Ode To My Girlfriends Fish

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It glides by my eyes with a flash of colour,
It's wisdom only shown through the blankness of it's features,
It's silence is the loudest noise, the strongest opinion and
It's size gives the world a perspective that makes it's wisdom unique.

Hiding from the others it stays in the back.
Feeling rushed, it can only relax whenever it's at it's busiest.
Hiding from itself it focuses itself on the others.
Feeling calm, it gets absorbed in them.

The other colours, the other shapes,
The other sizes, and the other lives,
The other problems, and the other solutions,
The other levels of consciousness, sharing the same earthly pleasures.

it glides by my eyes with a flash of colour,
it's wisdom only shown through the blankness of it's features.
Others do not see what I see in him.
Others can not love him like how I love him.
For he's just Oscar, Oscar the Algae eater.
Last edited by Mr.SpaceMan on Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.




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Hi there,
This was amusing to read. It's simplicity was what made it a good piece of writing, so for that I congratulate you. Everything seems to be in order aside from:
It's size gives the world a perspective that makes it's wisdom is unique.

-I think you've added an extra 'is'
Other than that, this was well written and overall very enjoyable. I had a good laugh!
Happy Writing :)
-Briggsy
but the sky is love and i am for you
just so long and long enough
-E.E. Cummings




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Hey.

This was a nice poem and liked reading it. I wasn't sure if I would get it because I didn't know what ode meant but in the end I understood it.

I can't see anything wrong with it, and I think my favourite verse was the last one. It had an okay opening and a pretty good ending. It was enjoyable to read. Good job.

Deanie x
Trust in God and all else follows.

Deanie, dominating the world since it was cool @Pompadour, 2014
Your username reminds me of a hotdog @Stegosaurus, 2015
Tried to make puns out of your username, but every attempt has been Deanied @Candywizard, 2015




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I actually really enjoyed this piece. I think you did a marvelous job with taking something trivial and writing about it so elegantly. What's really interesting is how you manage to keep in mind that this IS something trivial, without the poem being pointless. Really good job, very fun read.



Not me seeing all these wall posts about peoples quotes and wondering: "When will it be my turn?"
— thetaostedwriter