The Darkness Engulfs Me

Darkness creeps inside me
As I stare at my reflection
Claws, so sharp, so hungry
Claiming me for their collection.

Hatred boils in my heart
As I slash my nimble wrists
I have been kissed by death
Imprisoned in a perfect mist.

Hands tear at my heart
Darkness engulfs me
Peace and love I meet
I am finally free.

This is very good. The imagery is wonderful and the reader is provided with a real sense of the emotions involved.

There are very few things to say, however, the repetition of 'heart' in first line of the last two verses does seem out of place. "Hands tear at my heart" is a particularly good line, so perhaps "Hatred boils in my heart" could change to "Hatred boils inside me" or "Hatred boils inside my mind" or something similar?
Also, "Peace and love I meet" sounds a little odd, and adversley imapcts the othewise fantastic final verse. While I understand that the line needs to both provide this message and also rhyme - which is always difficult - perhaps another way of saying it could be found?

This is just going to be a quick review because I really did like this. The one thing that I saw that threw this off was how quick it was. The first two stanza's are somewhat drawn out, they flow nicely. The last stanza, however, just rushes into the whole death thing. You don't really give any reason and I guess that's fine, it just read kinda weird.

Oh well I really liked this and if you need anything feel free to pm me.

Flow'

Hey. Really good poem. I think you really engaged your readers especially when you say about slitting wrists as the readers can relate to that. I feel as though I am living this experience. However i felt the last stanza was a bit rushed into if you know what i mean (you may not). But on the whole good poem, i enjoyed reading it.

Hey. Really good poem. I think you really engaged your readers especially when you say about slitting wrists as the readers can relate to that. I feel as though I am living this experience. However i felt the last stanza was a bit rushed into if you know what i mean (you may not). But on the whole good poem, i enjoyed reading it.

Hey. Really good poem. I think you really engaged your readers especially when you say about slitting wrists as the readers can relate to that. I feel as though I am living this experience. However i felt the last stanza was a bit rushed into if you know what i mean (you may not). But on the whole good poem, i enjoyed reading it.

Hey. Really good poem. I think you really engaged your readers especially when you say about slitting wrists as the readers can relate to that. I feel as though I am living this experience. However i felt the last stanza was a bit rushed into if you know what i mean (you may not). But on the whole good poem, i enjoyed reading it.

Hey. Really good poem. I think you really engaged your readers especially when you say about slitting wrists as the readers can relate to that. I feel as though I am living this experience. However i felt the last stanza was a bit rushed into if you know what i mean (you may not). But on the whole good poem, i enjoyed reading it.

Hey. Really good poem. I think you really engaged your readers especially when you say about slitting wrists as the readers can relate to that. I feel as though I am living this experience. However i felt the last stanza was a bit rushed into if you know what i mean (you may not). But on the whole good poem, i enjoyed reading it.

Hey. Really good poem. I think you really engaged your readers especially when you say about slitting wrists as the readers can relate to that. I feel as though I am living this experience. However i felt the last stanza was a bit rushed into if you know what i mean (you may not). But on the whole good poem, i enjoyed reading it.

Hey. Really good poem. I think you really engaged your readers especially when you say about slitting wrists as the readers can relate to that. I feel as though I am living this experience. However i felt the last stanza was a bit rushed into if you know what i mean (you may not). But on the whole good poem, i enjoyed reading it.

Hey. Really good poem. I think you really engaged your readers especially when you say about slitting wrists as the readers can relate to that. I feel as though I am living this experience. However i felt the last stanza was a bit rushed into if you know what i mean (you may not). But on the whole good poem, i enjoyed reading it.