Dream

You came to me in a dream
I thought it meant something special
I haven’t heard from you in some time
I can’t stop thinking about it, you, me, us, together
I miss our friendship, the talks we use to have
You were my best friend.
You knew who I actually was. Opposed to what I make the world see.
You cheered me up, you calmed me down, and you were there for me.
You left me this time. And you’ll never know how much I hurt because of that.
Your friendship was most important to me, but now, where has it gone?
Crying with the playback of this dream, it won’t go away
You put your arms around me and said you’re here to stay.
I felt comforted in my dream; I didn’t want to wake up.
I need you. I need to know that you’re okay.
This is killing me inside.

Hi there.

So this is your very first post here in YWS.

I think you have a very sweet message in your poem.

And I love the simplicity you put together in your poem as well as the meaning of it. It's simple and very meaningful.

Keep writing!

Hey, Dogs here! So this is a really great idea and i think you are heading in the right direction. The poem has great emotion really telling the reader how you feel which is really important in a poem like this. Because of the emotion you display in your poem i can totally relate to that which is the effect you want to have on the reader. However the poems flow is a little offset. I am a huge fan of short poems but reading this was more like reading a book. This poem is one big block of text without stanzas and it's missing some punctuation. Also i would suggest cutting up some of your longer lines in the poetry. Like on lines 8,9,10, and 11 you could even cut that in half to keep a relatively consistent length in each line. (unless your making an exception where it contributes to the piece when the expanding of each line helps visually to the reader or comes back in to a theme of the poetry which i don't think you are trying to do in this poem) And then back to the flow, you could (if you want) throw in a little rhyming which always makes the reading go easier but not all poems have to rhyme but you got to be sure that it flows well without the rhyming other wise it can be really difficult to read. This has a lot of potential to be a really good piece. Keep up the good work!!!!



TuckEr EllsworTh