Night Stalkers and Skinwalkers Chapter 1

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Chapter 1: Introductions
Lucy
“Get up! I said get up!” She shouted at me.
“I don’t want to fight you.” I tried to diffuse the situation.
“You should have thought about that before.”
“Before what?”
“Shut up!”
Before I could come up with a witty thing to say I was blindsided by a right hook. But let’s pause this altercation for a second. Okay, my name is Lucy and the big ape that’s screaming at me while pounding my face in is Francine. Now, I bet you’re wondering how an average sized girl such as myself got into this situation. Well it all started in math class. You see I’m the person in the class that everyone cheats off of in order to pass. Today I was tired of giving everyone the answers but still being treated like crap. Francine asked for the answer to a test question and I refused, plain and simple. Francine, being the Neanderthal she is, didn’t like that. She did the usual, push me and my books to the ground. I thought that was the end of it. It was starting to get dark, so I decided to go home. Now on my way home from open gym after school, I was rushed by her and her posse. Next thing I know I was on the ground being punched and kicked by what seemed like 20 people for at least an hour. After they got bored they left me alone and went away. I was on the ground bruised up, at night all alone, and at least 3 miles from my house. Lucky me, right? I started on my trek home, but after about 10 minutes I had to stop and rest on a park bench because my ribs were hurting too much. I found myself drifting in and out of consciousness until I finally passed out on the bench. If this were the big city I would probably be in trouble. A young girl all alone at night, no one around for miles. But Cloudy Springs is one of those small, boring towns that nothing happens in. The ones that you read about in books and see in movies. “Well sure, I guess I’ll just sleep on this bench.”
I was too tired to continue home. Before I passed out I heard footsteps and growling coming near me.
I woke up to a delightful sound. “Of Wolf and Man” by Metallica, one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands. I would be ecstatic if it weren’t for the fact that I was in someone else’s bed in someone else’s house. I was pleased at the sight of a full cooked course of eggs, bacon, and grits at my bedside.
“Good morning, sleepy head.”
“Good morning.” I replied in a polite manner.
“Um thanks for the food and giving me a place to stay overnight, but where am I and who are you? I’ve never seen you in town before.”
“Oh my god, where are my manners? You are in our house and my name is Silas.” He said in an apologetic tone.
“Our house?” I replied.
“Yes, I live with my brother and my mother. My brother’s actually the one who found-”
But before he could finish another boy walked in, he did not look as playful as Silas. He had a scar on the side of his face and he didn’t look happy. “Why is that thing still in my bed?”
He spoke in a stern, annoyed voice, like I was the one who dragged myself into his bed and I know I’m not the best looking person in the world but where does he get off calling me a thing?
“That’s my brother Demetrius.”
“Well you don’t have to worry about this thing being in your bed any longer cause I’m leaving.”
And with that I stormed out of their house, but not before I cleaned off my plate. I felt something behind me so I turned around. To my surprise there was Silas.
“I wouldn’t feel right just letting you go without knowing you got home safe.” I could tell Silas was one of those smooth-talking types of guys.
“Okay.”
I said in a quiet almost whispering voice. We didn’t really talk the entire way to my house. I was afraid I would say something weird or stupid. When we got to my house he said goodbye, gave me his number and he said to call him if I needed anything. Then he gave me a big hug. I lit up like a Christmas tree and I couldn’t help the huge grin I had on my face. It would have been all cool if my face wasn’t bruised up.
I walked in the house and went upstairs. My mother’s door was closed, this meant only one thing. She was entertaining company. I went to my plain old boring room. You know, being in Demetrius’ room reminded me of how sucky my life actually is. He had a kick ass stereo system, giant HDTV, and video games. All I have in my room is a TV, some posters and plain, no color, white walls. I watched TV for about an hour before I fell asleep. I woke up because I felt breathing on my face. I opened my eyes to the sight of a crazy woman in my room.
“Hey Lucy goosey.”
“Hey mom.”
“You didn’t come home last night. You know you should call if you’re gonna stay at a friend’s house.”
I hated that Foghorn Leghorn accent she had.
“I wasn’t at a friend’s house.” I hastily said before I noticed the half smirk on her face.
“I know, I got a call from the mother of the boys who found you. You’re just lucky they didn’t have less than pure intentions and had sense enough to help you and not just leave you there.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Now the smirk was a frown. “So, are you going to tell me what happened to your face?”
“I fell.” I couldn’t even look her in the eyes.
“You know how I can tell when you lie? You don’t look me in the eyes and you fiddle with your hands. It’s called a tell.”
I was getting irritated. The bad thing about having a lawyer for a mother was that she can spot a lie every time.
“Well tell or not, like I said, I fell okay? So just drop it. I’m going back to sleep and I don’t know if imma go to school tomorrow.”
I gave her my best angry face. She just looked and nodded her head.

