Spoiler
I realise that this isn't written very well and needs a lot of work...I wrote it quite quickly, within a few minutes. It means quite a lot to me and so I guess that's why I'm posting it here. I know it doesn't have much potential, but still, any tips on how to improve would be great.
Thank you to everybody who has reviewed it! I've edited it now as you can see below.
As you can probably see, I'm not great when it comes to writing poetry, but I felt like sharing it nevertheless!
Thank you to everybody who has reviewed it! I've edited it now as you can see below.
As you can probably see, I'm not great when it comes to writing poetry, but I felt like sharing it nevertheless!
I have never been so tense before.
Now, tenser than ever, I stare into your eyes;
You are telling me to relax, but my mind is rebelling.
I have always been afraid,
Of myself and of others, afraid of the light;
Afraid, more than anything, that it will show me
For who I really am.
A world apart from you,
I sit here, my hands clasped together
And watch the others as they unwind,
Figures blurring, laughing in the spotlight
They glance my way and avert their eyes;
I can see their disgust.
I don’t know why I can’t join them,
Or why I am afraid to let myself go.
Perhaps I am scared that my heart will explode,
That I’ll feel too much, and lose control,
Or that I’ll feel too little, wither and die.
I am barely out of my black hole
And winter still spreads through my fingertips.
My eyes sting yet the tears won’t come out.
Are they made of ice?
Made of ice like my heart,
Which won’t set me free, and keeps me so tense?
“Please,” I whisper.
I think I should go,
But you press something warm into my palms;
Closing my eyes,
I take a sip.
It spreads like warmth through my veins, my soul,
Until the lights begin to blur.
And my heart,
Melting away from its bittersweet casket of ice
Beats vigorously, filling me
With scorching, passionate blood.
Yet I am not unwound enough, and so I cling on to you some more,
Intoxicated by your sweet, unsteady breath,
Until I am sure that I am free, and sure that I can stand
Steady in my confidence, though unsteady on my feet.
I never wanted to be anything but this,
Whirling in the night
I never wanted anything else;
I see no reason to return.
Now my mind is singing, free.
But my body, furious, rids me of your sweet poison.
I can feel it escaping.
Why does it have to end?
Crash. The sound, so distant,
Fills my ears;
I know that I’ve fallen, but still I cannot feel.
Morning comes, and the darkness has never been so impenetrable
And I cannot remember,
Although I know that the power of my memories
Is the only thing that can keep me reminded of that shivering,
Heart-wrenching pleasure.
When I look back, all is dark.
The only feeling I ever truly felt is
So vile in others’ eyes.
Confusion spreads through my veins,
Seeps deep into my bones,
Laces itself with my still, frozen blood.
I am living a life, the life I am lucky to have,
That so many others will never know.
And I have not fallen into any deep trap,
Simply skimmed the surface of the water.
Yet, as the sun sets and I stare up into the sky,
My mind whispers a question I never wanted to hear.
I am here, but I am imprisoned, and so tense.
With every smile comes the uncertainty,
The doubt that I was ever truly
Alive.
Now, tenser than ever, I stare into your eyes;
You are telling me to relax, but my mind is rebelling.
I have always been afraid,
Of myself and of others, afraid of the light;
Afraid, more than anything, that it will show me
For who I really am.
A world apart from you,
I sit here, my hands clasped together
And watch the others as they unwind,
Figures blurring, laughing in the spotlight
They glance my way and avert their eyes;
I can see their disgust.
I don’t know why I can’t join them,
Or why I am afraid to let myself go.
Perhaps I am scared that my heart will explode,
That I’ll feel too much, and lose control,
Or that I’ll feel too little, wither and die.
I am barely out of my black hole
And winter still spreads through my fingertips.
My eyes sting yet the tears won’t come out.
Are they made of ice?
Made of ice like my heart,
Which won’t set me free, and keeps me so tense?
“Please,” I whisper.
I think I should go,
But you press something warm into my palms;
Closing my eyes,
I take a sip.
It spreads like warmth through my veins, my soul,
Until the lights begin to blur.
And my heart,
Melting away from its bittersweet casket of ice
Beats vigorously, filling me
With scorching, passionate blood.
Yet I am not unwound enough, and so I cling on to you some more,
Intoxicated by your sweet, unsteady breath,
Until I am sure that I am free, and sure that I can stand
Steady in my confidence, though unsteady on my feet.
I never wanted to be anything but this,
Whirling in the night
I never wanted anything else;
I see no reason to return.
Now my mind is singing, free.
But my body, furious, rids me of your sweet poison.
I can feel it escaping.
Why does it have to end?
Crash. The sound, so distant,
Fills my ears;
I know that I’ve fallen, but still I cannot feel.
Morning comes, and the darkness has never been so impenetrable
And I cannot remember,
Although I know that the power of my memories
Is the only thing that can keep me reminded of that shivering,
Heart-wrenching pleasure.
When I look back, all is dark.
The only feeling I ever truly felt is
So vile in others’ eyes.
Confusion spreads through my veins,
Seeps deep into my bones,
Laces itself with my still, frozen blood.
I am living a life, the life I am lucky to have,
That so many others will never know.
And I have not fallen into any deep trap,
Simply skimmed the surface of the water.
Yet, as the sun sets and I stare up into the sky,
My mind whispers a question I never wanted to hear.
I am here, but I am imprisoned, and so tense.
With every smile comes the uncertainty,
The doubt that I was ever truly
Alive.
