Complete Disintegration

2 posts
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Gender Female
Points 130
Reviews 288
My mind.
It crumbles.
Red seas.
Like sinking.
A dream.
Why marriage?
Faithful;
dishonest.

My heart.
Drained of blood.
Blue eyes.
Like crying.
A thought.
Who is there?
Contrast;
irony.

Your love.
Repeater.
Green grass.
Like nature.
A kiss.
What am I?
Malice;
nihilist.


Bedroom.
I'm shipwrecked.
Black threads.
Like ribbons.
A touch.
Where to go?
Complete;
fall apart.




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Gender None specified
Points 863
Reviews 4
Hey, I like how this flows. It definitely is connotation for sadness, loneliness, hurt, and "complete disintegration". Italicizing the third paragraph was a great idea, since its was a deviation from the "my" theme. If it was to add a stronger, distinct emotion to the piece, it worked as well.

This was depressingly good. Less words, but more meaning.

Great!
D.S

Reality is concrete.
Fantansy is abstract...
Dreams are trapped between.



Very well; I hear; I admit, but I have a voice too, and for good or evil mine is the speech that cannot be silenced.
— Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness