a confession

when i turn back.,
to look at my deeds..,,
i have found nothing satisfying,
maybe,just filling my greedy needs..,
as a human.,i want to help others..,
what's then the privilege of being god's finest creation..,,
if not helping others..,just creating destruction..,
why everyone is seeking their own good..??
forgotten all humanity..,,leading the path of insanity..,
not a human anymore..,just a log of wood!!
aren't we supposed to be at each other's side..,??
but now..,just searching for someone to fill our heart's empty void...
what have done to ourselves..,what have we done to others..,,??
just being selfish..,,now..,the tree of life withers..,
it is high time now..,,we should come back to our senses..,,
regret our past deeds..,,and start working for making a better tomorrow..,,
if not for us..,for our kids..,
teaching them how to love 'n how to be loved.....,,
maybe the best inherited gifts..!!:)

when i turn back.,
to look at my deeds..,,
i have found nothing satisfying,
maybe,just filling my greedy needs..,
as a human.,i want to help others..,
what's then the privilege of being god's finest creation..,,
if not helping others..,just creating destruction..,
why everyone is seeking their own good..??
forgotten all humanity..,,leading the path of insanity..,
not a human anymore..,just a log of wood!!
aren't we supposed to be at each other's side..,??
but now..,just searching for someone to fill our heart's empty void...
what have done to ourselves..,what have we done to others..,,??
just being selfish..,,now..,the tree of life withers..,
it is high time now..,,we should come back to our senses..,,
regret our past deeds..,,and start working for making a better tomorrow..,,
if not for us..,for our kids..,
teaching them how to love 'n how to be loved.....,,
maybe the best inherited gifts..!!:)

A very good poem!!!! You're a fine writer..... The message speaks to me, really .
But see, remove these smileys (they look silly ) and these useless fullstops ".........,," here and there. They spoil the whole format of the poem. You need to take out some minutes and punctuate and capitalise this poem. You can work a bit harder and this can be a real gem. Keep writing !!!

thnx for appreciating my l'il effort....!!
'n i'll keep that points in my head..,,you pointed out..,next tym..!! for now.,i apologise..'n asks you for continuosly criticize my work..'n help me improve..!!
thank you..!!

Well, first of all, congratulations!
It is a great great poem, but I think the major problem with it is the punctuation.

youngtalentkritz wrote:when I turn back] please take of the smile
to look at my deeds no punctuation is needed here
I have found nothing satisfying,
maybe,just filling my greedy needs.
As a human,I want to help others.
What's then the privilege of being god's finest creation
if not helping others, just creating destruction.
Why everyone is seeking their own good?
Forgotten all humanity, leading the path of insanity.
Not a human anymore, just a log of wood!
Aren't we supposed to be at each other's side?
But now, just searching for someone to fill our heart's empty void...
What have we done to ourselves, what have we done to others?
just being selfish now, the tree of life withers.
It is high time now, we should come back to our senses.
Regret our past deeds and start working for making a better tomorrow.
If not for us, for our kids
teaching them how to love and how to be loved
Maybe the best inherited gifts

Sorry is anything sounded offensive. It was not my intention.
Congratulations and let us hear from you again soon!!

ummm....,actually,thanks for improving it for me..,and you'll soon hear from me..!!again..!!