One Year Ago

If the angels handed out feathers of hope before
I never received them until they gave me you.

I was lost in nothingness, drinking Wine Coolers
Wishing I couldn’t only see what I had given up
I could repeat over and over again how much I
Was lost and wanted out of life, but you stopped that

We met under unorthodox conditions, now we laugh it off
Yet when you came -- I cried until I swollen smiles came to my face
There was no way to explain the emotion that I tried to blind
I became confused: I lied to myself and the truth didn’t exist

If there was surely anything to say
Words could not describe you, how I feel
The joy inside my heart could lift me up
It could keep me alive to feel everything I ignored
And knowing you're beside me, I'll need it


(Hahahahahahahahahaha! The Black Rose? Personal Life?
Believe it or not. I would also like some help... somehow I am at a lack for creativity.)

Dedicated to Vernon
Here's to making Life and Love great for One year.
The journey began May 9, 2005 :love:

Yet when you came -- I cried until I swollen smiles came to my face

cut out the "I" right there...I think that's a type. and "came to" could be replaced with a better, less common verb.

If there was surely anything to say
Words could not describe you: how I feel
The joy inside my heart could lift me up
It could keep me alive for years and years to come

This need assitance. ending's are punchlines a lot of time, and you are a punchline person. so why not add that flair? first of all, the second line is grammatically incorrect - you dont need a colon there. next, the "years and years to come" thing irks me. it's sort of cliche, and i'm not going to write the ending for you, but i think that you could expand on this idea.
c'mon - for vernon.

The beginning, on the other hand, I really enjoyed. It was one of the better pieces of poetry i've seen from you. Either way, I'm sure he'll love it.

LEAVE VERNON OUTTA THE CRITIQUES!
How'd you like me to dangle this puppy over the lava?
...

That's what I thought

Wow this suprised me heh and Xanthan seems to pointed out everything thank you :lots_hearts:

heh i love you so much.