For whom the bell tolls

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This poem's inspiration came from not one but two sources. First was, as most of you may have guessed by now from the name of this poem, Metallica's song - For Whom The Bell Tolls. The second was a friends poem posted on facebook, but I don't know if I should call it an inspiration since this poem is a reply to that one.
But before you read it, I ask your forgiveness and ask you to endure this prologue of sorts for a bit more. While I was writing this poem, I was listening to a specific soundtrack which very accurately reflects my state of mind at that point of time, though it might not be of any help here, Tyler Bates - Returns a King from 300.


Note : I sometimes post poems as notes on my facebook account under the alias "Pseudonymous Rex". I just wanted to make it clear so that if someone stumbles across this there, he/she should know that this isn't plagiarised material.


--

Cloaked in shadows, sat he on his throne of stone
Lost in time’s catacombs, sat he on his throne of stone
This heathen king
Ever alone, this first and last of the kings of old.

Lost now, loving none but the shadows of his past
Hating ever more, loathing that time of bliss
Never doomed to last
Entombed, suffering evermore in his mind’s necropolis
Alone he sits, king still he is but a king no more
Alone he sits, his eyes ever ajar in a silent scream
A king he is, ever he sits with a semblance so proud
Untouched by time, eternal it would seem
Unyielding
Yet ever suffering, deafened by a silence so loud.

Draped in darkness, sits he on his throne of stone
Burdened with sorrow, sits he on his throne of stone
His pyre it shall be
Ever alone this king of old, he for whom the bell tolls.

--
Last edited by BaronFlame on Mon Oct 03, 2011 12:24 am, edited 1 time in total.
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." - Bilbo Baggins

"I did it! I finally killed Batman! In front of a bunch of vulnerable, disabled kids!!! Now get me Santa Claus!" - Joker




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his was quite good, a bit confusing at some parts ( probably just for me) But well done. I love this line- "Entombed, suffering evermore in his mind’s necropolis" it's such a vivid description and really draws you in. Good job!
Love, Little Lion Woman
"This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time." Fight Club




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Like LittleLionWoman, I at times found this a little confusing, though not too badly so. Namely this line
Hating ever more, loathing that time of bliss
, I didn't really understand the 'hating ever more' part right away and had to read it again.
Alone he sits, king still he is but a king no more

Same with this line. It may just be me but it felt a little awkward, probably because of the 'still'.
A lot of repetition is used, which gives strong meaning and it is very suitable for what you have written, and you haven't overdone it, which is good.
I'm also not sure how a stone throne could be pyre, but that's not really important.

Overall, it is well done, and I didn't really find any problems with it, so nice work.



Teach a man to fish, he eats for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, you eat for a day. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.
— Ron Swanson (Parks and Rec)