not allow it to twist to soul or mind to evil.

Madeline, Rose, and Sarah packed their belongings in black leather trunks. They each put in their own personal spell book and a communication mirror in which they could talk back and forth if they ever separated. Also in the trunk were their unique gowns and other miscellaneous clothing. The last thing each of them had [s]in their trunk[/s] packed was a collection of potions [s]including[/s] ranging from rapid healing potions to deadly exploding [s]potions[/s] ones.

The Canaby sisters were well prepared for the[s]ir[/s] long, treacherous journey that was ahead of them. The last thing they had to do before going was to shrink their trunks so they could carry them more easily. “Sisters,” [s]“[/s]said Madeline[s]”[/s] “Join me in the spell!”

Make the desired objects shrink
The trunks are what we think This sentence ruins the flow. The syllables are wrong and it doesn’t really make sense. What do you think about the trunks?
From big to small
From heavy to light
This is what we want tonight

The trunks lying on the [s]wooden, dusty[/s] dusty wooden floor glowed with golden light[s]s[/s] for a moment, then shrank to about the size of a rat. They picked up their trunks and headed down the[s]ir[/s] creaky stairway [s]and[/s] to the closet to get their flying staffs[s]. The flying staffs were[/s], which were really just wooden, thin poles [s]that were[/s] charmed by the Canaby sisters to fly, Madeline opened the closet door and reached through the [s]collective[/s] assorted hanged clothing and grabbed the staffs.

She gave Rose and Sarah theirs and kept hers clutched in her hand, looking around [s]the room[/s] she said goodbye to the room and the house that she loved so much. Madeline, Rose, and Sarah would probably never see the Canaby Manor again [s]if the prophecy that brought them to give up their powers had anything to do with it[/s]. Since receiving the prophecy a month ago [s]by a seer[/s] the Canaby sisters questioned if they should give up their beloved powers to save the world a few hundred years in the future, but they knew they must. Ready to go, the Canaby sisters passed through the door way of the manor for the last time.

[s]The air outside was a cold, breathless type of air that made the sisters weary,[/s] Outside, the air was so cold it hurt to breathe, and it quickly made the sisters weary. Rose knew [s]that[/s] something wasn’t right. [s]Just then[/s] Suddenly Madeline gasped[s]with her head looking up at the stars[/s], she was looking up at the stars; the sisters knew she was having a premonition. In the moments of Madeline’s premonition Rose and Sarah stopped to look at their surroundings, Change the comma to a period or semicolon. there was a dark alley with a [s]little[/s] Small sounds more professional. torch on the wall[s] to give a minor amount of light. [/s] that gave off minimal light.

Also there were a few buildings, but most of windows had broken out[s]. Another distinct characteristic[/s] ,and also there was an ominous dark figure about two hundred feet in the sky floating down towards them. Madeline [s]came[/s] snapped back to normal and said, “Sisters hurry; I just saw our cousin Ruby coming to attack us.” New paragraph here

“We know that already,” said Sarah. “There she is.” Sarah had her finger pointed at the figure they saw [s]before[/s] approaching. She is speaking remarkably calm given that they’re about to be attacked. Ruby was the evil member of the family that had betrayed them years ago. Ruby [s]had the power to[/s] could freeze anything solid with a [s]thrust[/s] touch of her hand[s], so that’s why the Canaby sisters where so afraid of her.[/s]; the Canaby sisters feared her.

“Sisters let’s go; we have to leave before she comes near us,” said Don’t use said so much. There are other words you can use. Said gets boring before long. Rose. New paragraph.

“NO! I’m tired of running from our traitor cousin. She killed our father; it’s time to get even.” [s]“[/s]Said Madeline.[s]”[/s] “I’m killing her like she killed our father, and if you don’t help me your just as much a traitor as she is!” Ruby was about fifty feet in the sky and still descending. [s]and[/s] Madeline wasn’t going to waste time. She started to [s]say[/s] speak the Forbidden Spell to kill a witch:

I call upon thee
To give me the key
To end a witches life
Strip them from strife
To end their ……

“NO!” [s]“[/s]Shouted Sarah[s/]” ”You know why that spell is forbidden; it puts an endless curse on you!”
”I don’t care,” cried Madeline. ”She killed our father [s]for his power[/s] I know you tell us that for our knowledge, but it makes the witches less realistic. They would already be assumed to know why Ruby killed their father; she wouldn’t be expected to tell them. and now I’ll finally kill her, after all these years!” New paragraph.

“There’s an easier way.” [s]“[/s]said Sarah.[s]”[/s] She took her trunk from her pocket She must have some pretty big pockets to fit a rat-sized trunk in them. and brought it back to normal size with a wave of her hand. Then she unlatched the locks, flung [s]the lid of it open[/s] open the lid and reached for a vile of exploding potion.