Demetrius
“So.”
Silas looked at me with a puzzled look. “So?”
“So why did you help her?”
Silas took a step back. “I couldn’t just leave her there!”
“That’s not the point!” My voice was now a borderline shout. “It was none of your business and you brought her here to the house. The next time you do something stupid like that again I’ll kill you myself.”
“Whatever you say Demetrius.”
Silas and I were two polar opposites but closer than…well I can’t think of a good enough analogy, but trust me, we were close.
He rolled his eyes. “Okay so what are we doing tomorrow?”
I took a deep breath. “Tomorrow…Tomorrow we go to school.”

Lucy
That morning I felt unusually in a good mood. I decided to go to school. On my way I stopped in Mr. Johnson’s store as I always do before school. I picked up a paper and was on my way. I must have been distracted by one of the headlines because I bumped into someone.
“Watch where you’re going!”
A voice snarled at me. I tried to walk faster to avoid the inevitable confrontation but a hand on my arm violently whirl winded me around.
“Did you hear what I...Oh it’s you.”
“Hello Demetrius. Hi Silas.”
“Hey Lucy long time no see. Say hi Demetrius.”
“Salutations.”
I could hear the sarcasm oozing out of his voice.
“Well it was nice seeing you but we have things to do, right Silas?”
“You go ahead I’ll catch up with you later.”
He mumbled something as he walked away but my attention was focused on Silas. The whole way to school we talked, not about anything specific, just random things. It turns out he knows more than he looks like he would. Not to say he looks dumb, well, it’s just you rarely see someone smart and good looking. At school I was unpleasantly surprised to find that Demetrius was in all my classes. Now, normally this wouldn’t upset me but every question the teacher asked he immediately knew even some things that even I didn’t know. To a normal person this isn’t a big deal, but I don’t like the fact that there is someone who might be as smart, if not smarter than me.
Lunch was uneventful. The usual people doing the usual…
“Watch your step!”
And with those words I was face first into the concrete ground and my food was all over the floor. I looked up to see none other than Francine laughing and walking away. I have come to be used to this kind of treatment.
I rubbed my head. “Yeah I really need to watch where I’m going.”
What happened next I would never have expected in a million years.
“Need some help?”
Silas was standing over me with his hand extended. Nobody had ever come to my aid before.
“Thanks.”
I grabbed his hand and with one swift motion I was on my feet. Silas had huge hands but they were as soft as they were big and his nails were perfectly manicured.
“Do you get your nails done?”
“Nope, all natural.” He said amused at the idea.
“Come on, you can sit with us.”
“Us?”
“Yeah, Demetrius is all the way over there at that table on the other side of the lunchroom. Go ahead and sit with him and I’ll get you another lunch.”
“Will do.”
As I was walking away I could see him talking to Francine. What he said to her I’ll never know, but the look of horror on her face was absolutely priceless. I went over and reluctantly sat by Demetrius. He was reading a book. Trying to be sociable, I spoke.
“Hi Demetrius.”
Not even looking up at me, he made a grunt, which was probably the best I was going to get out of him. I looked towards the lunch line, Silas was being mobbed by girls, like a lamb surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves. They didn’t even faze him; he just brushed them off and got some food. I turned back to Demetrius. He was glaring at me. Demetrius had the deadest eyes I’ve ever seen, completely devoid of any emotion whatsoever. Before I could say anything to him a voice behind me shouted. “Boo!” I must have jumped at least ten feet in the air. I didn’t even hear him coming.
“Silas don’t scare me like that!” I said trying to hold back a wave of tears.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you so bad.”
“It’s okay, it was a little funny.” I forced a laugh.
Silas slid me the tray of food he brought with him. “Okay, so tell me about yourself Lucy.”
