Male Made Of Twigs

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Wicker Man
* (out of four)

Oh jeez, another horror movie remake? Come on, filmmakers, can't you understand that remakes suck? The Omen...Amityville Horror...The Hills Have Eyes...Texas Chainsaw Massacre. While it is normal to see many mainstream movies remade, it is unusual to see a new version of a cult film. Why, oh why did they have to ramake 'Wicker Man'. The 1973 version was great; there's nothing to improve, Nicolas.

The original film was eerie, and exposed people to a strange alternative universe where nothing really made sense. This 70's classic, directed by Robin Hardy, also inspired the Labor Day weekend event 'Burning Man', a yearly ritual set in the desert where people (you guessed it) burn a giant wicker/wood man.

So, now, we have the remake. The utterly absurd idea for the new film came from Mr. Cage himself. There are virtually no similarities between this movie, and the old version that Anthony Shaffer wrote.

In this one, Cage portrays Edward Malus, a police officer who witnesses a terrible car accident (as seen in the trailer). He goes into extensive emotional trauma, and while recovering, he receives a letter from his ex asking him to visit her in Washington. Malus embarks on the journey, and finds himself mixed up with an abnormal cult. There are some more unimportant details that follow, along with a couple 'scary' moments here and there, but they really are too unimportant to mention.

In conclusion, 'Wicker Man' was...not so good. But if you like M. Night Shymalan-like plot twists, you might actually enjoy it for...a while. Probably a couple minutes near the end. But if you don't want to spend eight bucks, you could always look for it at your local library (when it comes out of DVD/VHS, of course), or you could rent it. But really, you should save that money for say, a nose job or a bomb shelter.

The one thing that puzzled me was seeing at the end (in the credits) that this film was dedicated to Johnny Ramone (of the Ramones).
Gotta a find a woman be good to me,
Who won't hide my liquor, try to serve me tea.




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Yeah, when I saw this movie advertised I thought it wouldn't turn out all that well...

Still, I'm actually rather easily amused when it comes to horror movies, so I may actually like it ;).
I wrote the above just for you.




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i totally agree with you. the remake really sucked, and kinda ruined the old version for me. The Wicker Man is one of my favorite cult horror films and i almost shot myself when i saw the new version was being made...God, that just SUCKED! i need time to comfort myself...DAMN YOU MR. CAGE!! @_@ must...blot out eyes... *kicks random object*
The Gryphon said, "It's all in the Queen's mind-they never cut off anyone's head, you know."

-Alice In WonderLand (Lewis Carrol)




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[quote="Heather_BlackCain"]DAMN YOU MR. CAGE!! [/quote]


I couldn't agree more. That gormless american. And why can't we have new films to call clasics? They're remaking damnbusters, damnit!
Stop. Look. Jive!




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I know why it said 'Dedicated to Johnny Ramone' in the credits now.

It turns out that Johnny Ramone introduced Nicolas Cage to the original film.
Gotta a find a woman be good to me,
Who won't hide my liquor, try to serve me tea.




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i think we should kill Johnny Ramone...yeah, just for that(hee, just joking!)
The Gryphon said, "It's all in the Queen's mind-they never cut off anyone's head, you know."

-Alice In WonderLand (Lewis Carrol)



Chickens are honestly little dinosaurs. And they know it.
— ChieRynn