A lost stone

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Gender Female
Points 964
Reviews 17
I wrote this 2 years ago. I do see I need to work on punctuation :/ lol

A lost stone
moreso, thrown away
given a look, a second glance perhaps
before you walk away
because what you thought to be a sparkle
is merely a speck of dust
and what you thought would skip five miles and more
did not live up to your expect
and if I could muster up a shimmer or a song
I would
for you would be amazed by me
and want me, love me, keep me long
but I am not a shimmering rock
who sings and skips or pleases you
I am just a thrown away one
you do not need
just walk on by
and I sit amongst these shining pearls
and I'm lost...
who placed me here?
where are all the other pebbles whose gray sides have no glitter?
why am I the only one? who's left alone in this sad place(state?)
why can't I please a single one? who passes through this sad sad place
while you sleep and dream of your happy days
know, perhaps, that I instead lay
and cry
and wear and tear
and break down...
I weep
for I don't know what is wrong with me.




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Gender Female
Points 907
Reviews 27
Hello there! Uhh, yeah you really should work on the punctuation :D But overall, i honestly like your poem very much. When you wrote;
I would
for you would be amazed by me
and want me, love me, keep me long
but I am not a shimmering rock
who sings and skips or pleases you
I am just a thrown away one
you do not need
just walk on by
and I sit amongst these shining pearls
and I'm lost...

Cool! i totally love this part :D
Anyway, keep writing :D
-Snoweary
Loving in secrecy is my specialty.
What if...I was never here in the first place.




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Gender None specified
Points 1538
Reviews 38
I enjoyed reading your poem, I would consider looking at your punctuation and fixing it.
I am just a thrown away one

this line made little sense to me, I would consider taking the word one out and maybe the a or changing thrown to throw then maybe it would make more sense.
Nice job other than those little things.
Keep them coming.
Wo Ai Ni (I Love You) Jessicarlie Love



"In my contact with people I find that, as a rule, it is only the little, narrow people who live for themselves, who never read good books, who do not travel, who never open up their souls in a way to permit them to come into contact with other souls -- with the great outside world."
— Booker T. Washington, Up From Slavery