My First Poem

Concrete Pendulum
An Acrostic Poem By Green Monkey


Population focused in cities
Of which eject poison into the air
Letting earth’s pendulum swing
Letting earth’s time run out
Unless something is done
This rusted world will be no more
Imaginary it will be
Only the man in the moon will see
Not where earth is but where it used to be

Hello, this is my first post, so I hope it ends up where I want it...

Well, I personally don't like acrostic because they're so restricting, however, you did very well with creating a very free and flowing poem. I really like it. However, when writing an acrostic, be sure you put emphases on the first letter of each line, such as puting them in bold or high lighted them.

Yeah I didn't even notice it was acrostic until she mentioned it.

I guess you didn't read the part where it said it was acrostic then....

it wasn't bad considering the restrictions placed on it but the flow was interrupted by the form

whatever thats supposed to mean...

I liked it. Thinking of earth's time to be here as a pendulum was a neat illustration. I haven't read an acrostic in a long time and honestly can't remember the restrictons for them (I read/write more fiction than I do poetry). The only part I recommend changing is:

"Letting earth's pendulum swing
Letting earth's time run out"

Both great lines, but I would change one of the 'letting's to something else. Good job. ^_^

personaly not one of my favorite types of poems...it was good for what it was though...

It was a little too 'Let's Save the Rainforest!' for me, but I thought it was pretty good, especially with the pendulum analogy. That was pretty cool.

I've never heard of the acrostic style...have to google it. See what I find.

I haven't read/ written an acrostic poem since primary school, but i liked this one.
especialy the bit about the earth being a pendulem (is that how you spell it?) and where you say
'not where earth is but where it used to be'

Have a lovely day
~blue~

P.S i don't think the flow was interrupted by the form, but then again, i'm not sure what that actually means...

If i interpreted the message in this poem correctly, i would have to agree. The earth's time is running out, and it's all thanks to human's, isn't it niced to know your a parasite?

~~Shadow~Knight~~

yep, knowing i'm a parisite gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside *she is presantly carted off to the funny farm*

have a lovely day
~blue~

I didn't even know what acrostic means untill chevy mentioned it in context. I didn't notice. I like the pendulum image and the man in the moon line.

Save the earth!!!

It was a good poem considering the format, you had some very good lines in there
The title was good too. I like it. Nice work

:O!

Next time, mention something about Nitrogen Oxide. Pleeeeeeease? That's poetry enough for the whole poem!