Loneliness is the caw of a single crow The rustle of leaves The cobwebs in the corner And if you listen, all you hear is the wind And the happiness falls from you, Like rain from a cloud.
I really like this poem. It's definitely short, but somehow I think that that works with the topic. What you wrote is concise and clear but still paints a picture in my mind. I'm familiar with loneliness and I think that this piece describes it very effectively.
There's not really much for me to criticize here just because of how short the poem is. I noticed that the capitalization and punctuation of this poem is a little off, but it would only take a minute or so to resolve that issue.
I don't really have anything negative to say about this poem. I think you did an awesome job!!!
Great work!!
Keep writing!
-Rose
“...it's better to feel the ache inside me like demons scratching at my heart than it is to feel numb the way a dead body feels when you touch it."
More than anything she wanted the world to be uncomplicated, for right and wrong to be as easily divided as the black and white sections of an Oreo. But the world was not a cookie. — Roshani Chokshi, Aru Shah and the Tree of Wishes