“Me? Well there’s not much to tell. Um, well as you know my name is Lucy, and I love skirts. I hate my dirty blonde hair and my freckles. I have no friends or social life of any kind. I absolutely love Metallica.”
With that statement I aroused Demetrius’ attention. He looked up at me.
“How old are you?” Demetrius asked in a semi-interested way.
“Sixteen.” I answered.
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
Demetrius leaned over towards me and he sniffed me. “You are fourteen”
I guess I wasn’t convincing enough. “Actually, fourteen and a half, but enough about me, it’s your turn Silas. Tell me about yourself.”
Before Silas could start Demetrius interrupted. “One more question.” He said
I playfully said. “Okay, shoot.”
He squinted. “Do you like dogs?”
I was sure it was a trick question but I answered anyway. “I’m more of a cat person.”
And with that statement Demetrius gritted his teeth, growled at me, and continued reading. I shrugged it off and turned back to Silas.
“You can continue.”
“Hold on, how are you fourteen and a senior in high school?”
“I’m smart. But that’s boring. I want to hear about you.”
“Well there’s nothing really interesting to tell, I love football and basketball, not too particularly fond of Metallica. I like my hair short. I love working out and my favorite kind of movies are scary movies.”
Now it was my turn to ask the questions. “How old are you two?”
Silas stretched and sighed. “I am eight hundred and twelve years old.”
I burst out in a laughing fit but stopped when I saw the confused look on his face. Before he could finish the bell rang.
“Wow, time flies. Say, what are you doing later?”
Silas asked in his playful voice, so I answered in a half sarcastic, half playful voice. “The same thing I do every day…nothing.”
“Wanna hang out with me at my house?”
“Yes. But I have to ask my mother.”
I think I came off a little desperate.
“Here you can use my phone.”
It was one of the coolest cell phones I’ve ever seen. My mother was too cheap to get me a cell phone, it’s not like she couldn’t afford it. But who would I call anyway. My mother didn’t answer so I assume she was busy, I left a message.
Silas and Demetrius lived far away from the rest of the town. It was right next to the forest and it overlooked a cliff. Last time I was there I didn’t really appreciate how awesome their house was. They had their own gymnasium, swimming pool, and the works. We must have played Xbox for at least 3 hours straight.
“This was fun, but I got to get home.”
Silas frowned and turned to Demetrius who was reading the same book from earlier. “Ok, Demetrius can you walk her home? I would do it myself but I’m beat.”
Demetrius slammed the book shut, sighed, rolled his eyes and accepted. I can tell he didn’t want to but I’m a little glad he did. I would have been afraid to go by myself.
After what seemed like an eternity Demetrius broke the silence.
“So what do you like to do?”
I was caught off guard a little I didn’t expect him to acknowledge me on this little adventure to my house.
“I like physics. You know, things like astronomy, stars and stuff like that. Boring stuff.”

Intrigued, he tilted his head to the right. Physics? I’m surprised someone your age would be into physics. Have you ever heard of string theory?”
I was shocked. “You mean the active research framework in particle physics that attempts to reconcile quantum mechanics and general relativity? Yeah I have, but I’m surprised that you do”
“This may come as a surprise, but I’m not as dumb as I look.”
“Well you could have fooled me.”
I couldn’t believe that came out of my mouth. I looked at the ground. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that”
When I looked up at him he was smiling. All this time I’ve never seen him smile.
“Well here we are.” He said.
“Yeah, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I went to turn to go in the house when he stopped me. Without saying anything he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, which made me blush. I could almost swear he sniffed me while he did, but it might have been my imagination or the wind.

