Secrets

Secrets

No, don’t tell me -
I don’t want to know.
Tell me half-truths and white lies.
Exaggerate. Make me believe.
Convince me it isn’t as bad as it is.

When I don’t know the truth,
It’s easier for everyone.
So continue your knowing glances,
Your riddles, and vindication.
I will keep on pretending that I don’t know
And you can put on that face
That proclaims nothing is wrong.

What you don’t seem to comprehend
Is that you actions speak
Much louder than the words you haven’t said
And your silences scream bloody murder.
Can’t you see
Nothing can go back to normal?

amygabb wrote:.

good job

I definitely relate to the anger in the piece. I love angry poetry in part because it is the most raw form and because I find I do my best work when I'm ticked. There were a few cliches and I would try to mix in some imagery if I were you but that's all individual. There was also a little bit of thematic repetition in the first two stanzas, which I liked, but repetition didn't see, to pervade throughout. All that aside, it was a good poem in that it conveyed the emotion that I think it was written to convey. I like that, because art isn't art if no one feels it.

Thers

So, before I forget I'll give you the things I think you can change. First of all, the third stanza. to me it felt out of place. It didn't fit with the rest of the poem. It felt like you suddenly changed opinions or narrators. Anyway, that could just be me. So yeah, I don't get what you are really trying to say there. I could guess, but I could guess a lot of reasons for what you are trying to say. I just don't think it fits in well.
Otherwise, it was really good. I especially liked the first stanza and the fragments you put in there. It made it sound, well, secretive. Anyway, I don't have much of a review, but I did enjoy this piece. Keep writing!

Amygabb, you are a poet! This was great! I could really empathise with the narrator! I keep using excited bursts of exclamation marks!
This said what I wanted to say to the world myself. I love this piece - it was so right and captured the emotions just bursting to get out.