Ruby [s]was now on the ground[/s] had now landed about forty feet away from them, her long black hair and her pale white face shined in the moon light. Her dark blue tunic hid her body in the darkness as she approached. “Hello my darling cousins,” [s]“[/s] Ruby said in a shrill voice. [s]”[/s] ”Long time no see eh?” She started to laugh. Sarah had the vile of exploding potion clutched in her hand [s]that ruby had no clue was there[/s]. All of the Canaby sisters looked at her Who? There’s too many she’s. Use the name here. as she came closer.

“You know,” [s]“[/s]said Ruby. ”I enjoyed watching your father take his last breathe as I shoved the dagger through his beating heart. His eyes were so shocked when he saw that I had done it, he couldn’t believe it.” Madeline let out a shriek of hate that filled Wrong verb. Change it. the midnight air. “What are you going to do Madeline, hurt Too elementary for angered adults. Maybe try kill or something. me?” Said You use said way too much. Here you could use taunted or something. Ruby[s]”[/s] ”You never could defeat me before, and now that I have your father’s power, or should I say my power, you’ll never defeat me!”

“[s]Your[/s] You’re right Ruby; I could never defeat you by myself, but now I have my sisters with me,” [s]said[/s] retorted Madeline[s]”[/s] “Sarah, the potion now!” [s]“[/s]Yelled Madeline[s]”[/s]. Sarah threw the potion as hard as she could in the direction of Ruby,[b] but it was all in vain[b]. Ruby thrust her hand at the potion and it froze solid, making a shattering noise as it broke on the hard ground. Ruby looked at the frozen bottle shaped potion I thought it shattered? that lay on the ground before her.

“Trying to get rid of me with a potion?” [s]“[/s]Ruby snickered[s]”[/s] you’ll have to use more than that.

“Sarah use your power, control her!” [s]“Said[/s] shouted Madeline[s]”[/s]

“You know I don’t like to use it Madeline,[/s]” [s]“said[/s] [b]protested Sarah[s]”[/s]

“USE IT!” [s]“[/s]Shouted Madeline[s]”[/s] “USE IT NOW OR WE’LL DIE!”
Why would she be protesting? I thought hers was the most active power? And besides, their lives are being threatened by the person who killed their father. She should be all for it.

“You wouldn’t dare control me; you couldn’t if you tried,” [s]“said[/s] jeered Ruby[s]”[/s] “Once I’m finished with you three I’ll have your powers and be the most powerful witch in the cosmos!” [s]“[/s]shrieked Ruby[s]”[/s]. Ruby started to raise her hand and [s]that’s when[/d] the sisters began to get scared. Ruby put her elbow back, and was starting to thrust when Sarah shot out a green, steady stream of light that engulfed Ruby. [s]and made her quit in her tracks,[/s] She stopped dead in her tracks; she was still and could not move or speak.

“Rose, Madeline put your auras on Ruby, I think Why does she have to be uncertain? She can ask Rose and they’ll know the answer for sure. I have a way to get rid of her without cursing ourselves,” [s]“[/s]said Sarah[s]”[/s]. Without another word Shouldn’t she explain what they’re doing? Rose might know but Madeline would have no idea what to do. a red and blue beam of light shot past Sarah and engulfed Ruby, just like before all of their powers combined, started to electrify and grow into an orb. Ruby was in the center of [s]the force field type[/s] orb. [s]that she couldn’t get out of;[/s] She couldn’t get out and [s]she[/s] started to regret coming there. “Sisters,” [s]“[/s]said Sarah[s]”[/s]. “I think if we use our combined powers we can send Ruby into an astral plane that there would be no escaping from.”[s].[/s] “We’ll have to improvise a spell,” [s]“said[/s] observed Sarah[s]” “[/s] “Repeat the spell after I get done, three times over should be enough.”

Energy in the orb
Vanish to the unseen
Go where the spirits scream
Forever you’ll live morbidly

Madeline, Rose, and Sarah said the spell [s]three times[/s] thrice in unison and with a bright glow of the orb and a cracking noise, Ruby vanished. Although one thing stayed behind: the power to freeze things solid was floating six feet from the ground, calm. The Canaby sisters stood there quizzically pondering what to do with it. “I know what we should do with it,” [s]“S[/s] said Rose[s]”[/s] “We should bottle it in case we need it in the future; we could each have some.”[s],[/s]

“Good idea,” [s]“S[/s]said Madeline[s]”[/s] “Good idea.”[s].[/s] [s]:D[/s]