I'd have to say that the coloured version looks - well - much more solid than the lineart, but the lineart, though a little simplistic, has a bit less of a distraction to it. I mean. Not to choose between the two.
With the coloured one, what really gets to me is the curvature of the neck. In the lineart the sharp angle isn't as obvious - or distracting - to me, but in the coloured version it's somehow more of an issue to my brain. I think it's that my mind is processing the curve of the neck oddly, because of the ear laid flat that's somehow more obvious in the coloured version, and insisting that the neck must be physically skinnier, which throws my perception off.
I'd have to say the colours you chose were nice, safe to that extent, and they fit well together. I like the accent red on the skin on the inside of the ear and the nose area; I like the beak/eye colour and how it fits with the uniform brown of the feathers. The background kind of gets to me, because the mustard shade doesn't seem to fit quite as well, but combined with the other colours it looks fine enough.
I think another issue, for me at the very least, is the boldness of the first feathers out in front (on the right side of the wing). Perspective-wise, they're in front, they're largest, and they're very - very - bold. It fits fine with the picture, it just seems like the feathers are more distracting than they deserve to be, drawing away from the more elaborated focus of the head/neck/torso area.
That... is about it? See, I tried. Just for you. ;D
I'm not sure which one of these I like best. The coloured one is more interesting, but the flatness of the colour, no texture to it, makes the whole thing look rather ungainly. Blocky.
Either way, both of them look wrong about the wings. It's especially noticeable on the uncoloured one. I don't know if it's because they're too low down, but they don't look like part of the body. They look stuck on. As you don't have any other more of the whole creature, just the head, neck and wings, I'm not sure the proportions are right. Maybe the wings should be larger?
Anyway, looking at this, at the blank spaces, I'm trying to picture what the rest of the body would look like, because even if you don't show it, there's got to be a body there, and I don't think it would look right. The neck is bent at a very extreme angle, so if its head were straightened, the neck would be very long indeed--too long. And the chest and shoulders go on for far too long. They should be already developing into the back, and they're not.
If I wasn't clear on anything, shoot me a PM.
-twit
"TV makes sense. It has logic, structure, rules, and likeable leading men. In life, we have this. We have you." -Abed Nadir
Oh Ky, the line art on this is so lovely! Could you perhaps lay the outline on to a black background and have it traced in white instead or shade it a little or fill in in entirely black. I think you need to play around with that just a little more before you can fairly compare it to the coloured version. Obviously at the moment the second wins but I almost think that if you made the first more dramatic, the black and white would be the more powerful of the two.
For the second, I think the background colour is a poor choice. It makes the beak and eye blend in too much which makes me go noooo! Those are crucial parts. The beak and the eye of a Gryphon are like the key features so they need to stand out. Perhaps a black background would have served you better? Or something with a little more orange to it. You don't want to go with red as you already have that in the picture but the gold isn't quite working either!
Oh and actually a quick vcomment on the outline too. The arch of the back is just a little bit stiff. I do love the angular feel that you have going on but maybe smooth it off just a tiny bit. And where the ear is, it seems like the neck starts too high. I think it would have dropped lower by that point? Not that I'm an expert on Gryphon anatomy of course!
