The Ocean Breathes Salty

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Two things to note: yes, this is somewhat inspired by a song (which gave me the poem's namesake). More importantly though, it's inspired by a couple of personal experiences that are (unfortunately) driving me to write a lot of love poems. Because of that, how much you understand compared to all that I understand may be extremely distorted. All the same, I really felt like I had to post this. In a way it's my unsaid goodbye.


The half-priced shop, half-rated,
hangs our reflections in the window, as if to say
“Two hearts for sale, not meant for one another.”

It’s an old-style shop selling
candy hearts and sugar-snap-somethings,
nothing as bittersweet as us. We’re an
undeniably acquired taste, you must admit,
lacking old-fashioned flair or, well, any flair.

We split a bitter smile, stopping
at the harbor of free-faring people,
and I look to you to see your sweetened sour
expression, a familiar taste to come across
upon your lips.

There’s nothing to say with
the melancholy taste of saltwater taffy
and honest ocean swelling through our throats.
Your eyes, glowing in the sea-swallowed sun,
melt like chocolate.

The tiny corner shop now
hangs a closed sign on its door. You bring me
towards your heart a final time, a honey-coated
embrace that’s never been sweeter.

But I look to the harbor.

The ocean vows to me
a promise of freedom, and
we know the taste of love is too sweet,
that the ocean breathes salty, and breathes in me.
Last edited by StoryWeaver13 on Sun Sep 18, 2011 5:46 am, edited 1 time in total.




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Well, although I have only a fuzzy idea of what love actually is, I think you captured it perfectly. It had a good rythem and I like how in the end almost everything vame down to how it tasted, saly, sour, sweet. It makes comparison easy. I wouldn't change a thing.
"His destructive programming is taking effect. He will be irresistibly drawn to large cities where he will back up sewers, reverse street signs, and steal everyone’s left shoe."




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The ocean breaths salty, won't you carry it in? Modest Mouse fan I see? I prefer the original.
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I've never heard the original, but I like this a lot. I have a sweet tooth, and love the referances to candy. It's a very nice poem, I love it. You have great imagery here. I agree with shadowdweller that I wouldn't change a thing. Great job!
-tgirly
When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.
-Abraham Joshua Heschel



I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls...I want to live, Marge! Won't you let me live?
— Homer Simpson