Song Birds are the only Kings

Hey everyone! Dogs here with my newest and coolest poem of mine. I actually wrote this because GeeLyria (aka the coolest person ever! And my favorite person ever ) challenged me to take a line and incorporate it into my poetry and express that feeling in "new bound words".

The line "Song Birds are the only Kings" is completely original, but the idea sparked from the poem The Emperor of Ice-cream, which i encourage you to read. Also this another one of my poems that no one would really understand the poem more you need to know the back story behind this, so to put more emotion into this piece you have to know the story behind the words. Please read the poem first and them read the Spoiler at the end. I don't really know what to think of this piece so please help me out with corrections and everything, thanks!


The night shines bright,
when the moon is the only light.
Butterflies fly on silver wings,
Where Song Birds are the only Kings.

Dancing shadows stretch and grow,
on my crazy world, made of snow.
Laughing flowers turn to sing,
Where Song Birds are the only Kings.

I run through this maze of wonder
with laughing skies and cackling thunder.
Puppets dance on metal strings,
Where Song Birds are the only Kings.

I see you standing there,
standing with not a care.
Ravens flitter on golden wings,
Where Song Birds are the only Kings.

You turn to me and laugh,
like some evil face from my past.
You snicker and turn it all into fire.
Crying ghosts scream and whisper liar.

I stare and watch my world crumble,
as sneering ghosts turn and mumble:
"it's all your fault", why can't they see
that in reality, Song Birds are the only Kings.

Spoiler

So once upon a time there was a kid (me) who's life was kinda crazy and a friend who was really close to me was texting me and telling me how much she hated my best friend who was, at the time, my girlfriend (and the girl texting me didn't kno that we were dating). So as a result i was talking to my GF about this (really stupid move by me i admit, if i could take it back i would), and long story short she flipped a b**** got really pissed and sad and yelled at the girl texting me. And so the girl texting me wanted "revenge" and so she told everyone about all of my secrets and everything personal. And my life "crumbled" so to speak.

TuckEr EllsworTh

This is adorable and sweet . My biggest problem was that I don't understand where songbirds really fit in, and you don't explain why songbirds are kings, let alone why they're the only one's, but I guess it could be said that it's just in the narrator's imagination. Anyways, here's my line by line:


The night shines bright,
when the moon is the only light. One beat too long, try "moon's" instead maybe?
Butterflies fly on silver wings,
Where Song Birds are the only Kings.

Dancing shadows stretch and grow,
on my crazy world, made of snow.
Laughing flowers turn to sing, I'm confused. It's snowing, but there are flowers? This creates a contradicting image...
Where Song Birds are the only Kings.

I run through this maze of wonder
with laughing skies and cackling thunder. Now it's a storm? So so far I have, flowers singing in the snow with a rainstorm.....What?
Puppets dance on metal strings,
Where Song Birds are the only Kings.

I see you standing there,
standing with not a care. Try "without." It fits better grammatically and keeps the meter better.
Ravens flitter on golden wings, Flitter is not a word. I think you mean "flutter."
Where Song Birds are the only Kings.

You turn to me and laugh,
like some evil face from my past. One beat too long...
You snicker and turn it all into fire. Get rid of "all." It's a beat too long here.
Crying ghosts scream and whisper liar. Who's lying? Why're they lying? What's the lie? I'm confused.

I stare and watch my world crumble,
as sneering ghosts turn and mumble:
"it's all your fault", why can't they see
that in reality, Song Birds are the only Kings. One beat too long, I wouldn't put "that" in this line.

Over all nicely done . Goodjob!

DOGS! XD Lol. You're silly... and awesome! Bahaha...

Aaaaaaand YOU'VE MADE IT! You got exactly what I meant. xD This is amazing. Pure art. Every stanza has its beauty. Everything flows and rhymes greatly. I love how you mention the title several times, that way we don't forget what you wanted to point out. And it makes the reader think about what they're reading, analyze the situation. I'm... I'm speechless. You've taken my challenge and you managed to do a great job in not so long. I am your fan!

Though, I'm sorry about the situation with your girlfriend and the girl texting. But somehow, you see how even yucky situations can help you improve as a writer.

Keep writing AND posting!!

~Solly<3

Hey!!! Thanks sooo much Lyria! wewinwelose, so sorry i maybe should have clarified "song birds are kings" part. I was considering telling everyone the reason but i decided not to cause i was curious if it was obvious enough. Clearly not so my bad on that one. Oh and thanks so much on the comment, i completely agree, i may have rushed this poem a little. I'll definitely fix those problems.

Anyways, my inspiration for this poem came from Wallace Steven's "The Emperor of Ice-Cream". Because that poem is god near impossible to decipher i'll just tell you what it means. Anyways basically long story short a girl dies and they are getting ready for her funeral and it's old fashion and people are poor and not to many people care. All in the poem Steven's always repeats "The only Emperor is the Emperor of Ice-Cream", so this line can be interpreted in different ways but i interpret it in that everyone is equal and there is no social status's.

So Building off of that i chose "Song Birds are the only Kings" using that to say that everyone should be equal (not communism don't involve this in politics ) and no one should think they are better then anyone else is the main idea i'm trying to convey. So also, the imagery is all supposed to be contradicting because it's suppose to: firstly, this is suppose to represent my personal life because it has almost everything i really love in my life in terms of nature and seasons which feeds back into songbirds.

I love snow but not winter (contradictory i know...), my favorite season is spring which is the first thing i think of when i hear flowers (and laughing/singing flowers provides personification and imagery to help create the picture that it's my world and anything goes), Laughing skies and cackling thunder I enjoy lightning and thunder but NOT rain (i love this line because it makes the sky a living being that cackles when it laughs).

Now the liar part, sorry i definitely should have clarified that. Firstly, the girl who was texting me totally denied the entire thing and everyone though i was just lying, and on top of that my gf used to be friends with the girl. Key words USED TO so people say "it's all my fault". The Ghost's are all the people in real life, so they are invading my personal life because the girl told them everything. Also i don't like extreme heat so when the ghosts and fire invades my world it all comes crumbling down.

And for my final line i am saying why do some people think they're better then everyone else and treat people like crap. So i'm trying to say, again, that all people are just people no mater how much money they have or good they think they are.

Sooooo yeah, that's basically a blow by blow analysis of my poem if you were wondering lol.