Darkness fading Part 3 (test)

Arieras walked through the corridor. The candle light glistened of the rocks.
He came to a door, its silver frame glowed with a deep brown light.
He looked at the middle of the door and saw a skull figure of it. That to was silver. Inside its mouth was a small candle. The candle caused the skulls eyes to light up bright yellow, giving it an Erie effect.

His laid his grimy hand over the skull, And sharply twisted the skull to the right. The door slid open. Yarel was sitting along the rock wall, holding a gold trimmed cup, his face was covered in dirt from the last encounter he had with the orcs. He raised the gold trimmed cup and took a sip of beer.

His low, coarse voice rang out through the room.
"This is madness" whispered Yarel
Arieras spun on his toes to face an orc that was imprisoned behind the large, dull bars. His faced cowered from the light he had let in from the door. His green leathery hands hid his face from Arieras.
"What do you mean?" he whispered.
"Lets look at the facts. Their are only 27 of us. and how many orcs are running out their?!" Yarels voice grew louder.
"What do you want me to do, let them run around and slaughter the people, just give up!" Arieras' voice also raised.

The orc in the cell took an interest, he grunted a couple of times, he appeared to be laughing. Yarel picked up the giant axe which used to be the orcs. Its dull silver rusty blade only being held on by dark brown leather looped through several holes in the axe and tied round the black scorched shaft. Yarel waved it infront of the orcs face. The orc grunted at him.

"Do we need him?" Yarel whispered.
Arieras shook his head. Yarel pulled the axe back and threw it at the orc.
Its dull rusted blade sliced through his dark green skin. It stuck their half way out his head. The orc fell to the floor, dust flew everywhere. but when it settled Yarelc couldn't help but let a smile appear on his face.
His dark brown blood had stained all up the wall behind him.

Yarel turned around to face Arieras.
"Ambushing and using stealth is one thing, but fighting an army on the plains?"
"Who said we were going to fight them on open plains?"
Arieras let out a deep laugh as Yarel grinned.

This is MUCH better, Killer-Ewok! Very nicely done! Your pace is much more believable; you describe the setting well and without too many words and your word choice has improved.

Just a few things:

Arieras walked through the corridor. The candle light glistened of the rocks.
He came to a door, its silver frame glowed with a deep brown light.
He looked at the middle of the door and saw a skull figure of it. That to was silver. Inside its mouth was a small candle. The candle caused the skulls eyes to light up bright yellow, giving it an Erie effect.

First two sentence give us description of the setting - good. I think candlelight should be one word here. I really like the image of silver glowing with a deep brown. When you say Arieras saw the skull figure, I get the impression he's never seen it before with your word choice of 'saw'. This may be just my interpretation, but if he's been here before, you may want to think about him 'recognizing' or some other word the skull figure (which I assume is ON the door, not OF it.) I think 'to' should be 'too' in the sentence after that.

'inside its mouth was a small candle. The candle caused the skull's eyes to light up bright yellow, giving it an Erie (do you mean eerie?) effect.' This is good, fascinating description, but it sounds a little repetitive because candle is repeated twice. I suggest either making second use of candle = it or saying something like. 'inside its mouth was a small candle, causing the skull's eyes to light up bright yellow and giving it an eerie effect.' Clauses are your friend.

His laid his grimy hand over the skull, And sharply twisted the skull to the right. The door slid open. Yarel was sitting along the rock wall, holding a gold trimmed cup, his face was covered in dirt from the last encounter he had with the orcs. He raised the gold trimmed cup and took a sip of beer

.

Your main problem here is punctuation. Namely commas. You don't need a comma if there is a conjunction in a sentence unless after the conjunction is an entirely new sentence - subject, verb and everything. A comma cannot substitute for a period when you begin a new sentence. For instance.
'his grimy hand over the skull, And sharply twisted' And does not need comma and capital here. It should be 'hand over the skull and sharply twisted' Second: 'a gold trimmed cup, his face was covered' The second part could be clause, but to do that you must say ' his face covered' because the helping verb makes it sound like a new sentence. If it must be a new sentence, have a period between cup and his.

His faced cowered from the light he had let in from the door. His green leathery hands hid his face from Arieras.

Green, leathery hands - GOOD! We know somewhat of the orc's appearance. The only thing here is that 'his faced cowered from the light' Are you saying that his face cowered (which is very awkward) or that he cowered?

The orc in the cell took an interest, he grunted a couple of times, he appeared to be laughing.

Run-on sentence again

The orc fell to the floor, dust flew everywhere. but when it settled Yarelc couldn't help but let a smile appear on his face.

More punctuation stuff

In all, I enjoyed this much more than the first two parts. The dialogue intrigued me and your description pulled me into the scene. And because I liked it so much, I'm going to give you a list of suggestions!

1. Watch punctuation - it's important
2. Remember the their-there rule which I noticed but did not comment on throughout this story. their is possessive. they're = they are. and there... well, there is used for everything else.
3. Everybody is whispering in the dialogue - some more creative word choices might be nice.
4. Don't rush yourself writing this. Spelling errors like 'faced' and such are bad. It's worth you looking it over a few times before submitting it. You improved much since the last two parts; keep reading and analyzing what can improve your writing.
5. Try to read your stuff as a reader. I know this is hard, but if you can, you can catch the impressions you are giving the reader.
6. KEEP WRITING! Many of the things I am mentioning and other things I did not mention will come to you as you keep writing.
7. and lastly, READ! Read other people's work and note how they word things, how they use description and such. A good writer is a great reader.

Great job, Killer-Ewok. Much improved. Keep writing and PM me if any questions arise.

Read my last post in DF2