The Silence

Spoiler

This is possibly my first poem I've ever wrote ever that I cared about and thought about. It only took about 10 minutes but I quite liked it, I welcome bad and good constructive criticism. Thank you and enjoy.

The sound shocks me,
A different resonance to my system
I am not used to the silence,
My world feels different without the blare
I’m not fooling around,
I need to break out.

I can only here one sound,
Very faint, very weak.
My icy breath brushes against my chest,
I tug at my wrists, the pain shoots up through my veins
I clench my teeth in the hurt .
The silence kills me.

Struggling to move, breaking away seems impossible
The silence breaks me.
The silence makes me distressed.
My ears are frozen from the stillness.
My desperation numbs me, from top to toe.
Fights to break free.

I ultimately break boundless, into the clamour…

I liked this. It was really nice. Well done. No seriously, it was good. I especially liked the one line ending. It added to the theme of silence and all. For what it's worth, it is great. I really liked the second stanza. Overall, great job! Keep up the good work.

Hiya Angel!

I liked this poem. It wasn't too long or too short. It wasn't to confusing or complicated. It was a reasonable length and nice and simple. I liked the idea of it and there was a nice gentle flow to your words. I think you should be really proud of it. I loved the last line which summed up the whole poem really well and your opening verse was pretty good too. The middle was interesting and it was nice to know what the silence did to the person, how it made them feel. I wondered what the silence was. It could be like, no sound, but sometimes it is referred to as something else. The only thing I was a little miffed about was that we didn't get to know which type of silence it was.

But that was a great well thought through poem and I enjoyed it a lot

Deanie x