Waiting for never

So this is a new poem i've written where i'm trying to incorporate sound into my writing which is a lot more difficult then it would first seem to be in a poem. Obviously it still has a lot of room for improvement, Thanks guys!


I'm Watching the clock
go tick tock, tick tock.
Waiting for forever to come around.

It's a quater past never,
I've been waiting for forever
why won't forever ever come around.

And the Clock is still ticking,
its irksome clicking.
Always going tick tock, tick tock.

Clickedy clock, tickedy tock
It's ten till forever,
I'm still waiting for whomever

and all i'm hearing
is the clicking of my clock
go tick tock, tick tock.




TuckEr EllsworTh

I think it's fabulous, the rhymes fit perfectly, and it flowed very well.
I think you captured the sound of a clock to the "T".

You did, however, have a typo. I do believe you meant "quarter" insted of "quater". Also, you captilized "watching" did you mean to do that or did your hand just slip.

Anyways,
Hope I helped a little bit!

Keep writing, you're very talented!

Sincerely,
Ciara<3

This piece sounds good. And is something I can relate to very well. As for any conflicts, the above reviewer has mentioned it . It's small and has a good feeling to it. Nice job and well written!

Dogs! This is a amazing! : D Really enjoyed reading it. Keep it up.

Thanks guys! And really? Haha i didn't think it was one of my better pieces haha. Thanks!






TuckEr EllsworTh