Demetrius
When I got home, I saw Silas sitting on the couch watching TV.
“Silas, I’m back, time to go hunting.”
He didn’t even look up. “I told you, I’m tired.”
It was just like Silas to be lazy.
“Don’t give me that bull. I’m hungry.”
He turned to me. “Well, go in the kitchen and make yourself something to eat.”
Now I was getting irritated. “You know what I mean, now get ready!”
Silas was always weak hearted and more compassionate when it came to hunting. I learned a long time ago, the predator can’t have any feelings towards its prey. I went up to my room, put some clothes in a bag, and went back down stairs. I threw Silas the bag. “You ready?”
Silas nodded his head. We left the house and went downtown.
After ten minutes of sniffing around, we found a suitable target. From the smell of him he was mid 30s, 175lbs. I pushed Silas away and took off my shirt. I fell down to my hands and knees. I could feel my bones rearranging. It’s been awhile since the last time I changed. The front of my face turned into a snout and my fur started growing out. My arms and legs got longer. I licked my fingers as my nails grew into claws. I took a long whiff of the air and stood up on my hind legs. I turned to Silas. “How do I look?”
“Like a giant rabid wolf.”
“What about my voice?”
“Dark and foreboding. It sounds deeper and raspier than normal.”
“Good.”
I looked up at the sky, closed my eyes, and howled. I sniffed the air again and found the guy’s scent. I stalked him for a block. When he finally turned around and saw me, he tried to run, but after about 100 meters, he got tired and it was easy pickings from there. I jumped on his back. One bite to the jugular and it was over, but I still wanted more. I went over to where Silas was waiting. “I’m going for a run”
I told Silas to go home and get some rest; he would only slow me down. Silas said whatever and threw me the bag with my clothes in it. As soon as he was out of my field of vision, I threw the bag down and changed back to normal, and then I put the clothes on. I found a bar, climbed onto its roof, and waited. It was somewhere around 1:00 am. I must have been out there for a good hour and watched twenty people come out before I found someone I wanted. It was a couple, early 20s. I took off my clothes, got on all fours, and changed again. I silently jumped off the roof and followed them. I circled in front of them and hid in a dark alley that I was sure they would pass. I went after the guy first because he posed more of a threat. The girl must have seen something she liked in a store window because she ran ahead and started staring at it. Now was my chance. When the guy passed the alley, I grabbed him and pulled him into the shadows. I grabbed the bottom of his jaw and ripped it off of his face before he got a chance to scream. The girl called out to the guy. She turned and walked towards the alley. When she saw he wasn’t there. She slowly started to walk into the dark, foreboding alleyway. By this time, I had dragged the lifeless remains of what used to be a living, breathing, caring, thinking person, onto a rooftop above the alley. She was calling out the guy’s name. I threw his body down into the alley. It hit the ground with a loud thud. When she processed what had just happened, she started screaming and running down the street. The girl was actually fast. I started jumping from rooftop to rooftop trying to catch up to her. Eventually, I caught up to her. I was right next to and above her when I tackled her to the ground. I was going to make sure it was quick and painless. That is, until she kicked me in the face. I grabbed her by her hair and started running while dragging her down the street. I stopped in a parking lot outside of a mall. There were only a few cars parked there. I dragged her to the closest one and smashed her head through the driver’s window. I then grabbed her with both hands and bent her in half backwards. I threw her body down, sat next to it, and began tearing of body parts and eating them. She had O positive blood; one of my favorites. After there was nothing more of her than bones and blood, I stood up. I was bored so I decided to go home. When I got there, I decided not to change back to normal for the night. I went up to my room and jumped into my bed. I began licking my hands clean from the blood that covered them. I hated the way my human form looked but I think it would freak people out if they saw a talking wolf on two legs running around eating people.
I woke up to Silas screaming in my ear.
“Demetrius, wake up!” He frantically said.
I barely opened my eyes. “Have you any idea what time it is? What do you want Silas?”
I was angry because I was in the middle of a good dream. He looked at me in disbelief. “Two more bodies?”
He handed me a news paper, the headline said something about two bodies that were found mauled by an unknown animal. I didn’t care; they didn’t have any pictures or videos so I was uninterested. I closed my eyes. “And why are you showing me this?”
He took the paper from my hands and hit me with it. “When I left you said you were going for a run. Not hunting for more people!”
“What can I say? I got carried away.”
I don’t think he liked my sarcasm.
“Yeah, well mom is going to be pissed when she finds out.”
“I’ll deal with mom, you just to the kitchen and cook something to eat.”
He stormed out of my room and downstairs mumbling obscenities to himself. I win.
I wasn’t worried because mom was out of the country on business and wouldn’t be back for some time. It was Saturday so I was sure there would be more food out and about later tonight. I decided to go hunting again later tonight, with or without Silas. As I walked down stairs the door bell rang, I knew that smell anywhere. It was Lucy. I licked my lips. My mouth started watering and my stomach started growling. I yelled to Silas.
“Silas, that thing is here again!”
“Who? Lucy?” He yelled back.
Sometimes I was angry at how stupid Silas could be. “Who else would I be talking about?”
My voice shook the house. I went into the living room and saw Silas lounging on the couch. He looked up at me as if he already knew what I was going to say.
“Get rid of her.” I said.
“Why?” He whined.
I got close to him and put my hand on the back of his neck. “Get rid or her or I eat her.”
I growled. He got up, growled back, mumbled at me, and went to answer to the door. I got up with a maniacal smile on my face. I went up to my room to listen to music. After about an hour I got thirsty and decided to go to the kitchen and get a drink. What I saw made my blood boil.
“Hey Demetrius.” She said in a playful way. I took a deep breath to calm down.
“Hey Lucy, where is Silas?”
She looked at me and smiled.
“You just missed him, but he told me to tell you that he was going out to go to the store and he wouldn’t be back for a while.”
Silas was calling my bluff; he thinks I won’t hurt her. She was looking at me with those blue, puppy dog eyes. I smiled as I made my way towards her.




