Just Tell Me

Spoiler

....XD

I don't know why I stay around,
You make me feel like something is wrong with me.
I don't know why I give you stuff to talk about,
Don't remember why I wanted you close to me.

You stroke my hair with one hand and stab me with the other.
Do you actually still believe we are meant to be?
Must feel great to say sorry and always see me coming back to you.
But no matter how close we are, you will never be my destiny.

I hate the way you look at me,
One day it's with lust and the other day with irritation.
As a friend you should have accepted that I stand for certain things,
But when I'm serious, all you do is laugh at me.

I hate this bitter look you keep carving in my eyes.
Why don't I realize that I deserve better than you (if I do)?
Tell me, is it too much to ask you not to break my smile?
I'm getting tired of accepting your quick sorry.

It's not that easy to always stay forgiving,
You keep on stabbing, knowing your secrets are save with me.
Don't ask me why I keep on caring...
The answer to that is still a question to even me.

You don't treat me with the right amount of respect,
I’m wondering if you truly meant “being thankful for me”.
I guess I could have known things would end up like this,
Tell me, are you still my friend or are you walking over me?

For once let this aching confusion stop,
Please, just tell me.

Love it ..... Full of emotion .... tells an amazing story .... and well .... I just genrally Love it!
I know that this isn't much of a review but .... I'm just not that good at pointing things out ... It makes me feel bad :L

Lorna
xxxx

Karin!

It seems like the poetic forces accumulated your mind and have brought you to write this powerful piece with such detailed emotions.

The imagery is so sublime and it makes the poem punchy and meaningful at the same time. There is really no where I can point my finger to show any place where it needs to be altered. The use of words is so good -

qaralynn wrote:You stroke my hair with one hand and stab me with the other.
Do you actually still believe we are meant to be?

These lines just ooze with a regretful and hurt-stricken tone and really bring about the atmosphere of the poem.

qaralynn wrote:Don't ask me why I keep on caring...
The answer to that is still a question to even me.

Word perfect and with great meaning.

qaralynn wrote:I hate this bitter look you keep carving in my eyes.

This line has made a personal impression on me in a way. It's nice to know that you are needed but it also stings when you thrown away to be forgotten by many. The sentiment in these lines clearly portray the mood that you were going for and this to me is what is the focal point of the poem. Hypocrites and liars will tell us everything we want to hear but are willing to withdraw every single word for just their sakes alone.
In the end, we should come to terms with reality and accept the fact that the person we thought we had known was just someone else behind a mask. Be your graceful self and end whatever disputes anyone throws at you in a kindly manner and there will not be a single person willing to cheat you.

Time and again, you're proving to be a formidable poetess! There's great poetic talent hidden in your chocolate coated mind and this is just a small glimpse of all that. I'm sure there is more to come!

Keep it up, you've done a great job.

Murtuza

Hey Qara!

For this poem... one of the things that struck me was that all these people seemed to do was they looked at each other and then they occasionally stabbed each other. Don't they do anything... else? It seems a little bit simple, if you know what they mean. One thing that you might think about doing is expanding on the sensual imagery here. You use sight (with them looking at each other) and then you used touch (with him stabbing her). But... if you add more senses (taste will give it a more erotic edge, smell will make it more human, voices will make it spring out more, and a softer touch will give nice contrast to the stabbing) then it'll be better.

Basically, what you are doing is just repeating your same images over again. You can do this... it's awesome. But, see if you can spice up your poem a little by introducing new things. It'll make things more interesting.

Good luck!

Awesome job. Sooooooooooo relatable.