Chuck Norris jokes

We've all heard some of them.. and even the whole subject of Chuck Norris is getting annoying..

But why not share the jokes you've heard?

Only rule is.. post ONE at a time, I want to see how long we can get this

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

There is no such thing as evolution; only a list of animals that Chuck Norris allows to live.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see him, you may be only seconds away from death.

What's the last thing you see before Chuck Norris kicks you in the face? Nobody knows, there have been no survivors.

lolsz

"A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there "

Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands recently. Now they are just 'The Islands'.

When God said "Let there be light.", Chuck Norris said, "Say please...".

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries.

Chuck Norris puts the "Laughter" in "Manslaughter"

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.


xD

Chuck Norris laughs at fart jokes.

When Chuck Norris falls into water, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

(this is probably my favorite)

Chuck norris went back in time to stop the jfk assassination, he blocked the bullet with his beard, and jfk's head exploded in shear amazement.