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Heyyup! GryphonFledgling in the reviewing house!

So, first off, just wanted to say that your title intrigued me. It was what make me initially click out of curiosity. I look forward to seeing what kind of story gets chugged out under that title.

“Get up! I said get up!” She shouted at me.

“I don’t want to fight you.” I tried to diffuse the situation.

Okay, so this felt kind of dead. I mean, I think the situation that we're in here could be really fascinating, really gripping, really emotional, but here, we just are sort of thrown into this situation with no explanation. Why kind of situation is it that is trying to be diffused? Who are these people?

Granted, all this can be explained later, but here, I feel like it just needs a little more. A little more description maybe, setting the scene and making us care a bit more. As is, it's just so simple that it doesn't carry any real hook. Give us a name or two, or a little description, a little background on the fight. I mean, we get some info later, but here, in the beginning, it is so sparse that it's actually a little off-putting. I don't have any reason to care about these people, because I don't even know who's the aggressor.

But let’s pause this altercation for a second. Okay, my name is Lucy and the big ape that’s screaming at me while pounding my face in is Francine.

Alternatively, this bit heads up a crazy-huge paragraph of info-dumping. So much information, so little space! Seriously, we go from having no information to have waaaay too much information at one time. Slow down a little. Space it out.

Also, a lot of it is "telling" rather than "showing". Lucy tells us about the events leading up to this beating. Why not show them happening in real time? Why not start with Francine asking for the answer to the math question? And then Lucy refusing? We'd get to see her finally standing up for herself and see how big of a deal, how dangerous this is. As it is, Lucy's narration seems to be rather upbeat about the whole thing. I don't feel any real danger about this. I mean, getting the crap kicked out of you is actually really dangerous. You can die. You can get disfiguring injuries. It isn't really something she should just be able to brush off as blithely as she is here. One good kick can shatter ribs. One good kick can break a leg. She wouldn't just be a little bruised. She would be hard-core injured. This is serious stuff.

I woke up to a delightful sound. “Of Wolf and Man” by Metallica, one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands. I would be ecstatic if it weren’t for the fact that I was in someone else’s bed in someone else’s house. I was pleased at the sight of a full cooked course of eggs, bacon, and grits at my bedside.

Sooo... What is her reaction to this? I mean, the last thing she knew was getting beat up and falling unconscious with terrible injuries. Then she wakes up warm and comfortable in a stranger's house. Did she wonder if it was all a dream? Or is she freaking out? I mean, she seems to be taking this really calmly. I, for one, would be first freaking out because I'm not dead, but am definitely still hurt, and secondly wondering where on earth I was, seeing as how I don't remember getting here. This isn't a calm-making situation in any way, shape or form, no matter how complete the breakfast tray might be.

“Um thanks for the food and giving me a place to stay overnight, but where am I and who are you? I’ve never seen you in town before.”

