Wonderland

So I was pondering during my free block suffering from extreme boredom and i'm all like "Hey! I'll write a crazy poem about my favorite crazy movie!" Obviously that would be Alice in Wonderland. A lot of these words aren't even words, they are just so much fun to use though! So i've made up some of my own words and in almost every paragraph i have put in one of my favorite quotes from each character. Part of the insanity of this piece is that it starts with some one telling a story and then morphs into someone planning out their day. Also if you get any confusion in the 5th stanza: "exaketededly" really means "exactly". Also this is probably the longest poem i have every written so there are lots of kinks and things i need to work out in there so please help me out! And don't forget, Anything goes in Wonderland!








TuckEr EllsworTh

Oh Mii God!!! I love it!!! ) I LOVE Alice In Wonderland! That may cause a little bias but oh well I find this great Though I did notice that you didn't really capitalize your I's, so you should go back and fix that. Your rhyme is great and and the flow quite good as well, when you can get both of those down in a poem it just makes it all the better.

Stuck in this world of wonder,
Through a tiny hole I fell under.
Water and cake that shrink and grow
Inside these wonderful lands down below.

I love these lines!

Well, Not much more to tell you with such poems like this there really is nothing to fix up other then a little pump and rut

Good job,

~Rain

Haha! Such an awesome poem with an awesome topic! Alice in Wonderland is one of my favourites too!

Jibber-Jockey,
Jabber-Wocky,
Wickey-Wattle
Tittle-Tattle
And a tale shall be told
That is now, oh so old...

(I like this stanza. Especially the beginning!)

Stuck in this world of wonder,
T through a tiny hole I fell under.
Water (I'm pretty sure it was not water, actually.) and cake that shrink and grow,
I inside these wonderful lands down below.

Lovely! I see the little white rabbit that claims he's late
W when really it's only half past eight.
Let's visit the Mad hatter who is really rather grotesque, (Grotesque? Try something else, maybe? Because Hatter is anything but grotesque.)
And always inquires "why is a raven like a writing desk?". (Have you found the answer yet? XD)

What will i I do next? oh lets see... I know!
Let's say hello to the queen of hearts, its been forever ago.
We can maybe Maybe we can steal her delicious tarts
Aand paint her roses red!
I hope she'll scream and say "THE ROYAL FLOWER BED!
For painting the roses red
someone will lose their head!"

Perhaps we'll take a stroll to see,
Absolem; he has quite a smoking problem i I say,
he might just drop dead one day.
You do realize, of course that he's
"Exaketededly" 3 inches tall.
Quite a good height i I'd say.

And for the grand finale we should
Ggo walking through the wildwood,
To see the lovely Jabberwocky.
Perhaps to catch the Vorpal blade go snicker snack
Aand watch his "head go galumphing back"!

What a fun day, i I say!
But alas i cannot stay.
Why you say? Why simply because
"Most everyone is mad here,
I'm not all there my self" haha!

Pretty good poem! But, you really need to capitalize your I's and add a little punctuation. Though, I did expect something about the Frabjuous Day and the dance that Hatter does. (I forgot what it's called.) But, otherwise, really good poem! Also, you don't need to have every line of a poem beginning with a capital letter. Only if the previous line ends in a full stop, you should start the next line with capitals. Keep Writing!
~HPR~

Haha thanks all! and yeah i know it's probably not water but thats all i could think of lol. And i put the capitals at the beginning of each sentence to perhaps help emphasis on the kind of insanity of the narrator. Oh and finally i didn't put anything in about frabjuous day because this is all referring to the 1951 Alice in Wonderland, although the 2010 Alice in Wonderland is fantabulous!

OMG! THAT WAS SO COOL! HA! Jabberwocky? Oh! I REMEMBER NOW! *mental face palm* LOL! Grostuqe is not the best word the for the awsome madd hatter! HE'S MAD FOR GOD SAKE! OBESE IS MORE LIKE IT! HA Jokes! I'm in a random mood so don't mind me! It is really good. Please continue writing.

Hey there, a review - as requested!
Wow, creative! I like creative.
Nitpicks ahead:

Jibber-Jockey,
Jabber-Wocky,
Wickey-Wattle
Tittle-Tattle
And a tale shall be told
That is now, oh so Old...

- So, first stanza is already amazing. I love the Jockeys and Wockys. Amazing. My only nitpick in here is the

oh so Old

. Sounds a tiny bit awkward, that bit. May I suggest 'That is now way too old', or 'That is now a bit too old'. God, those are terrible. Either way, I think the 'oh so' sounds a bit strange.

Through a tiny hole I fell under.

- You don't fall under holes, you fall through them. So, you might have fallen under a tree, under something that has to be above, you know what I mean?

Inside these wonderful lands down below.

- This line doesn't flow as smoothly as the previous one. I would replace the 'wonderful', or the 'down below'. The whole line just seems too long.

Lovely! I see the little white rabbit that claims he's late
When really it's only half past eight.

- Absolutely love this. Love it love it love it. Good job on these two lines. The exclamation is appropriate and fits in with the general tone of the poem.

grotesque,

- I agree with HarryPotterRocks over here, don't use this word. The Mad Hatter isn't that ugly - he is Johnny Depp after all I feel you've used the word to rhyme with the 'desk'. I know it's hard to pick the right words, but this one doesn't fit well.

"THE ROYAL FLOWER BED!
For painting the roses red
someone will lose their head!"

- Once again, an amazing stanza. You fit the quote really well in the poem.

problem i say

- problem, I say.

Quite a good hight i'd say.

- Good height, I'd say.

What a fun day, i say!
But Alas i cannot stay

- Capital 'I' in here, and comma after Alas.

I love the way you put some letters in bold and capital so it spells "wonderland". Very creative, once again, and I like that kind of approach. Though I'm not so keen on the poor little D being left out at the end of the poem.
May I suggest: putting the letters in the poem more randomly - it's okay if the letter isn't at the start of the world - you are writing about a weird and creative world - so it would be fine to put those letters in random places. If you don't make them in capitals, then it would be easier.

Overall, I really loved this. I am giving this a "like", and I am really glad I got to read something this good.
Well done - it was awesome.
Keep up the great work, and I hope I wasn't too harsh, because really, I loved it!
polly xx