Student

Depression weighs heavily,
Soaking the exam papers—
I’m already drowning in—
And the ink trails down my face,
The dark veins of my soul

Eyes droop wearily,
And I squint tiredly, at
The tiny words of unfathomable text,
That swim suddenly;
Beheld behind a veil
of treacherous tears.

I can’t take this anymore

Back groans despairingly,
Under the weight of duties,
Cares and responsibilities,
Always there, riding me;
A lathered horse near exhaustion.

Let me sleep, I no longer care.

Headache pounds
Away at my thoughts.
No peace for me,
Only pain.
I am a slave,
To my future,
As I labor away
Endlessly.

test

unfathomable

That right there sticks out Jiggy, least I think so. And I liked the beginning, cus I knew what you were talking about. The ending seems a little weak though.

-MH

Lol, this is an old poem y'all. I'm none too fond of it, but thanks again for commenting.

I liked this because it's easy to relate to--almost everyone has gone through something like this. Do you need those hyphens in the first stanza, though? I don't think I really like them.

Nice work.

A lot of people can relate to this who are heading towards important exams. You conveyed some of the feelings well in this.

hehe Exams... aren't they fun?

I noticed that you used a lot of adverbs, especially here:

Eyes droop wearily,
And I squint tiredly, at
The tiny words of unfathomable text,
That swim suddenly;

Instead of adverbs, try to pick out images or actions that can replace them. Not that the adverbs are bad, but you seem to rely on them a lot.

It's a relatable poem. I don't know if you are going to revise it because you said it was an old poem, so nice work.

Lol, sounds like me just before the SATs... ^_^