Revenge is Sweet

Revenge is Sweet

Do you hear me cry, can you hear me moan?
When each night I sit by this cold stone,
Black roses planted in this god-damned mud-
Here I bind my promises with my own blood.

Oh how you thought you got away,
But I will come back for you one day!
I will come as a friend, as an ally,
But every word I speak will be a lie!

Smooth like silk against your cheek
Just like sugar, revenge is sweet.
Coated in the neatest lies-
Vengeance and confederate cries.

Retaliation
Retribution
Reprisal

An eye for an eye,
Is not good enough!
Two eyes for an eye,
Is not good enough!

If by accident or by mistake,
Well what difference does it make?
Something was taken from me,
So in time all will be taken from thee.

I don’t forgive and forget,
“Sorry” won’t make things set-
Don’t try begging on your knees,
My vengeance won’t seize.

I’ll jailbreak your heart,
Penetrate your very soul-
I’ll turn your friends against you
And I will plant seeds of hatred,
In every one you love.

Retaliation
Retribution
Reprisal

Smooth like silk against your cheek
Just like sugar, revenge is sweet.
Something was taken from me,
So in time all will be taken from thee.

Revenge

Hello there Demoness! I must admit, I am a bit scared O_O
I don't like the idea of revenge, but as a poet, this poem was incredible. The flow was almost dead on - I like how you repeated things without making the poem too clogged.

I’ll jailbreak your heart,
Penetrate your very soul-
I’ll turn your friends against you
And I will plant seeds of hatred,
In every one you love.

This stanza was very scary, it was powerful! But it seemed out of place, as it didn't have a rhythm or rhyme. It's just like, all the other bigger stanzas rhymed and then...? Seems a bit stuck in there.

I think it'd be dramatic if you put a final revenge at the end of the poem. This poem seems to both define revenge and your specific idea of it, so I think that would make for a good ending, but as always, it's up to the author.

The repitition of the three R words... I'm not sure what to think about these. They're very stylized and unique, but at the same time they bother me a bit. Maybe think about it? Perhaps they could be paired with a word or something. I can't think of an example, but I feel like they're floating and they need to be tied to something.

This was an amazing poem! Great flow, great imagery and emotions.

-Dai

Hey, dogs here. Just i would like to say that this poem is really good! It flows like silk and it's short enough that it doesn't drag it out but gets the point across. But what i really love about this is how much emotion you put behind this while at the same time making it flow perfectly and still be short and gets to the point. That is everything i look for in a poem and you just nailed all of them. NICE WORK! Keep it up!






TuckEr EllsworTh

I had a case of deja vu while reading this. Something about it seems so familiar...I jus can't put my finger on it. I'm quite interested in your emotions here. It's a really great poem. You get your points across by the repetition of words. Really nice, I'll be tuning in to your other pieces of work. Keep writing!