Show Them Who's Boss

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Emotionally abused. That was how I was when I was with Mario. One day he would want me and another day he wouldn't. Constantly treating me like a yo-yo that it finally came time that we had to break-up.

The worst thing is, turns out he was cheating on me the whole time and before I could confront him about the whole thing, he broke up with me. He only said three sentences to my face.

"You're immature" Hypocrite.

"You're not the right girl for me" No, you just don't deserve me.

"Things aren't just working out." Because you don't want to commit.

I was fifteen when we broke up and being a sophomore and having to spend two more years with a person you really disliked had to be the worst thing I could ever experience.

He would flaunt his new girlfriends in front of my faces. Whenever I tried to be nice and say hi he would just brush me off and act like he didn't hear me.

It wrecked me because he seemed to be so happy and here I was, suffering like no tomorrow. Even my friends, who I thought would be my number one supporters, still talked to him.

I went to one of my guy friends, Mike, and talked about it.

"May, he didn't deserve you first of all. When it comes to guys like that, it's good riddance!"

"But..."

"But nothing. I know that some day you're going to get it and make sure to thank me."

"But I thought he loved me."

He scoffed. "Give it some time. One day you're going to say, I don't give a crap about Mario! Who's Mario?" he said " And don't stress your pretty head over some boy. I thought your main goal of high school was not to get a boyfriend until you came close to graduation."

"Well..."

"May, one piece of advice. You stay in school and succeed. Once you see that you waited, you will find that you got a man and not a boy.Show him who's boss"

Mike's advice could not get through me. It couldn't touch me. I still felt discouraged whenever I saw Mario with his new girlfriend that it actually went to the limit of him and I developing a friends with benefit relationship. I felt so confused and so attached to him, that my grades actually dropped and so did my energy.

One day, upon going to his house I knew I had to end it. It was the day we were going to have it but I contemplated about it. The whole idea was for this to be a deal breaker but I was the other woman.

We laid in his bed and before he could take my pants off, I stopped him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, impatiently

"Where do you want this to go?"

"What do you..."

"Do you want to be together or not?"

He didn't answer but opened his bedroom door and signaled for me to get out. As I exited the room, he whispered "You're such a tease".

I didn't know what came over me but with my heart full of anger and rage I turned and slapped the jerk across the face. He stumbled and I ran out of the house. As I ran across the neighborhood, for some reason I felt some kind of power. I started from doing a jog to sprinting to my house. I was bouncing around the house with a huge smile on my face.

I could hear running across my house and I came out of my room to seize my twin brothers, James and Jake.

"What are you guys doing?"

"We're practicing for our cross country tryout.''

"Cross country...kind of like track..."

Show him who's boss

I first tried to get my grades up for the fall and winter and succeeded. By the time spring came, I was on the Spring JV Track Team. Leading my team into many victories, I felt like I was on top of the world, until Mario came to the championship game . My heart pounded when I saw him. He looked directly at me, with his new girlfriend on his arm. She was actually my best friend Hanna. Funny to see two backstabbers in the same place; she was the one he cheated on me with. I lined up for the 200 meter dash, but I kept looking over at Mario and Hanna. They were whispering and laughing and it looked like they were laughing at me. My insecurity got the best of me as I heard the gunshot too late. I tried catching up but I only made it fourth place.

"May, what are you doing. Keep your head in the game!" my coach yelled at me

I sat down on the bench to take a break. Was I really going to let this boy get the best of me? He wasn't worth my worry. I'm nothing to him.

I got off the bench to go get a water. My parents were sitting in the front rows with my brothers.

"May, are you doing fine? Is something getting in the way?" my mom asked me

"Did you see the way she tripped? it was like..." I watched Mario imitate my running.

You stay in school and succeed

I can do this. I could see scouts lying around here.

Give it some time. One day you're going to say, I don't give a crap about Mario! Who's Mario?

Who is Mario by the way? An immature boy that now meant nothing to me. I was free now.

Show him who's boss

Hanna was our star runner but her grades prevented her from doing the championship. The coach looked worried. We need someone to do the eight hundred meter dash.

"Coach, make me do the eight hundred!"

"May are you-"

Too late. I was already on the field.

"Get off the field! You can't do it!" I could hear Hanna shout "You aren't cut out for it!"

"What are you trying to prove?!" Mario shouted "You're nothing."

I looked around me at my opponents. They smirked.

"You couldn't even do that two hundred. What makes you think you can do it four times what you couldn't do?"

I ignored the taunting and I visualized Mike in front of me.

"Show him who's boss!"

I heard the gunshot and my legs were sent firing. They were like the wheels of a train turning and accelerating as I kept running gaining speed. The wind whipped my face and blew my hair out of it's braid. My hair blew in the air and my lungs were pumped with lots of oxygen. By the time I was almost finished, I started growing weak and I could see one of the girls advancing on. I couldn't let this happen. I pushed my legs.

Go!Go!Go!Go! Go!!

I felt my body push itself to it's limit and soon I felt the ribbon break off. I saw cameras flash and than darkness.

I woke up inside a greenhouse. The hospital room was full of flowers and get well cards, but what caught my eye was the first place trophy, sitting on the nightstand.

