Our future

There's nothing left,
But the dreams of yesterday.
And I bow my head.
And I bow my head.
For the landscape lies dead,
And the trees and rocks and mountains decay.

The sky is just black,
In the dreams of tomorrow.
And I shake my head.
And I shake my head.
I'm choked by the thick air of iron and lead,
Eyes watering - full of sorrow.

Surely there's no hope -
For the generations to come.
And I hang my head.
And I hang my head.
The crying seas, the trees hacked, the animals fled.
The suits just sit, and whistle and hum.

But there is a kid,
Seperating paper from plastic.
And I look ahead.
And I look ahead.
When smiling when he so boldly said:
'I think our future will be fantastic.'

It took me a second to catch on to what the rhyme scheme was, but once I did, I enjoyed the poem very much! It kept my attention, and I liked how the poem ended, it wasn't pointless like many poems. Good job!

This is just great! So I have a thought that this is about the pollution because of these lines.

For the landscape lies dead,
And the trees and rocks and mountains decay.

The sky is just black

I'm choked by the thick air of iron and lead

The crying seas, the trees hacked, the animals fled.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

This was good. Great concept, and you displayed your stanzas well. I felt a little detached emotionally though (until the last stanza). Maybe you could put some more emotional words or situations in there. It had a lovely ending, and I immediately fell in love with the little boy that was picking up trash. So, overall, good piece. Keep working on it though, I think you could take this a long way!

~Jess

I think it's great. Took me a little while to catch on. I'm a little slow at times, haha. But I loved it.
Keep writing, because you got talent man.

Sincerely,
Ciara<3

Nice!

I like the repetition a lot and the ending was beautiful and kind of sad because it's an innocent boy trying to tidy up the mess left behind by other generations, but this one boy is enough to give hope to everyone else.
I wasn't convinced completely by the rhyming scheme because I found it herd to find a rythm, I liked it better the second time I read it.
Overall really interesting and a really clear and beautiful message.