In the Tea

4 posts
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Gender Male
Points 577
Reviews 198
Time un-
furls
slowly,

as do the leaves,
as do the words.
As if we

plucked
from domestic altitudes,
from Buddha's

hand
the soil's stillness.
I did not stir

but steeped.
For to steep
the morning

is to stretch
willow-backed
in an arch.

Like a leaf,
bearing the same-
faced farmer's

name in gold,
in the tip.
I could look

upon this willow,
these leaves
for a long and

long time.
Out of them
rises the seasons

and souls woven
and yawning,
with a touch

of honeyed malt
that does not hide the past
or deny the not-past—

I walked abroad.
What I'd lose
to walk forever.

To tread alone,
sipping by spinachy people
who would say

I am here.
And just like the opening
leaf I am

somewhere between dead
and alive.
For a passion

is amidst.
No, a mist,
because it is

in the air.
It is
in the tea.
Last edited by inkwell on Sat Oct 29, 2011 9:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
"The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible." — Einstein




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Gender Female
Points 564
Reviews 34
This is a beautiful poem overall, but one suggestion would be to capitalize the beginning of each stanzas and make sure when to end each line. But you're a great poet and I love it!! :)




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 28282
Reviews 884
I'm actually going to disagree a little with the first reviewer and say that I wouldn't capitalize it! She's right, usually lack of capitalization doesn't work at all in poetry, but for some reason I feel like it flowed with the natural sense that came through this poem. The images this had were just stellar, I loved this, and I'm left with nothing to complain about. *Liked*
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver




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Gender Male
Points 2340
Reviews 28
Wow. Impressive indeed! I also adore tea. :3
"At this very instant, I augment the spacetime that permeates and weaves our beings."



Half the work that is done in this world is to make things appear what they are not.
— Elias Root Beadle