My family came in my room and sat on my bed.

"You did it honey." said my mother

I smiled through tears of joy.

"There's someone here to see you."

I saw a tall man with a thick black mustache but a young face.

"My name is James Munro" He had a slight Italian accent. " I've seen you and I've never seen such a person push their body to that limit upon recognizing near defeat. I see much potential in you so I want to put you in the Olympics"

"What?!"

"Yes, the Olympics. Next year is 2012 and I'm going to bring you with me to watch the Olympics in London. I expect you to compete in the 2016 Olympics in Rio."

"But college..."

"It is your choice of what to do with this situation"

I looked at the trophy. I couldn't sit down here and mope. I needed my freedom. "Ok"

Five Years Later

I packed my bags for Rio eagerly. I flexed my new muscles in front of the mirror , put on my sundress, slid my feet into my sandals and ran down the stairs of my house. It took my mom and I hours to detach from each other. There were a lot of tears and hugging.

" We will be watching for you." she said. "You have always been worth a million"

I packed my bags into Mr.Munro's car and got in.

"Are you ready Ms.Summers?" he asked

I could only answer him with me bouncing on my seat. We got to the airport, dropped off my stuff and went to wait for the airplane to arrive.

"I'm going to take a quick bathroom break." I told him

I went and when I got out, I bumped into a janitor.

"Oh, I'm so..." It was Mario. "Sorry"

"Good to see you here," he said "Going on vacation?"

"Yeah, to Rio."

"For what?"

I started to walk away with a smile on my face.

"Hey you can answer my question. For what?!"

I turned around and smiled.

"The Flight to Rio is here. All passengers, please pass in your tickets." said the robotic voice

"To visit? Honeymoon?"

"No, to compete."

He stared at me in awe. "You're in the Olympics?!"

I nodded my head.

"I'll be rooting for you."

Now that made me laugh.

"Good to know."

I got in the plane and sat in the luxury seat. I could feel a presence near me. I looked up to see it was Mike.

"I'm not going to say it." he said, sitting on the seat next to me. "Thanks for the extra ticket."

"No, thank you." I said and kissed him on the cheek.

"Told you, you'll show him who's boss"
True confidence leaves no room for jealousy. When you know your are great, you have no need to hate.
-Nicki Minaj




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Great short story I have to say that i thought that it was very well written and flowed very well it was also it cronogical order and was very organized with a single focas not all over the place with a dozen ideas bouncing around. The sentance constuction was very well used with both complex and simple sentances.
I loved the idea of the story about how a girl gets heart broken but then still obsesses over the one who broke her heart and how she learns to get over him and move on and SHOW HIM WHO'S BOSS!
The only thing I didn't like was that even after he hurt May she still went back to him or at least tried to and when she did it just hurt her again.
If that was me I would have ignored him, dispised him, and most likely have gotten payback. Well thats just me
However all in all I thought that this was a well written piece that inspires you to not obsess over boys and show thwm who's boss
You got it, You got it, Some kind of magic, Hypnotic, Hypnotic, You're leaving me breathless
-Paramore, I Caught Myself




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Hi there ^.^

So...I liked this idea, the theme is awesome, but you brought in too much stuff that just distracted me from the theme. I'll go through it and show you what I mean.

Emotionally abused. That was how I was when I was with Mario. One day he would want me and another day he wouldn't. Constantly treating me like a yo-yo that it finally came time that we had to break-up.


This was a weak beginning. You shouldn't be telling us how May feels, it doesn't make us connect with her. Show us. Start the story with a scene actually showing him yelling at her, or flirting with another girl right in front of her...you get me?

And that was pretty much 90% of what I noticed wrong with the story...you told us, the readers, everything, you felt like you had to explain. You didn't trust us to figure out things for ourselves.

I went to one of my guy friends, Mike, and talked about it.

"May, he didn't deserve you first of all. When it comes to guys like that, it's good riddance!"

"But..."

"But nothing. I know that some day you're going to get it and make sure to thank me."

"But I thought he loved me."

He scoffed. "Give it some time. One day you're going to say, I don't give a crap about Mario! Who's Mario?" he said " And don't stress your pretty head over some boy. I thought your main goal of high school was not to get a boyfriend until you came close to graduation."

"Well..."

"May, one piece of advice. You stay in school and succeed. Once you see that you waited, you will find that you got a man and not a boy.Show him who's boss"


The dialogue here sounded pretty cheesy to me. Also, I would have preferred that you actually showed how close Mike and this girl were?

And the scene where she was doing the 800m dash..why were Mario and his girlfriend telling her she can't do it? I understand they're backstabbers and stuff, but by them discouraging her, it sounds like you're trying too hard to make it more dramatic, to make it more of a climax. It would be way better if she just kept thinking that she would show Mario that she's a star, and she doesn't need him. Girl power ;)

And the whole part about the Olympics..it sounded too cheesy, too sappy, it was a too happy ending, if you know what I mean? Maybe it's just me, but I would prefer her to win the school race, and get a trophy or medal or something, and recognized by all her schoolmates and Mario's just regretting what he lost.

I hope I helped, and if you have any questions, just let me know! :)
We're all a little weird. And life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.



Go in fear of abstractions.
— Ezra Pound