Okay, this opens up a whole bunch of questions. How small is this town? If it were really as small as this statement and the info-filled paragraph before are implying, then wouldn't someone have found her before whoever this stranger is? I mean, there was no one else familiar who passed by that way? Also, why did this person give her a place to stay, as opposed to, y'know, taking her and her serious case of kicked-butt to the hospital where she evidently seriously needs to be.

Also, how old are the boys? What do they look like? Are they the same age as Lucy? We get very little on them at all.

And with that I stormed out of their house, but not before I cleaned off my plate.

Okay, so how is she storming out of the house with her injuries (even if she doesn't have the life-threatening injuries that I implied earlier, even bruised ribs are going to impede "storming out"), and how long did it take her to "clean her plate". I mean, that was a big meal listed there and it's going to take a bit to eat. So was she just sort of sitting there, nomming her noms as the two boys are just... staring at her? And what about their mother? She didn't think to ask for an adult, or maybe thank the mom for her hospitality or anything? She just sort of leaves? Seems a bit rude.

Then he gave me a big hug.

Whoa, personal space? I mean, she just met this guy and, regardless of how nice it might have been of him to save her, this is just sort of uncomfortable. I mean, maybe Lucy's a bit more comfortable with it, but this guy is seriously a stranger, he now knows where she lives, and he's going in for a hug. I'd be a little freaked out.

What happened next I would never have expected in a million years.

“Need some help?”

So, wait, no one's ever offered to help her before? Or is she just not expecting Silas to help her? I mean, does she think that he's that much of a jerk that he wouldn't offer to help her?

“Do you get your nails done?”

Seems like an odd question. I mean, I get that his nails are fascinating, but this is an odd question to pose to really anyone, especially a dude. It might just be gender stereotyping on my part, but it just seems odd to assume that a boy would get his nails done.

“Silas don’t scare me like that!” I said trying to hold back a wave of tears.

Wow, why is she so scared by this? I mean, this is interesting to me. It seems like she's overreacting to a little scare, but maybe she has some sort of past or experience that has made her this afraid. What is it?

Demetrius leaned over towards me and he sniffed me. “You are fourteen”

Wait, what? I mean, I get that they're supernatural in origin and this is supposed to be giving us a clue, but it's a little too blatant. I mean, Lucy is the one narrating, so everything we are getting is something she specifically noticed. So she specifically noticed that he sniffed her? And she keeps operating as if nothing happened? I mean, again, he's kind of unpleasant to her and now he's just sniffing her. I mean, that's really weird and creepy and she just sort of goes about the conversation as if it hadn't happened. Either key the sniffing down, or play up her reaction a bit more?

Without saying anything he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, which made me blush. I could almost swear he sniffed me while he did, but it might have been my imagination or the wind.

Again, a little weird. I mean, this is a little forward. How long as she known him? I mean, I get wanting to forward a romantic relationship, but this is just moving really, really fast. Why not a few more days of friendship first? Or is he just that kind of huggy-feely person? It's just that Lucy reacts really calmly to it. She's a bit flustered, but this is someone who never apparently receives much physical affection. She would likely react a bit more strongly, or at the very least, she would think a bit harder about it than she does, even if she doesn't physically react. Also, again, with the sniffing.

I told Silas to go home and get some rest; he would only slow me down.

Gah, this starts a crazy-long paragraph. I mean, crazy long. It's a seriously long paragraph and because it contains so much action and our eyes can't quite handle so much text as once, we sort of get lost in all the words and the action loses all meaning.

Slooooow down a little. Space out the action, giving it the same attention you give the conversations. Space it out, break up your paragraphs and show us stuff as it happens, as opposed to just telling us about it later. Let us get into your characters' heads as they go about their daily lives, as opposed to zooming from scene to scene. I want to get to know these guys, to see them grow closer together, to feel their pain. As is, I'm left picking up the pieces from off-screen awesome.

Make sense? If you have any questions or comments, by all means hit up my wall or shoot me a PM.

~GryphonFledgling
I am reminded of the babe by you.



“Hope” is the thing with feathers - That perches in the soul - And sings the tune without the words - And never stops - at all -
— Emily Dickinson