Mirror

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You,
that I don't like
nor do I recognize,
are stuck with me forever. Why?

You,
that are not pretty and cool
like the other people in school,
are stuck with me forever. Why?

You,
that are not the sharpest knife,
that do not meet the expectations of life,
are stuck with me forever. Why?

The person you hate the most
is not the one that makes you seethe
but the person you see
every morning when you brush your teeth.




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Loved it ;)
thanks, music, for being there when nobody else was....




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Gender Male
Points 1890
Reviews 56
This was awesome, with fantastic ideas and imagery.

With poetry, it's best if you capitalise each line, if for no reason other than it looks better. Trust me, if you just get into the habit while you write it'll just come naturally.

Also, the lines that end with "Why?". The "Why"s would look a lot better and create more impact if they were on a separate line. Just gives some finality to your verses.

So, with my advice it would become this:

You,
That I don't like
Nor do I recognize,
Are stuck with me forever.
Why?

You,
That are not pretty and cool
Like the other people in school,
Are stuck with me forever.
Why?

You,
That are not the sharpest knife,
That do not meet the expectations of life,
Are stuck with me forever.
Why?

The person you hate the most
Is not the one that makes you seethe
But the person you see
Every morning when you brush your teeth.


The improvements are basically formatting the poem correctly- other than that, great job!
“It is the tale, not he who tells it.”
― Stephen King

“If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that.”
― Stephen King

Formerly BadlyDrawnLightning



This is a message to all you out there. You don't have to be the fastest writer. You don't have to write 2000 words in one sitting. But if you put your mind to it and really love your project, you can and will get further along than you ever thought possible.
— FireEyes